GD disappointing exam results

Parents have to learn to accept their children for what they are. If your GD worked hard and did her best that’s all anyone can ask. It is possible that her grades will improve over the next year. Would she benefit from tutoring in certain subjects or from guidance on how to revise. Although you are concerned about the situation you should be careful not to let it come between you and your DD

Sometimes mock exams act as a wake up call, either to the child who could do better, or to the school, if they haven’t already noticed she’s struggling.
It’s a long time till the final exams so she has time to make progress either way. Try not to get involved with it with your daughter.

Mocks are a good way to see if further education is beneficial for the child.

If they just need a bit of extra work to achieve better results then they know if it is possible for them or if better grades would be unachievable then they know another career path is needed.

Not everyone is academic, there are other options. parents should not expect their children to be the same as them nor want the same life as them.

I wish people would stop putting so much emphasis on academic achievements. There are other skills that people have that are just as valuable.
My GS is dyslexic so doesn't shine at English but he is good at sports and has an outgoing and friendly disposition.
I feel sorry for your GD. Focus should be on her attributes.

My daughter failed most of her GCSE's, I think, because at the time I was getting divorced. She is now a qualified nurse, and loves her job!

As long as your GD has done her best then that's all that can be asked of her. When she gets the results of the actual exams you'll see where her strengths and weaknesses really are. Then you can encourage her, and her mum, to look for courses or jobs which allow her to use her abilities.

We said to DS that we'd rather he was a happy roadsweeper than a miserable academic...

Thank you so much for your supportive, wise and sensible responses. I also agree that far too much emphasis is put on academic results - not everyone can be academic. I feel for my GD because her mum finds this a ‘difficult’ concept. Academic learning came naturally to my DD and she sailed through her exams. I think she now feels that if my GD just works harder all next year she’ll improve - but at what cost. My poor GD feels she has let her mum down. I’m trying to stay out of it as much as possible, particularly as it’s all a bit raw at the moment, and I’m quite likely to say the wrong thing. I too would prefer my GD to be happy. I will let her know that I’m here for her, of course.

Exams are not a measurement of knowledge, sadly

Now, given this case, please do not get involved.
This is between your dd and gc and there could be facts you are not aware of
Your gd will be ok

How did your GD feel about the actual GCSE exams LizzieDrip?
Mocks were January / February so hopefully she will have had time to make progress since then.
The five weeks of actual exams seemed so long this year. My GD had 23 exams. She was exhausted by the end.

There are many successful people who didn't do well in exams.

Reading your update, are they Year 10 exams you are talking about? Plenty of time to improve in that case and there are so many brilliant subject specific support materials out there now. BBC Bitesize, YouTube videos, written materials, example exam answers etc.

Mamie she seemed to be coping ok with the actual exams, or at least she said she was. She didn’t enjoy revising and I suspect she probably spent a lot of the time just ‘staring’ at revision stuff rather than engaging. I think that’s a symptom of her just not being academic. There’s talk of tutoring for next year but I worry that it’ll put her off even more. Surely, if someone struggles with something, just doing more of it isn’t necessarily going to help - could be counter productive. I don’t know what conversations have been had with the school - if any.

Yes, they are Y10 exams but they were referred to as GCSE mocks.

So, will she do another set of actual mocks in Jan / Feb next year (Y11)? Forgive me, I’m not familiar with High School processes.

I think LizzieDrip it would be a case of working with her to find out where she is struggling and then finding the support material. As an example, if they struggle with a particular science problem, you can find good teachers with YouTube channels who explain it clearly.
Learning how to learn is so important; good schools do it really well, but some do not.
It should not be "more of the same", it should be about finding a different way of understanding.

Perhaps a discussion with her form tutor or head of house might be productive. You could suggest you went with your daughter, just to take notes, not to make comment.
Most secondary teachers want their students to achieve their best.
There are several different ways to revise, other than staring at a page. Maybe you could do a little research into types of learner and various ways of revision.
I know I’m a visual learner and constructing revision ‘maps’ always helped me.

LizzieDrip , many young people flourish out of school and in a college of further education. All is not lost, she is very young and has loads of time to catch up. Or she may leave school and gain employment or take an apprenticeship. My DGS is waiting for GCSE results, he is not academic so his parents not expecting great results - however who knows he may surprise them! Either way he will earn his living and that is what matters. I could'nt wait to leave school and did so as soon as possible without an exam to my name! My parents knew I would be happier in the world of adults and working. Some years later after much study I gained a first class degree! Your GD will be fine , ask your daughter not to worry , if the pressure is off your GD for a few years she may well decide to begin study.

Yes she will do mocks in Year 11, normally in the spring term.
There should then be a sharp focus on grades by the school and strategies for improvement put in place.

Thank you Mamie. I think you’ve hit the nail in the head. I don’t think she’s confident in herself as a learner. She’s not sure how she learns best - I think that’s why she struggled with revision. This has been really helpful

Sounds like it LizzieDrip. If there is any specific subject or topic, feel free to pm me and I will consult GD1 and 2 who are ace at this support material stuff. We have just had 6 years of GCSE, A level, GCSE. ?

Thanks *Mamie, much appreciated. Can’t imagine 6 years of this!!!

We are on Uni stuff with GD1 now. GD2 wants to do medicine so A level will be Maths, Biology and Chemistry.
That's me out. ???

I find it very alarming when parents compare their children's academic prowess to their own. Yes, give the child the opportunity to learn and support them in every way you can but don't make comparisons........that's so unkind! Everyone shines in their own way.

I just want to add the DD2 gave my GD some extra maths coaching just to help her confidence. It seemed to work for her and we’re now waiting for GCSE results.

If all my children and grandchildren do their best, that’s all I can ask. We often seem to forget that the teen years can be very challenging for both girls and boys. DD1 totally messed up her A levels but when they back to college after a year, changing her subjects and went on to university.