GD disappointing exam results

I am a bit hesitant to add on to a long thread, but wanted to put my perspective. My mock O-levels, were indeed a 'wake up call' but in a different way. I had been aware for a year or so that I was slipping a bit (from a very high point) despite hard work.
I did my very best at my mocks, and although good by many standards, they confirmed for me that I was not cut out for university (at that time)
So I told my school and parents that this was not a case of 'work harder' - this was my best. I had to look for something else, and I found a calling I had never previously considered. It was not easy - snide comments about 'boys' and 'pastimes' from some teachers - which were unfair.
But I knew when I read about being a nurse, that was absolutely for me and I never looked back.

I would encourage your DGD to look for what she wants in life, and i wish you all the very best.

Successful people come in all shapes and sizes. Some have Ivy League degrees, while others never finished high school. Some are born into wealthy families, while others have to scrape and claw their way to the top. However, one thing that many successful people have in common is that they didn't get great exam results. Exam performance is often seen as a predictor of future success, but this simply isn't the case. In reality, exams only test a narrow range of skills and knowledge, and they don't necessarily reflect a person's true potential. So, next time you get a bad grade on an exam, don't despair - you could be well on your way to becoming a success story.

One of my daughters wasn't very academic, and didn't work hard at school. If she didn't think the subject would be useful she couldn't be bothered. Nothing would change her attitude and she left with very few qualifications.
She worked hard at the jobs she got, and did well, getting promotions. When she was almost 30, and married with a daughter she decided that she wanted more, and started a degree course, while still working full time. She achieved her degree just weeks before her second child arrived, and has successfully started a whole new career.
Children must follow their own paths. We can't force them into what we think is the right career. Hopefully your granddaughter will manage to get good results, but encouraging her is all her mother can do.

Thanks DerbyshireLass - I have ordered the book ?

Back in the bad old days of % marks, rather than grades, I wondered about the relevance of mock exam marks as a predictor of final outcomes, and so kept a record over some years. Curiously, with very few exceptions, students' final results hovered around 20% above the mock exam, over many years, regardless of the subject. I used to show the students who were disappointed with their mock result just what could be done with some sock-pulling-up and focus in the final push - motivation par excellence.

Many people with dyslexia are good at engineering and cookery. I was told that many years ago when my son was diagnosed with dyslexia. He is the one who is a chartered accountant. My DGS is dyslexic too and I believe I am as well though never tested.

Both my central heating engineer/plumber and my electrician are dyslexic. But have you seen the maths and physics they need to know. Why oh why academics sneer at "the trades"and see them as somehow inferior beings is beyond me.

It is only just beginning to dawn on the powers that be that as some of the older trades people and construction workers retire we are going to be faced with a massive skills shortage. It will seriously impede our economic growth and stability in years to come,

Here's an interesting fact.

Did you know that the actor Hedy Lamarr is now known as the Mother of Wifi. She invented something called "frequency hopping". She patented her invention. When she presented it to the US government during WW2 for the navy to use when launching torpedoes they shelved it. The scientific community at the time could not countenance the idea that a mere woman, with no science training could possibly invent something so valuable.

Eventually it was adopted and it has become the basis of GPS, Wifi, cell phones. It is worth billions. She never received a penny. The scientific community did eventually formally recognise her contribution and she was awarded a medal of honour in 1997. Her son accepted the honour because she was too frail. She died not long afterwards.

She is by no means the only person to be shunned and scorned by academics, purely because they don't fit into the narrow criteria of having the "right paper qualifications".

I find it truly shocking that so much emphasis is put on the ability to pass an exam. Now I appreciate there has to be some system of measurement but in all honesty most people can be taught to pass exams. However it doesn't necessarily follow that they are being well educated. There are plenty of people with the right qualifications who are really not that bright.

I am not saying this out of sour grapes.. I have a degree, as did my husband and so do my sons. One of my sons is a naturally gifted academic with a PhD.

I just feel that we waste so much talent by only focussing on academia, only rewarding the early high fliers and tossing everyone else aside.

