Grandson has failed his Degree

crazyH, have a lovely holiday with your grandson. It will help him clarify his thoughts.
Callistemon21 and Grammaretto, thank you for your kind comments.

Your thoughtful post Devorgilla reminded me how we met our best friend. He failed his first year at university so repeated the year and was in DH year where they first met and he has been such a loyal friend to our whole family ever since, through thick and thin. Now that DH has died, he still comes to see me.

The National 5 results come out soon as well as Scottish Highers and my DGC are eagerly awaiting dreading the post.
The circle of life.

Enjoy your holiday Crazy.

What I meant to say is yes, a degree is not the be-all and end-all. I’m trying to write this in the dark on a sofa/bed in the holiday cottage, because I don’t want to disturb the rest 👍

Thanks again. all you dear , lovely, wise friends. Yes, you are my friends.and I really and truly value your opinions I feel so much better- a degree. Atm we are in West Wales (Bluestone) with my youngest son and family - and enjoying the company of his little cousins. I will certainly keep in touch with you all / much love xx

Well said, Devorgilla

I am sorry to hear your GS failed his exams. It can be a hard blow at that age when his peer group are moving to the next stage. I hope he will be able to resit or repeat the year but, if not, there are other routes and options as many posters have highlighted.
I think students coming out of University this year will be forever known as the COVID generation. Nothing was normal for them when they first went up and they were in lockdown. This severely limited their ability to socialise and form support groups in that vital first year. Young people going into University straight from school get a shock to their system as you are left to sort yourself out and manage your time and studies. If they are away from home, all their previous support systems have gone. Also, some of them have had lecturers on strike and exams not yet marked. My GS graduated without a final grade, as did his cohort. They really have had a rough three years. Please reassure him it is not the end of the world. I hope it turns out ok for him. His mother needs to step up to the mark and support him.

He can take it again. It would only be the last exam (3rd year). If at first you don't succeed...

crazyH

FC
Eventually, management. But, quite frankly, he will do anything. As I’ve said earlier, he is a very good golfer. And, caddies for a lot of professional golfers and businessmen. I’m hoping someone will appreciate his work ethics and give him a job, whether he gets his degree or not.

www.golfdigest.com/story/prize-money-payout-british-open-royal-liverpool-hoylake-2023

vampirequeen

I know he won't see this now but a degree isn't the be all and end all of life. Perhaps this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Maybe he isn't meant for the constant grind of money making. Life is more than what you earn and own. Money makes life easier but it doesn't necessarily make you happier. He may go down another route where the wages are less but the happiness and satisfaction is increased.

Not having a degree doesn't always mean you earn less either!

Alan Sugar, Deborah Meadon, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, none of whom are what you'd call poor 😀
Jon Snow,

And, of course, you may be awarded one or more honorary degrees when universities recognise your worth.

He won't be the only one, crazyH, it has been an extraordinarily tough time for them all.
www.theguardian.com/education/2023/jun/24/uk-students-without-graded-degree-graduating-covid-strikes-boycott

MerylStreep

All I see from the OP is that qualifications = status.
This can be achieved in many fields without an ology.

"There's more than one way to the top".

Or if not the top, a career, a good salary and a happy life.
Ambition, a good work ethic and the ability to get on with people from all walks of life go a long way to achieving your aims.

Has his mum calmed down a bit?
I hope so, we know a Dad like that and his children have suffered as a consequence.

Thanks CrazyH, that sounds very positive.

My late step son (who was actually older than me) was very high up in Rolls Royce management, and employed a lot of people.

He always said that the most important things were the ‘soft skills’ like work ethic, a pleasant demeanour, manners, being able to talk to people appropriately (sadly lacking in a lot of folk, young and old)

I’m absolutely certain that things will work out for him.

Has his mum calmed down a bit?

FC
Eventually, management. But, quite frankly, he will do anything. As I’ve said earlier, he is a very good golfer. And, caddies for a lot of professional golfers and businessmen. I’m hoping someone will appreciate his work ethics and give him a job, whether he gets his degree or not.

