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Bored at university!!??

(95 Posts)
fluttERBY123 Thu 02-Jan-20 17:46:04

My gd started university in September. She says she is bored there. I was shocked as was my daughter, her aunt. It seems students don't talk to each other. You go into the refectory ( a hotbed of socialising and gossip in my time) and people are all on their laptops or phones. Gd is a very confident and outgoing person. I was so busy at university myself I had very little time to study. Is the above the case with other gcs? (Birmingham, since you ask.)

annodomini Fri 08-Dec-23 09:49:35

DGS, a gregarious character, is enjoying a social life in his first term at university. He has taken up a new sport and has found himself a part-time job to keep the wolf from the door. I'm hoping to see him soon to hear all about it.

biglouis Fri 08-Dec-23 09:33:00

I agree with posters upthread about phones having "taken over" and more or less killed the arts of conversation and debate.

My experience of uni was from 1986-95 (undergrad and postgrad). We didnt have mobiles until the 1990s. However as a mature student my life was different and focused on work and study rather than socialising. I knew at a fairly early stage that I wanted to become an academic so I was focused on getting a 1st and then my masters and doctorate.

When you are in your 40s socialising with 20somethings is not really appealing because I felt like their mother. Also I had my own flat and did not live in halls.

You make of "the university experience" what you want it to be. I socialised more with the lecturers than the undergrads.

M0nica Fri 08-Dec-23 09:20:02

I went to university back in the early 1960s, before all the drinking culture, not to say plenty of drinking didn't take place, but i never saw anyone so drunk they couldn't stand or any worse.

University then was a hive of societies, hundreds of them. I joined most of them my first term, as most of us did. and after collapsing from exhaustion during the Christmas vacation, slimmed it down to about 5. Through these societies I met students from almost every other faculty and met the engineering student I eventually married.

The experience I got on the committees of these various societies, including invovlvement with the university's international programme, served me in excellent stead when job hunting as I could indicate I had experience running programmes, working with visiting foreign delegations etc etc.

My children went to university in the early 1990s, the drinking culture was in full swing, and this all seemed to be done within their own faculty, where i had university friends who were studing medecine, dentistry, engineering, science, fine art etc etc, their friends studied the same subjeccts as them.

I went back to university in the late 1990s and not much had changed from my children's times. the few societies were relegated to notice boards in a back corridor where no one went and all socialisation was within faculty, which, to be honest, was ather boring.

I think Bradford1 puts her finger on it. Back in the 1960s we got all the experience her grand daughter has got at and through our time at university.

Then, a university education was not just an academic education it was also offered a wider cultural, social and personal education, which you had to choose and develop yourself. Almost all my university friends came out with an academic degree and new interests and experiences that contributed as much as their degree did to their futue lives

It is very sad that our grandchuldren are missing out on one of the main aims of university to widen the mind as well as academically educate.

Aveline Fri 08-Dec-23 08:08:50

Worth every penny by the sound of it BlueBelle

BlueBelle Fri 08-Dec-23 07:59:30

Well as this has been opened up 3 years later I ll add a post my granddaughter went to Uni has had a great time made loads of friends joined a ski group been on two skiing holidays been interrailing and up to this year (her last) passed all her exams so far so worked hard played hard and is no longer the shy lass she was also had a number of part time jobs Could never imagine how good it’s been for her confidence however her poor mums purse has suffered

BlueBelle Fri 08-Dec-23 07:55:29

So you be just one on to advertise ummmmm naughty naughty
Reported

Emmy2000 Fri 08-Dec-23 07:52:24

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NotSpaghetti Tue 28-Feb-23 11:30:00

Sorry! That looks a bit rude!
Not my intention.
Apologies.

NotSpaghetti Tue 28-Feb-23 11:28:43

Although this is interesting it is an OLD THREAD
I expect a lot has changed in the last 3 years.

biglouis Tue 28-Feb-23 10:51:16

I missed out on the experiences of being in a student house or halls because I had a 3 bedroom council maisonette to myself! It was on a really bleak hard to let estate (now demolished) but was filled with students and people living an alternative lifestyle. In some ways it was a bit scarry (I was burgled twice) but in others it was good fun. I used to sometimes think I was the only person who paid the rent.

When I read some of the accounts now of what it costs to go to uni in terms of student loans and having parents to support one financially I realise how very fortunate I was as a mature undergraduate. It was an amazing few years when I could do what I wanted and was responsible for no one but myself. Wonderful days.

grannysyb Sat 14-Jan-23 19:21:59

That first sentence was meant to refer to my grandson!

grannysyb Sat 14-Jan-23 19:20:49

My DGD is at Newcastle , he seems happy there, however he is quite confident, and his cousin was in the year above, plus he knew some people because he had been at school with them, not necessarily in the sane year. He is second year and in a shared house, he was previously in hall. My DGD1 is at York, she only seemed to have a small social group at school, but seems to know more people now. She is also second year, in a shared house, and they are taking it again fir their third year. The nice thing about her house is they are all doing different subjects. Neither of them have complained about boredom, both universities seem to have lots of societies to join.

biglouis Sat 14-Jan-23 15:39:33

Yes the system has been dumbed down dreadfully. Even before I retired as an acdemic in 2007 I was often told that I marked too strictly. The really hard working students were those from overseas (under pressure from family to get a good degree) and the older students. I found some of the younger UK students to be bright but lazy and more likely to get a 2/1 than a 1st.