I think it's a huge mistake and one for which society will pay dearly.

There is too much emphasis placed on academic ability. Not everyone can go to university, and there are brilliant apprenticeship schemes. Is your granddaughter practical? My great-step niece is not academic but is training to be a beauty therapist and loves it. Some trades people earn a great deal of money and do not have the crippling debts graduates are burdened with. Your daughter needs to accept your granddaughter may be gifted in other ways and find a niche for her.

My daughter was diagnosed with dyspraxia at 11 but did not receive the exam concessions she needed until post 16 when she was also diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. Maths was her biggest problem and we found an excellent tutor. He had been a primary school head teacher as well as a maths specialist, so used to explaining mathematical processes in simple and understandable steps. She passed her maths GCSE on her second attempt. She is now in her twenties and gaining high distinctions in her Music Masters across the board. As others have said, success can come at all stages in life and it is not always measured in terms of academic success. To be honest good plumbers, electricians, hairdressers etc are far more necessary than someone in an ivory tower.

The children taking exams this year have had the disadvantage of missed school as a result of the pandemic. At least your GD should have her final year of preparation for GCSE largely uninterrupted which may make a big difference. My son is a university lecturer and has commented how the students in their first and second years are missing significant basic knowledge as a result.

However as many have said parental expectations and pressure are often detrimental. Tutoring is only valuable if students are close to achieving their desired/expected grades. If they are a long way off it is likely to cause more stress and be a waste of time, effort and money. A good school should be able to advise whether extra tutoring is worthwhile.

I've seen the harm tutoring can do and how parental expectations can ruin someone's career. One of my uni friends, who had stayed on in sixth form to do A levels, wanted to be a nurse back in the days when entry didn't require a degree. Her parents thought nursing was a waste and pressurised her into doing a degree. She was never really happy, was the only one of about 70 students who came out with a 3rd class honours while the rest of us all got lower 2nd class or above. She got a job using her degree but hated it and after a year left to train as a nurse, what she'd always wanted to do! As a result she entered nursing 5 years later than she might have - 4 years doing a sandwich degree and a year in a job that made her miserable!

That taught me to let my own children make their own decisions and not put undue pressure on them. As it happens both were successful academically and have good careers that they enjoy but it was still important not to interfere. Sadly my MiL caused great upset to my DD when she said after AS levels "Perhaps next year you'll get an A in something"! She did and went to the university of her choice and has a successful career managing people who are mostly older than she is. My in-laws put high academic achievement high on their priority list and put huge pressure on my ex to achieve. Ironically that same MiL is now most concerned that my single DD gives her a great grandchild while she is very successful in her career!

Vampirequeen.......I suffer from discalculia. I didn't find out till I was in my 40s. Everyone just said I was rubbish at maths and therefore science so wasnt allowed to study any science at school.

Absolute rot......I can understand scientific principles as well as the next person,

And what is even more funny is that I can understand even the most labyrinthine of tax law. Saved my husband a fortune when he set up his own business. I wasn't impressed with his accountant so I bought a tax guide, trawled through the company accounts, and restructured the company. Took me two days. My husband was thrilled when he received a tax refund of £2300. All strictly legal, moral and above board.

Not bad for 2 days work from a maths thicko.......??.

Frogs

DerbyshireLass

I would recommend anyone concerned with either their child's or their grandchild's perceived lack of academic progress to read a book called "Late Bloomers".

It takes all sorts. Many late bloomers are written off too early when all they need is a little time. Unfortunately both society in general and the educational system in particular seem to over value early high achievers and write off the late bloomers.

No wonder our young people feel so stressed and the rates if suicide are so high, they are under enormous pressure and if they don't "shape up" they are dismissed as failures and losers,

The irony is some of the greatest minds in history (Albert Einstein) and some of the most successful people today are late bloomers. Some of the most successful business people (Richard Branson, famously dyslexic) haven't got a qualification to their name.

Academic success and passing exams is not the be all and end all.

