Father removes 9 yr old daughter from school over sex ed lessons

VioletSky

At least those who have genuine concerns about this 1 school showing 1 video by mistake which only 1 parent complained about...

Should be stamping down on the other nonsense rather than chucking more fuel on the fire

Do you have proof that this only happened in one school? Or that it happened by mistake? Or that other parents were not concerned?

Can you provide that, please?

Or are you, like everyone else, going on what is in the press (whether you take it as gospel or not) and discussing it in that light?

That is all that any of us can do, and it is not for anyone to 'stamp down' on discussion on a discussion board.

Lol!

So much double standards

I've already shared quite a lot, What this father actually said, the actual lesson content in his words, interviews with other parents which don't back him up, the actual curriculum and the fact that all parents can refuse lessons as well as my own experience with a child in primary and working for a large academy

I've done my leg work

£51, I could get a very nice cardigan for that

Reasonably skilled teachers can inform and discuss all manner of difficult topics in age- appropriate language and imagary.

But can you prove it didn't happen in other schools? Lol.

Of course you can't, and it is not a reasonable thing to ask, is it?

I know someone who back in the day masturbated from a young age (certainly younger than 9) and at 11 suddenly ejaculated. He was terrified that he had broken it and after a month of agonising worry took himself off to the school library to find out how much damage he had done. He didn't dare tell his mother and his father worked away. He wasn't sure that other boys of his age did this so was completely on his own. Imagine his relief when the library told him he was perfectly normal and he could masturbate to his heart's content! 2 years later, he got a sex education based on the biology of an animal!

I don’t think that anything people do in bed is new. Each generation thinks they invented it, but that’s because it is new to them, and there is something taboo about imagining your parents being sexual beings.

I agree.

However, My parents abstained - were not sexual beings.

We went to a religion based school, had religious education and sex education. I was fairly sure, after my parents and nun told us about sex - mum was Mary's cousin and my eldest sister was conceived immaculately.

Lathyrus

It’s hard to know what you would accept as proof.

Not reports in newspapers or on the internet.

Not anecdotal as in parents say this is what my child has been taught.

Not social media.

Not accounts of parents being denied access to curriculum and lesson plans. And removing their children because they are deeply untrusting of professional integrity.

These build up to a body of evidence that something is happening but the aura of secrecy and the patronising insistence “Nothing to see here. On your way” can just as easily be a cloak.

Why, if there is nothing that would disturb, is there such reluctance to involve parents and to be open about what is taught.

We do know for a fact that material designed to be for teenagers has been shown to 9 and 10 year olds. That surely should raise questions as to why and how that decision was taken.

Some might argue that the more knowledge a child is given and the earlier, the better their education.
Or those with in-depth understanding of children’s learning might argue that it is most effective and enduring it begins where the child is at, at a level of present interest and understanding. And that too much, presented at an adult level, leads to confusion and misunderstandings.

Anyway, there is sufficient concern aroused for there to be an official enquiry taking place. We await the outcome. Would you accept their findings as valid?

Well said Lathyrus
It's rather difficult to describe precisely what was in the BBC lesson as it has been withdrawn, even for GCSE pupils for whom it was intended but some topics were as described. Presumably someone higher up at the BBC thought it should be withdrawn too and no doubt questions are being asked there.

Suffice it to say that it was not age appropriate for 8-9 year olds.

Why do those who believe this material is suitable for that age group, that nothing should be off the agenda as that is empowering for children, attack other posters as if they think everything related to sex is taboo? They haven't said that at all.

They do not, but they believe that yes, sex education should be taught but in stages appropriate for the age group and in the context of biology and family relationships at primary age.

I feel 9 is too young for graphic and detailed sex education. Can't they have some innocence? There's plenty of time for all of that later. Having said that, if parents can't be trusted to answer questions truthfully then I suppose the school has to step in. And sadly there may be some children who are being sexually abused. There should be some gentle and tactful way for that kind of subject to come up, so they feel encouraged to speak to teachers. Not sure the best way to go about it however

Doodledog

But can you prove it didn't happen in other schools? Lol.

Of course you can't, and it is not a reasonable thing to ask, is it?

Actually, if children are being shown inappropriate material in school settings or being set inappropriate homework, I think asking for where and how this is happening is completely appropriate from a safeguarding perspective

I have answered all need for proof put to me with facts

If other facts are available I'd like to see them rather than hysteria causing conjecture spreading about the place that appears unfounded and uncalled for

This could go round in circles forever.

I agree that asking where and how it is happening is a good idea, but how do you know? Do you have proof?

No. You know what you have read online, the same as everyone else.

That is all I am saying. I have already said what I think (that in a discussion of this type it is the concepts that matter), but anyone demanding proof is going to be disappointed.

Difference being...

