I have always felt a failure and below par because I failed my 11+ but was on the borderline of passing. I was offered the chance to go to Grammar School at 13 but my parents wouldn’t hear of it as I’d got all the uniform for the Sec Mod by then obviously.
We had no preparation at all for the exam (I didn’t even know where it was taking place and turned up to my closed junior school on the morning) and then somehow found this school I’d never even seen before. I was obviously a bit late, totally in a state, was greeted by questions which I’d never come across before so actually I think I did quite well getting on the borderline.
I did ok at senior school, in the top class and I may have struggled along in the bottom set at Grammar. I feel the people you meet at school etc can set you up for life so I may have missed out there. There was no expectation whatsoever of me or any other person in my circle of going to university. If I thought about it at all, I assumed only rich, very clever people went to Oxford or Cambridge, I’d never heard of any others. I know of schools now who teach the expected questions and tutor pupils in how to pass the exam. How wonderful it would have been to have been in that position!
And yet, I did alright in my college year, got good jobs, worked with lovely people and excelled myself as far as I could. When I worked at a university in my last job, I felt very inferior to my colleagues whereas, given the chance, I could have got a degree myself. I know I could do an Open University degree or go now on a course but I was always busy earning a living and looking after my family. I don’t honestly think I could have had much of a better life though, I’ve had a good one.