Grandson has failed his Degree

University education is not essential for getting on in life. Today I have been to a funeral. It was a huge church and packed.

Family members read out their memories of X who they said was not academic but was very bright and could turn his hand to anything. He started from nothing, leaving school with no qualifications but a drive to do well.

With his brother they built up a coach business and now employ loads of people, and take thousands of people all over the country on luxury coaches and on holidays abroad. He has a lovely family, beautiful home and all the trappings of a fine businessman.

Grandma you have to earn a decent wage to pay back the huge amount you owe for going to Uni.
It’s no longer free, if it was still, then your post would have been to the point, but it doesn’t work like that any more

GSM
Bluebelle

Great advice from most, especially the two above, I have nothing to add except to wish your grandson all the best

BlueBelle

*Howverydareyou*. If you look back a little way, you will see that we have had an update and hear all about her grandson and what he’s doing now.
I’ll just add to crazyHmy two daughters both went to uni and got a degree. My son didn’t want to go. He went to work at 16 and he’s three times as rich as both of them even though all three are hard workers

The point of university isn’t’t to enable you to earn a lot of money. It’s to enrich your mind and therefore your life. Should be, anyway.

Thanks, BlueBelle

Howverydareyou. If you look back a little way, you will see that we have had an update and hear all about her grandson and what he’s doing now.
I’ll just add to crazyHmy two daughters both went to uni and got a degree. My son didn’t want to go. He went to work at 16 and he’s three times as rich as both of them even though all three are hard workers

I've just noticed that the original post was not far off a year ago, so I hope OP's grandson is now happy and settled.

Doodle

I would have strong words with your daughter. He is her son and he needs her support not condemnation. If she can’t see that then I pity your DGS.
There is a whole world outside of university. Neither of my sons went to university nor did they get any A levels but they are both highly qualified in accounting and management with well paid jobs.

I agree. Neither of my sons went to university - instead, they chose jobs they enjoyed and were good at. They both earn a decent wage, and are happy - and THAT is what counts.

Well, he sounds much happier than he was last year at this time, good to hear.

Has a girlfriend, a job I assume he enjoys, earning enough to go travelling with friends.

Who knows what might turn up in Canada?

Well done him, sounds like a success to me.

What a shame the family are still so crunchy about his failing and good for him for doing something different and not just wallowing. There are many ways to work your way through life and uni is only a small one of them
Good luck to him and his future

nanna8- my brother’s grandson in Canada has done exactly what one of your GS has done. He is now a Carpenter and is very happy.

One of my grandsons bombed out after 2 nd year at uni. He is working as a carpenter now in the bush, happy as Larry with a nice girlfriend. He has more work coming in than he can accept and loves living in the middle of nowhere. He managed to buy a block of land and has built a very,very small house on it from scraps. Big day was when he could afford a water tank! Not my way of living but good for him, very resourceful. Degrees aren’t the be all and end all.

V3ra - a sore point, so it’s rarely discussed.
Yes, he is a hard-working lad, and as you say, his excellence in golf, could lead to something. Thankyou.

His studies are a sore point in the family.

Still? That's really sad.
All credit to him for following his interests and earning a living doing what he enjoys and is good at 🏌️
Who knows where it might lead?

madeline45 What a wonderful, enlightening and encouraging post. Thankyou so much. And what a great career you’ve had - congratulations !