I don't tend to just believe what I read online

There are enough people out there who think drinking your own urine is a great idea or you can cure autism with bleach or can't understand that the main side effect of vaccines is living children.

Common sense is contagious if enough people don't buy into unprovable nonsense

I dare say.

Do you think I believe everything I read? Very few people do, funnily enough. We tend towards confirmation bias on the whole.

Anyway, I strongly suspect that the demands for proof are mischievous, so I am not getting further involved in a discussion of what counts as proof, and whether it is reasonable to expect people to provide it.

Well if it's happening I'm sure there is some proof somewhere

This isn't philosophy

This is safeguarding children

Ok

Actually, if children are being shown inappropriate material in school settings or being set inappropriate homework, I think asking for where and how this is happening is completely appropriate from a safeguarding perspective
Which is exactly why I recommend people to contact the school they’re interested in and find out what goes on for themselves.

The school policy should be on their website

My junior school wasn’t affiliated to any religion but school assembly every morning contained 3 hymns. By the age of 11 we all knew the words to circa 200 hymns and at 78 I still do. The two Jewish children who were allowed to leave the hall when hymns started, hardly ever did so. RE was for Sunday School. Sex education wasn’t thought of and when, during a needlework lesson ( the boys had woodwork ) the female teacher explained about periods, 4 of us 10/11 yr olds, had already started ours. She asked us to tell the class how it affected us. All 4 of us said explaining why we couldn’t go swimming to the male teacher was horrible as we all lied about the real reason.

My eldest grandson was 9 last week & just finished year 4. A month before the end of term he came home with a leaflet explaining the sex education curriculum for his school. He will be taught the correct names for body parts, consent & what changes will happen to his body. He will also be informed about masturbation, ( and to try it for homework) anal &oral amongst other things. From what has been discussed in this thread, some of this information should be taught at secondary school, but it's happening earlier. I believe schools out source the materials for this from various organisations( I apologise in advance of this is incorrect) & perhaps this is where the problems lie. That what is taught,although part of the curriculum, varies from school to school or education authority.

Can we see the leaflet please goldmist

So it is happening in some schools goldmist including trying masturbation for homework.

that's terrible Beverlybj. Surely this is not taught!?

Fleurpepper

Led by Donkeys says the truth. Please give ONE example of them not doing so, please.

Agreed, Led by Donkeys was right to run an Anti-Brexit campaign!

Just what have we achieved by leaving the EU - answers on a postcard please ....

If my DGD was taught about anal sex etc at the age of 9 I would be horrified quite frankly! Yes tell them about their bodies, periods etc and that sex is normal and shouldn't make you uncomfortable etc; give boys separate education about wet dreams, and where it's appropriate to masturbate, fine, but oral and anal sex is too much for a 9 year old surely?

I didn't have any sex education until I went into the upper 6th form (1980) What I had been told by my friend in a roadworks hut on Chestnut Avenue a couple of years earlier, didn't really sink in - my parents said little, and when they tried I knew it anyway, or so I thought, but they supported me when it was too late - I experimented once and got pregnant. My friend sorted it out and I told them the night before I went into hospital. Just how my luck has run throughout my life .... pity I couldn't buy one lottery ticket and win the jackpot first time?

Mallin

My junior school wasn’t affiliated to any religion but school assembly every morning contained 3 hymns. By the age of 11 we all knew the words to circa 200 hymns and at 78 I still do. The two Jewish children who were allowed to leave the hall when hymns started, hardly ever did so. RE was for Sunday School. Sex education wasn’t thought of and when, during a needlework lesson ( the boys had woodwork ) the female teacher explained about periods, 4 of us 10/11 yr olds, had already started ours. She asked us to tell the class how it affected us. All 4 of us said explaining why we couldn’t go swimming to the male teacher was horrible as we all lied about the real reason.

That was very similar to what we had, (I am 61 now) and I am the same with the hymns! None of my schools were affiliated to a church either, it was just what we did! We had a couple of children who left assembly I think, but it never bothered anybody. I didn't have sex education per se until my grammar school changed to become a comprehensive in 1979/80. Previous to that, when I went into the secondary school for girls, pre grammar, we had a very elderly PE teacher tell us that 'soon things would change and we would need a bunny'. That was it! We had no idea what a 'bunny' was until we saw it written on the incinerator in the toilets! I've never forgotten that! Dismal .....

We had no idea what a 'bunny' was until we saw it written on the incinerator in the toilets
I still have no idea 😁
How have I managed all these years?

Lathyrus puts it well.

I’m in favour of age appropriate information throughout childhood. I bought a book that showed basic mechanics after my 5-6 year olds asked where babies came from and how they got there. Lovely, well illustrated, simple clear language. Some time later, it was clear they remembered none of this.
Relationships and informed consent are imo more important than being taught the mechanics of oral/anal/ in primary school. That’s if it’s happening in primary school.