U3A

I’m a member of my local U3A which has over 100 groups to choose from. Monthly meetings have a speaker, which doesn’t really interest me, but I am a member of a very lively topical discussion group, and for several years previously a philosophy group. Some groups are cliquey, some are welcoming. They vary, as people do. There is just a lunch group, and there are also coffee mornings at a local cafe. Why not start one of those to get to know people?

Caleo

Offer to serve as leader of a new group. Anything legal will do. You don't have to be the expert just to organise the others in the group, What interest you? Share your interest. The U3A is built on unpaid service to others.

Or you could offer to be the treasurer or the secretary.
I myself was a group leader for years.

Caleo, U3A group leaders are volunteers, there isn't a treasurer or secretary, just a group leader who arranges a schedule and meeting place.
There is a local U3A group committee but as always, it's hard to get people to volunteer for that. I think you are minimising slightly the amount of work involved in organising a group but of course, each group and local U3A is different.

Group Leaders are now to be called Facilitators.

I can’t be doing with the ins and outs of terminology so I’ve told my lot it won’t make any difference to us on the allotment because Mother Nature always has the final say. 😂

There is just a lunch group, and there are also coffee mornings at a local cafe. Why not start one of those to get to know people?

We have a Friday lunch group and a Sunday lunch group, both once a month.
They're both in the same town centre pub so are easily accessible for people.
We're asked to let the group leader know if we're going so they can let the pub know how many people to expect.

Or you could offer to be the treasurer or the secretary.

If you do that, be prepared to do it for life as no one else will want to take it on. A friend gave 15 years as secretary but when her health meant that she could no longer do it, no one else wanted to take over and she felt forced to carry on for another 2 years.

I had no luck with my local U3A. It was very cliquey and was run like ICI. They suggested going to one of their coffee mornings to start with, so I cheerfully went along, but it turned out to be a general meeting with a woman "chairperson" who had an agenda, and demanded to be addressed as "Madam Chairman" if anyone wanted to say anything.

One man was told off for not doing this. I laughed because it seemed so OTT and I thought it was a joke, but everyone glared at me, and the man humbly apologised, addressed her as Madam Chairman and repeated his question. After my laughter, I was totally ignored except for one person who said they had to assess at the meeting whether I would "fit in". I made the decision for them and didn't join.

Sparklefizz I had to laugh, your description rings various bells, what an odd organisation it can be!

Sparklefizz, what exactly is wrong with "Madam Chairman" as a term of address at an official meeting?

Meetings are generally boring business stuff and the accepted procedure aims to make the meeting as smooth and speedy as possible.

Nothing is wrong with it in a business setting, of course, Caleo. I worked in banking for years so am used to it.

But I wasn't expecting it in what had been called a "coffee morning". Perhaps I should have .... or maybe I should have insisted on being called it myself in the various groups I have organised over the years.

Check if there are other branches in your area. There are 4 within easy driving distance of us. To only have 4 groups it must be a very small one. I've checked ours out and may join at some time, but never seem to have the time!

Lathyrus3

Why not volunteer to run something with a decent level of organisation ferry.

I’m sure you could do better than all those other unpaid volunteers🤔

You’re not buying a service 🙄

I'll tell you why I won't be doing that Lathyrus3 -

because I have volunteered in various capacities since the late 1970's. I have served on fundraising campaigns, hospital groups, homeless initiatives and many more.

I've stood behind tables at jumble sales and made teas, baked cakes and cooked for community suppers more times than I could ever remember.

I served as a Parish Councillor for 5 years (which of course is unpaid as you are at pains to point out) and chaired a Community Interest Company that organised events and supported local community groups.

I now have chronic, degenerative arthritis mainly in my spine which precludes me from doing a lot of things I used to be able to manage.

I now would like to enjoy my later years without the responsibilities of volunteering which has taken up a good chunk of my time for over 50 years.

Perhaps you might wish to consider the fact that you do not know the personal circumstances of the people on this site, and maybe not be quite so rude and obnoxious with your responses.

Yes. ferry most of us have done all those things.

And most of us have become disheartened and given up when ourvoluntary efforts met with grumbling and criticism.

Personally I don’t pass judgment on the efforts of others unlessI am prepared to try to step up and take it on.

I've had mixed experiences of U3A. I absolutely loved a couple of the groups I belonged to (I even ran one of them myself eventually) but others were total dead ducks. I think one of the problems with U3A is that the age range is narrow (a tactful way of saying there are a lot of people with deeply-entrenched views who think their age entitles them to rule the roost). My friend's husband wanted to move to a little seaside town with a large population of retirees. She vetoed the idea on the grounds that "it's full of old people". In some instances, you could say the same about U3A groups. In my experience, you just have to taste it and see, being prepared to move around a bit until you get a group that suits you. I've had a lot more fun in evening classes where there are no age barriers.