At the moment I think it would be good to try and have a few days doing things that have nothing to do with results, such as going swimming or walking, or gardening., on his own or with you Don't ask him about his future plans right now. Not avoiding the situation but just making the most of the weather if it is fine etc. Perhaps he could help you with something or you could go to something together, and some physical effort would hopefully let him get a few good nights sleep and allow him a chance to just rest from the mental efforts and turn his mind to something else. If you put the final and the consequences to the side for the moment, it allows you to remember that you are a person and not just an exam taker. If you let your mind rest and not keep constantly beating yourself up and thinking what shall I do , what shall I do, it will allow your subconscious to work and something may occur to him, or after a break, his mind might be more ready to think of different possibilities , or if he would like to retake later. If he finds it difficult to sleep or not think about the situation he could try my method. Count backwards in 3's from 1000. The point of it is that it takes a little effort to think in 3's so blocks the thoughts going round and round about the situation. He has learnt a great deal over his time at college , and that is not changed by the exam results. He knows more now than when he started. Not only has he learnt a lot about his subject, but has also learnt how to be disciplined in his learning, work to a timetable. debate with others , work in groups dividing jobs so that you either play to y our strengths or learn something new ,find his way round a library and how to support his views, and of course work to a budget and be responsible for how and when he works etc. Whatever he decides to do in the future, all these skills will be helpful in whatever he choses to do in the future. If you can help him to have this gap, then it does allow him to begin to think about the situation and decide what he might want to do next, then it will have been his decision rather than being pressured by his family. Once he has had this chance to see how he feels himself he will be able to ask for help, look into possibilities and then be able to go on being his own person and make choices, rather than be pushed into things by other people. Good luck to him and well done you for being supportive to him, which he wont forget.
One last thing, once you are out in the world of work, having a degree may or not be important but it is like the driving test. If you drive well and have no points on your license no one asks you how many times did you take the test. With the degree ,once you are working, what sort of degree you got or how long it took you to get it becomes less important compared with the way you work and do you do a good job. You also can become a better manager or teacher of people as you will remember how you felt and be more aware of how people learn and the best way to pass on knowledge. (I do speak from experience, been a learner, a college lecturer, Head of communications for a british company , a mum and a parent and a granny) Hope all goes well for him, and in any difficult times in his future, he will be able to look at this situation and see how he got through that and believe that he can manage

I hope he will return from Canada with a new focus and new purpose , fingers crossed🤞

Oh gosh - I thought this post was lost in Space.😂 I haven’t seen him for a couple of weeks. He has a girl-friend now. His first. His studies are a sore point in the family. I know he is off with a couple of his friends to Canada, on the 9th June. He seems to be happy working in the Golf Club, earning money to pay for his trip. Thanks for all your replies. x

Perhaps CrazyH will come back and tell us how he is

ProudNanna

Your grandson will have achieved a qualification depending on the number of credits gained while at university, for example, if he failed his finals he is likely to have enough credits for a higher education diploma. This is still worth something. He is also entitled to careers advice from the university. It is definitely not the end of the world. It sounds like you’re doing a great job at supporting him in this temporary crisis.

I would think he has a job by now. This was nearly a year ago

This is an old thread.

Your grandson will have achieved a qualification depending on the number of credits gained while at university, for example, if he failed his finals he is likely to have enough credits for a higher education diploma. This is still worth something. He is also entitled to careers advice from the university. It is definitely not the end of the world. It sounds like you’re doing a great job at supporting him in this temporary crisis.

I can remember getting average A level grades- the school had been meged in the sixth form with two others and many good teachers left, so standards had dropped- so I had to go to a poly rather than a uni, this was a big distinction in the eighties. I ended up on a degree I didn't really care for- did OK in the first year, probably enough to pass, but by the second year, I started to lose interest, wound up the lecturers( nearly got sent down when I refused to a module), and then failed..
Looking back, my own stupidity, cost me big time, as no one wanted a degree dropout, and I had to reapply to somewhere else the following year and had to sit in front of a panel to get a grant and basically grovel to prove my worth. I did get my degree two years later, a second in history, but I struggled to find work as employers would ask why I had to sit two degree courses and currently I am in a permanent but quite low paid job.
Morale of the story was, either I should have tried my chances with the job market 38 years ago or tried to pass first time as degree failures and dropouts do struggle and are seen by many employers as lazy.

Glad you had a good time in spite of the weather. My little GC love their older ones and romp happily around with them - it is an excuse for the older ones to be a child again! I am sure it has done him a power of good.

Hope your GS finds his niche in life.

We’re back after a fun (but wet) weekend. Despite the age difference, the cousins enjoyed their time together. My son and d.i.l. were glad my grandson was there. He helped by frolicking around with the little ones, and keeping an eye on them. I just sat and watched.
My daughter has calmed down a bit. He is back at home and his laptop is doing overtime. I hope he will get through his resits. Thank you all so much xx