Reading some of the threads on mumsnet it appears that things have dumbed even further. Many students come out as an entitled bunch with the "I pay your wages I want some service" orientation which would not have gone down well with me. Nor would all this pussyfooting around gender and wokeness. Im glad Im not an academic anymore.

M0nica Sun 11-Dec-22 07:30:20

Once upon a time to get a First was an outstanding achievement. Many faculties would go several years without ever granting a First.

In the mid 1960s when DH got his, Firsts were so rare he featured in a photograph and short interview in the local paper and had a congratulatory visit from the local MP. i doubt that would happen now there are just too many Firsts.

biglouis Sat 10-Dec-22 15:11:36

Some students feel that if they don't get a First they have wasted their time and money (which is not true, of course, but leads to a very study-driven experience, rather than an all-rounded one

This was my fixation at uni. I had always envied people who had degrees. In a way it was about finding my intellectual limit. Someone I respected very much had told me "You can get a first".

I would have felt that I had left myself down by getting a 2/1. But this was the mid 1980s when a first really counted for something. Also I went as a mature student so could not afford to "mess around". I think this explains why I drove myself so hard. I wanted to do a masters and a doctorate and the only way to attract funding was to get a first.

In the last 3 months before my first degree finals I abandoned my friends, family and social life and did nothing but work. I lost track of night and day. I became the absolute mistress of the 45 minute essay. When I sat my finals I could have answered any question on any paper. I knew as I wrote the words that I was writing a first class answer.

I also burned myself out. It took me half a year to recover.

However I did eventually go on to get my Ph.D and become an academic.

midgey Sun 04-Dec-22 17:17:20

All sorts either the op’s granddaughter left or she is in her final year!

BlueBelle Sun 04-Dec-22 17:09:27

Well seeing as I answered two years ago about me worrying about my very shy self conscious grandaughter who is now in her second year and absolutely loving it she is having a whale of a time, as well as studying and part time working in a bar She has made loads of friends and has a very very good social life She has really come out of her shell She past year 1 with a good result
Nanna8 they still do all the things you describe do not worry 😂

M0nica Sun 04-Dec-22 16:55:48

Most students, past, present and, no doubt, those to come, find the first term at university a shock in every sense.

In my day (early 1960s) over the Christmas vacation, you sat down assessed the whole situation and decided what you needed to do to improve matters, whether it was deciding how we must change, to how whether we need to talk to our tutor, change our course, slow down or whatever and generally from the Easter term onwards , life improved.

Allsorts Sat 03-Dec-22 16:03:29

I hope your gd makes some friends Flutterby, it is so important to mix with her fellow students. Life is too short to feel isolated and unhappy so young. I would be worrying too. Hopefully things could turn on a sixpence.🤞

BigBertha1 Tue 29-Nov-22 06:52:24

Much to my sadness HE has dropped out of university in his first term. He was as I thought he might be totally overwhelmed by the whole thing. He was a music student and he just stopped playing. Totally blocked. The GO has referred him for counselling and he has promised me he will go. I am so worried about his future.

Caleo Tue 29-Nov-22 00:11:41

Seminars are for interactions. Undergraduate social life wastes too much time when they should be learning not mindlessly entertaining themselves.

LadyHonoriaDedlock Mon 28-Nov-22 23:08:38

I went to university in 1972 to study physics. I went to the sort of school at the sort if time where everybody with half a grain of aptitude for it was pushed towards sciences and science fairs. Within a term I'd got my feet under the table at the student newspaper, where I found my true vocation was writing. A little later I even got the gig as Arts Editor, meaning that I got free tickets for any worthwhile cultural event that came to town. I never cared much for Led Zeppelin but I was very popular when I had a couple of freebies for their sold-out-months-earlier concert in exchange for a review.

Student newspapers are defunct now but there are plenty of other student enterprises around if Glasgow was anything to go by when I did my MLitt a couple of years ago. I joined the Beekeeping Society, which had a couple of hives in the campus area. There will typically be amdram societies, debating societies, political societies of all flavours, dancing, sailing, singing groups, all kinds of sports energetic or otherwise, volunteering groups, even just social groups. It's a case of keeping an eye on noticeboatds and finding one that suits.

M0nica Mon 28-Nov-22 22:23:49

Children legally become adults at the age of 18. The universities have no powere over them and cannot be expected to solve every student's problem, even if they are allowed to and DS, who is n academic, says many staff and universities would like to help students, but it cannot be done without the student's consent. This particularly applies when students have mental health problems. No one can contact a student's parent's without that student's consent. The same applies to discussing their work or anything else.

Mishka2003 Mon 28-Nov-22 14:45:54

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FannyCornforth Mon 29-Aug-22 05:45:22

Ah! It’s an old thread, bumped by one of those pesky essay writing people.