I agree completely with your comments DerbyshireLass.
My sons were both late bloomers - the eldest ‘failed’ all his GCSEs and thought his life was over at 16 because the headteacher had kept on about how vital it was to get good results.
They both achieved degrees in their thirties and have satisfying jobs.
Now it’s the turn of the GC I’d be interested to read the ‘late bloomers’ book - I googled it but a few titles came up - so which one did you read?

Hi Frogs

It's called "Late Bloomers: The Power of Patience in a World Obsessed with Early Achievement" by Richard Kalgaard. Don't be put off by the dry and academic title, it's a very interesting read.

I am a late bloomer myself, ?. But it hasn't held me back. In fact I believe it's been an advantage. Being a late bloomer and not enjoying early easy success taught me patience and resilience, and the value of having staying power and not giving up.

Did your GD achieve her predicted grades? If not, where did she struggle? The staff should be able to tell her from the answers she gave and help her accordingly. Home tutoring is all well and good if you know what the issue is. My sister suffers from dyscalculia (like dyslexia but with numbers). She had a home tutor who took her right back to basics and together they rebuilt her understanding and discovered strategies to help her cope. It turns out she'd misunderstood something in primary that hadn't been picked up so her knowledge was built on a misconception. She actually went on to get A level maths so there is hope for children with dyscalculia.

You DD needs to back off because too much pressure will only make her worse. Stress will make learning even harder.

I really sympathise with your GD as I'm terrible at exams. They never show what I'm really capable of. I'd rather rely on teacher assessment measured over a period of time rather than a couple of stressful hours over one or two days.

DD2 did well at O'Grades but was not very academic. and did not like reading books from an early age. She did badly in Highers apart from Music then did a year in college - wanted to do access to nursing but they made her do Highers again which was a mistake. She did manage to get into uni to do mental health nursing then in her final year they did a series of tests with her and found she had a similar thing to dyslexia the name of which I can't remember. Basically she took in all the information and learning, she could speak out exactly what she wanted and needed to say which was all in her her but she has a processing problem in transferring it to paper. She could/should have had a scribe or a device to talk into from age of 15 but no one including us realised. She did get her degree and has done modules since then but I wish we had known sooner. She subscribes to Audible and now enjoys books immensely. So there are many different processing problems some of which are not known or rarely noticed. DS partner has dyslexia and dyspraxia and she has had the appropriate help through uni and after.

Has your grand-daughter or your daughter discussed this with you?

If they have, you obviously are concerned and just as obviously they were looking for advice or help.

In this case you should try to point out that not everyone, however hard they have worked, are good at sitting exams. There are many other reasons than not having worked hard enough that can influence exam marks.

As a teacher I have seen many bright and hard-working pupils go to pieces in the exam room. Sheer nerves, or as is propable in your grand-daughter's case the feeling of not being able to fulfill parental expectations can and probably will cause a poorer result than if the child had been told that having done her best was all anyone reasonably could demand of her.

If neither of them have asked for advice, there is little you can or should do, except try to build up your grand-daughter's self-confidence by doing some of the things with her that she loves doing and feels good at.

Getting poorer results in school-leaving exams or the mock exams does not have to be the end of the world, as I told one of my classes, asking them at the same time not to mention my opinion either to their parents or their other teachers!

Life goes on, and your grand-daughter whether she has good or less good exam marks should be able to do whatever she wants to, even if it perhaps will meaning re-sitting exams at some point.

Encourage her to find out what she (not her mother) wants her to do with her life and how to cope with temporary set-backs and disapointments. You and I know there will be plenty of both in her adult life - the important thing is not that something turns out otherwise than she would have liked, but what she does with the situation when it arises.