My SIL ‘s son failed his first, second and third year. My Mil later told me that his mum had been going down to the uni weekly doing his washing ,helping with assignments etc.
He resat every year but there was meetings every year with the university. Eventually he came out with a Third something todo with computer game design. IMO he should have left after the second year at the latest as l think at this stage in his life uni isn’t for him and of course he was racking up debt.
He is one of 9 grandchildren and from high achieving families who have more scholarships than you can shake a stick at and went to Russell goup / Oxbridge uni’s. His sister went to a different uni no problems. What l will say is he got a job as soon as he left and is now 34 and has never been unemployed,. Found and married his soulmate. Don’t want children so their life is work and playing computer games. Not my idea of life but he is the most contented l have ever seen him. He was lucky in that it wasn’t a surprise ( and l doubt it should have been to this man) and had supportive parents and Granny.
As long as he isn’t allowed to drift ( ie to get a job ) and is given space and encouragement to think and plan and do what interests him. You only learn by your mistakes and the support and direction / options on offer discussed with him in his time.

CrazyH, I hope all's well.
You mentioned that the degree was in Business Studies; what type of work was / is your grandson hoping to go into?

All I see from the OP is that qualifications = status.
This can be achieved in many fields without an ology.

Is your gs upset, has he worked hard at his degree and if he wants to try again he needs to contact the university.
If not, it’s not the end of the world, it really isn’t.
At 21 he is an adult and will make his own way as we all do.
Enjoy your time together and hope his mum comes round soon . Good luck.

I know he won't see this now but a degree isn't the be all and end all of life. Perhaps this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Maybe he isn't meant for the constant grind of money making. Life is more than what you earn and own. Money makes life easier but it doesn't necessarily make you happier. He may go down another route where the wages are less but the happiness and satisfaction is increased.

My god daughter failed her finals, resat the year and then still just failed one exam which she is resitting again in a couple of weeks. They really want her to pass! Communication is so important. Just try to make sure that as many lines as possible are open.

My 4 kids all went to uni and 3 of them have higher degrees, PhDs etc. The one who earns the most and has the ‘best’ job? The one who left after 2nd year, married at 20, and started work with the public service. My grandson, her son, is about to graduate as a medical doctor after studying for 7 years- he has several degrees. These days, when so many have degrees in so many different fields , I’m not sure anyone cares anymore. Our family is what you would call a bunch of academics, profs, lecturers etc. - bad pay, long hours and not at all what it used to be !

Op does not say reason for failure. Did he not do the work or is he just not academic?
A big difference. Dreadful situation to be in - high achieving family and you are expected to be the same but aren't.
You made fab friends at uni had one long party and did no work.
You deliberately failed as an act of rebellion against family pressure.
Wondering which of the above is nearest fit. Op's response to vary accordingly.

Just give him loads of love, comfort food and space to think about his options bless him. Let him spend the rest of the summer resting and deciding what his future entails. He Will reunite with his family eventually and decide what’s best for him. Good wishes for you both

I am glad that he has you there for him. He needs support and encouragement, he will ind his own way. If he really wants a degree, he can return at any time and at any age. Doors will open for him, there are many opportunities for him. Maybe he could look into volunteering for a while such as VSO. There are other routes to fulfilment other than a degree.

Hopefully, he will be able to resit the exams he failed so that he can pass his degree. There is always a way forward, even if it seems as if his world has fallen apart at the moment. He will be feeling a form of grief at the moment and this will be exacerbated by the knowledge of his mother's disappointment and disapproval. My daughter was on course for a first or 2:1 in her degree. In her final term, my father, her grandfather was dying and, as she had always been very close to him, she was naturally extremely upset. This affected one of her exams and she graduated with a 2:2. After the pandemic, she was accepted back into the same university where she had originally studied. The tutors knew her and her capabilities and she was accepted onto the Masters course. She passed her Masters with distinction across the board. Things seem bleak for your grandson but life has a way of working itself out.

Just report your posts and ask for them to be deleted, explaining why. What I mean by outed is making yourself and others identifiable. I know you’re a proud mum, with good reason, and meant no harm - but anyone can read what we post here so best to be cautious.