Just reading a thread in MN where the school had announced a ski trip for £1000 (plus additional for hire of gear) and the DD has gone into a strop because the parents really could not afford it. There were many postings about how to explain to a teen that it was not possible.
It brought back memories of the late 1950s when my school (state secondary) announced a trip to Paris. Back then school trips of that kind were very unusual outside of private achools and few ordinary working people had the opportunity to go abroad.
I was top of the class in French and when I told the headmaster my family could nto afford it he sent for my parents. Well my father wasnt going to take a day off work for my sake so my mother went. The headmaster offered her a bursary which would pay for the trip and even offer me a little towards pocket money. He assured her no one would know - not even my form teacher - it was a private arrangement between himself and the school bursar.
Of course the trip was "educational" rather than just for pleasure, and he emphasized all the advantages. An opportunity to experience another culture, to practise my French, and so on. He also pointed out that at 14 I would soon be thinking of a career and it would be something to put down on a CV or application when I applied for jobs. It would certainly give me anadvantage at interviews to explain what I had learned from the trip.
My mother shook her head sadly and explained that my father would see it as "charity" and would not accept money from the school. He had very traditional ideas about the man being the provider and would not even allow her to work. She said "If I tell him these things (the advantages it would bring me) he will just say its going to give her unrealistic ideas above her class." My father was determined I would be working in a factory or shop.
In vain he tried to explain that things in society were changing rapidly, and that opportunities to go into the professions were now opening up to yougsters from working class backgrounds.
My father would not give his consent, just as she had predicted. So I had the pleasure of seeing many of my classmates - most of them far less gifted at French than I was - go off on the trip.
If it had simply been a question of "there isnt the money" I would have accepted that. I knew we were piss poor compared withy some of my class mates. But for the reasons my father gave I never forgave him. I remember telling him "One day I will travel the world and pay for it with my own money."
I certainly did that as an adult.
