Grandson has failed his Degree

Surely he can repeat his finals?

Is there no possibility of him repeating any exams or has he had his last chance?
It may be that this course really wasn't suited to him. I know of someone whose doctorate thesis was rejected but he ended up making a very successful business out of a hobby!
What can seem like a major setback in life can turn out for the best in the long run.

The poor boy. These things seem so important at the time but are really a very small part of life. He will find something that suits him as long as the rest of the family dont treat it as the end of any hope of a happy and successful life.
There is so much more to life than a degree. So many more avenues to explore.

I have no advice, but can imagine how disappointing it is for all concerned, especially your GS.

Easy to say, but far worse things than a failed degree.

What if he had developed a serious health condition? Would his degree matter then?

Of course not.

He can try again, do something entirely different, get a job…

Sounds like his mum is more bothered about what others might think.

Next year at this time, it won’t seem nearly as important.

maybe he did it to keep up with family expectations.
maybe it just wasn't his thing.
it's his life. he will find his own way.

I should think the best thing is for him to contact his university to see what the next step would be. They should be able to offer advice. Contacting his personal tutor should be his first step; they, hopefully, will be able to offer help and support.

Poor lad! It's not the end of the world but it might seem like that to him right now.

I'm more concerned that he's staying with you because

his Mum (my daughter) is quite annoyed. Education has been a high priority in our family.

I expect education is important in most families but everyone in your family needs to just take a deep breath and keep a sense of proportion.

He hasn't committed a crime!

I think the next step has to be his decision as he must be 21 or approaching that age.
Surely his personal and subject tutors gave him advice if he was in danger of failing.
I would support his emotional health and forget about the ‘next step’ he must be feeling extremely low.

My eldest failed his finals you would have thought the world had caved in !
We had booked a holiday so as to be at his degree ceremony and then have a few days touring , we went anyway and still talk about going to his non graduation!
He resat the bit that let him down and graduated the following Autumn, his employers held his job for him , he never looked back

I got this from goog le. But dont know how accurate it is.

How many times can you fail uni UK?
How many times can you fail a module at university? You can only fail the same module once before significant action is taken. The first time you fail a module, you will, in most cases, simply be asked to resit the parts you failed, known as “refer” exams. However, if you fail again the university will step in.10 Jan 2023

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
In my experience, it's best just to keep the channels of communication open and not push him in any direction until he is ready to take the initiative. (Within a reasonable amount of time, of course). Just listening and support.

He will be fine - let him work it out

It's true not the end of the world, but to him it is.
The University will advise the next route he's not the first to do it and he won't be the last.
Once the penny drops he will know he will be fine.

It’s difficult to say anything without knowing why he failed. Has he been achieving sufficiently well in previous years but everything fell apart before his finals? A little more knowledge, gently obtained, will enable you to gain a fuller picture. Maybe it’s a matter of taking his finals again, maybe he struggled throughout and really wasn’t suited to the course.
If it’s of any comfort, I was a partner in a highly regarded City law firm but I didn’t go to university. There are ways forward if he wants a career in law, banking or accountancy. One solicitor I knew had failed his degree at Cambridge. He was an intelligent man but had problems with exams which he eventually overcame.
It isn’t the end of the world though I can understand that it feels that way at present. Maybe he would have been more suited to an apprenticeship in a respected trade but was encouraged not to follow that route? Look at David Linley’s abilities - he’s a wonderful craftsman, as are many others who haven’t been to university.
He’s young and university will have given him a wonderful life experience. Let the dust settle, find out more and there will, I promise you, be a way forward for him - and what’s right for him is all that matters, not what his parents hoped for. He needs love and understanding. I’m sure you will give it.

Uni is definitely not the be all and end all. My son didn't go and earns considerably more than my daughter who did. My son-in-law did an apprenticeship instead and has now got a very good career.
I'm cross that this lad's mother has made him feel so bad he has decamped to his Grandma. She needs reminding of the high suicide rate in depressed young men

I would have strong words with your daughter. He is her son and he needs her support not condemnation. If she can’t see that then I pity your DGS.
There is a whole world outside of university. Neither of my sons went to university nor did they get any A levels but they are both highly qualified in accounting and management with well paid jobs.

Riverwalk

Poor lad! It's not the end of the world but it might seem like that to him right now.

I'm more concerned that he's staying with you because

his Mum (my daughter) is quite annoyed. Education has been a high priority in our family.

I expect education is important in most families but everyone in your family needs to just take a deep breath and keep a sense of proportion.

He hasn't committed a crime!

I'm more concerned that he's staying with you because

his Mum (my daughter) is quite annoyed. Education has been a high priority in our family.

That bothered me, too.

Poor lad needs a bit of moral support. There's enough young people out there feeling like 'failures' for one reason or another.

I can understand the disappointment felt by the mother - but it happens, and the important thing is to discover why and what can be done in regards to a re-sit, or to talk about his options for the future.

Thanks fancy that
And thanks all for your empathetic replies.
Yes, he is 21.
The poor lad, he has always had a Saturday/ holiday job, saves for his little extras - recently bought a set of golf clubs (second hand I think) with his savings. A good lad. Another thing that worries me, he hasn’t had a girlfriend. Is his sexuality bothering him? So many questions but no answers…..never mind, as someone said earlier, it could have been so much worse, like a serious illness, but there you go - thanks all. Just had to open up 😍

And he’ll still have a huge amount of debt I assume and no degree to show for it?

I feel his pain. My son failed part of his degree by less than 1%. He had to take a year out and resit. He wasn't allowed to go to extra lectures etc. He got a job until the Easter and then revised.
Fortunately he passed, only could get a pass degree. Now he's a teacher. We just supported him , it's so hard. All will be well !

Thank goodness he has you.. his mum should be ashamed of herself.. he needs lots of love and compassionate listening..
These young people have had a terrible time with covid and the threats of climate change.. just be there for him,
he sounds quite resourceful and will be well able to find how to use his skills and talents if he isn't made to feel a failure

he won't have to start paying off his student loan until unless he earns enough to do so.
how do you know he hasn't had a girlfriend;
presumably he hasn't been living with you the whole time.
his mother should get off his back.
has she been pressurising him.
that's not on.
maybe he can get a job and move in with friends and get away from her.

That's a really helpful comment MayBee70

Your grandson must be grateful for your support crazyH seems the rest of his family are not sympathetic. Give him a bit of space now then regroup, lots of helpful advice on here. Seems like the end of the world but it really isn't.

Oh I feel for him so much, not so much the failing but the family with high expectations, and the fact he obviously feels so down and so much a failure that he’s come to stay with you.
I m sorry but I have no time for parents who are ‘high achievers’ and expect everyone to follow in their footprints.

If I can just add the highest two monetary achievers in my family are two who had no interest in further education and went to work at 16 and 17 and went straight into hard work, ambition, and climbed the rungs on the inside

Please give your grandson as much encouragement and positivity as you can and please let him stay at yours I don’t want him going home to be put down and chastised for not coming up to his families expectations

Please support him as much as you possible can