You don't say what grades the girl's parents considered disappointing. Some parents would be thrilled if their child got 4s and 5s, whereas others wouldn't be satisfied if their child achieved less than 8s and 9s. Your DD's expectations appear to be unrealistic in your opinion, but what were the school's predictions? In my GSs' school, they give them GCSE grades from year 8 onwards. Youngest G8 is disappointed with his grades, but his parents are, wisely, not pushing him.
My DS1 went off the rails the year his father left, and only got two O levels - both in English. I sent him to a Sixth Form college with a good reputation and he raised his total to Seven, including five GCSEs - this was the year the exam system changed. A few years later, when he was working as a chef, he decided to take A-level English. I entered him as an external candidate (I was teaching English in FE) and gave him the books and past papers. And yes - he passed with ease.

DerbyshireLass

I would recommend anyone concerned with either their child's or their grandchild's perceived lack of academic progress to read a book called "Late Bloomers".

It takes all sorts. Many late bloomers are written off too early when all they need is a little time. Unfortunately both society in general and the educational system in particular seem to over value early high achievers and write off the late bloomers.

No wonder our young people feel so stressed and the rates if suicide are so high, they are under enormous pressure and if they don't "shape up" they are dismissed as failures and losers,

The irony is some of the greatest minds in history (Albert Einstein) and some of the most successful people today are late bloomers. Some of the most successful business people (Richard Branson, famously dyslexic) haven't got a qualification to their name.

Academic success and passing exams is not the be all and end all.

I agree completely with your comments DerbyshireLass.
My sons were both late bloomers - the eldest ‘failed’ all his GCSEs and thought his life was over at 16 because the headteacher had kept on about how vital it was to get good results.
They both achieved degrees in their thirties and have satisfying jobs.
Now it’s the turn of the GC I’d be interested to read the ‘late bloomers’ book - I googled it but a few titles came up - so which one did you read?

I privately tutor children who do the Scottish SQA exams and I tutor for GCSE as well for those at independent schools in Scotland. This year I had the privilege to tutor a young man who struggles with his English and Maths but is a brilliant 3 day eventer and sportsman for his school and privately. We are all hoping that he does well in his riding and reaches a high level in competition. He uses all his other skills in his sport. He is a lovely, polite young man. It is not all about academics.

I have three sons all individuals. The least academic now owns his own company with a generous size workforce. He earns lots of money and is happy. Son 2 manager for a furniture company married two kids happy so. Number three manager for payroll big company seems happy. It’s not where anyone starts it’s where they Finnish and they are all individuals and find their own way result happy mam and dad.

All children are just not academic. As long as they are happy and healthy then they shouldn’t have pressure mounted on them.

Point out tp DGD that academic qualifications are not the be-all and end-all, and some very highly qualified people have not a grain of common sense in the real world Everyone has some talent at which they shine, and can rise with equal merit. I think it was Albert Einstein who said ’If you ask a fish to ride a bicycle it will fail’

Remember that mock exams are not externally modified. Her actual exam results may well be much better because they will be marked in comparison with a much wider range of abilities.

AGAA4

I wish people would stop putting so much emphasis on academic achievements. There are other skills that people have that are just as valuable.
My GS is dyslexic so doesn't shine at English but he is good at sports and has an outgoing and friendly disposition.
I feel sorry for your GD. Focus should be on her attributes.

Oh, how I agree with you. Poor kids, no wonder so many have mental problems, there is far to much pressure on them to perform.

Two of the skills needed to do well in exams are understanding what the questions are requiring and revision styles appropriate for the student. Covid chaos has reduced the time to acquire these skills. This is a technique that a tutor would help with. Hope she does well.

I would recommend anyone concerned with either their child's or their grandchild's perceived lack of academic progress to read a book called "Late Bloomers".

It takes all sorts. Many late bloomers are written off too early when all they need is a little time. Unfortunately both society in general and the educational system in particular seem to over value early high achievers and write off the late bloomers.

No wonder our young people feel so stressed and the rates if suicide are so high, they are under enormous pressure and if they don't "shape up" they are dismissed as failures and losers,

The irony is some of the greatest minds in history (Albert Einstein) and some of the most successful people today are late bloomers. Some of the most successful business people (Richard Branson, famously dyslexic) haven't got a qualification to their name.

Academic success and passing exams is not the be all and end all.