I joined the only local group after I moved into the area on the death of my husband, to play Mah Jong which I had been playing for five years previously with another U3A group. I found the people very reluctant to let me join any of their set numbers and unfriendly. The other groups I was interested in were equally unfriendly when I made initial contact. After six months of trying I gave up.

I've joined a couple of U3A classes in the past. I've found them cliquey too, but not everyone there was the same of course.

I've been shouted at for sitting in someone's chair [not knowingly], and was the 'baddie' from then on, dirty looks from then on! In another group, as I stood there, I was blatantly left out of a discussion for a Christmas lunch with people I'd mixed with for months with no problems...I obviously wasn't included!

I then witnessed a new married couple be ignored and side lined when they spoke. Ok they were a little different in their dress sense, but were both very intelligent, decent people and interesting. It was so rude. They eventually left, and I did too, disgusted.

Other things happened, I won't go on, but it's not for me. Too much snobbery in this area.

We have 70 groups in my local U3A and they are very varied. I go to Yoga, canasta, a jazz group and a history group.. There is also an on-line U3A with loads of support and groups that you can join through zoom. Also several holidays on offer.. I think that if you joined maybe the Natural History Group and chatted to people you could find out whether there is the possibility of starting a group that does interest you.. as they are all member led.. don't be put off by cliqueyness as it is like any organisation where people gradually get familiar with you..

NonGrannyMoll

I've had mixed experiences of U3A. I absolutely loved a couple of the groups I belonged to (I even ran one of them myself eventually) but others were total dead ducks. I think one of the problems with U3A is that the age range is narrow (a tactful way of saying there are a lot of people with deeply-entrenched views who think their age entitles them to rule the roost). My friend's husband wanted to move to a little seaside town with a large population of retirees. She vetoed the idea on the grounds that "it's full of old people". In some instances, you could say the same about U3A groups. In my experience, you just have to taste it and see, being prepared to move around a bit until you get a group that suits you. I've had a lot more fun in evening classes where there are no age barriers.

Pre pandemic I used to go to a gym/sauna. After a while I made a point of going to the sauna in the evening when there was a mixed age range because I couldn’t cope with the sort of conversations I encountered in the daytime where most people were my age.

I am most sorry to hear of those instances where people found their u3a to be cliquey or too formal, or whatever cos my local u3a is definitely not that at all. True, the Knit and Natter group often doesn't get much knitting done and my DH was disappointed with the photography group cos he expected to be taught how to use his camera (after owning a high quality range of cameras for over 60 years!) rather than the techniques of lighting and composure. But I've been in several other groups and they have more than met my expectations. I am Treasurer of our u3a (and will probably have the job for life cos nobody wants that job) and we always struggle to find committee members (but usually get them eventually). We did have groups cease during Covid but new ones are now coming in and we have over 500 members and about 40 groups, plus a monthly speaker and a separate coffee morning. Some folks attend loads of groups and meetings and some only one or two. That's fine.

We take the view that group "leaders" should not be out of pocket so the leader collects 50p per person for refreshments and keeps it - if they choose to buy or make fancy cakes that is their choice.

Leading a group might only involve finding a room (in a house or hired venue - though these eat into our "profits") - taking a register and collecting the 50p or £2 in a hired room and handing it over periodically to the Treasurer. The Leader might not have any more knowledge than the other members so some groups take it in turn to pick a topic for each meeting (allowing for not everyone being brave enough to do that) and I don't know ANY member who sticks it out for more than a few weeks who doesn't feel included or unable to join in.

I would also suggest giving a new group a bit of time before deciding to stop going. If you join a language class and the others don't have your knowledge it can still be enjoyable as a way of meeting new people. My first class was Genealogy and I quickly realised I had far more experience than the others, but I enjoyed helping them and in so doing got to know new people. For me that was part of the reason for joining the u3a.

Although the title includes the word "University" most of the subject matter is nowhere near that sort of level and anyway the word really refers to general learning. You can hardly call knitting a University subject!

Good luck to you all. My u3a saved my sanity and I now couldn't imagine not being involved.

Thanks everyone for all these contributions. It looks as if it's the luck of the draw with U3A.

You can hardly call knitting a University subject!
...unless you study knit on a Textiles or Fashion degree course, Madmeg!

Join........and then start a group of your own.

I've looked on line a few times to see the local groups as I thought it might be a good way to meet some people and maybe make friends but all of the groups I was interested in are fully booked.

We are both U3A members in our small market town. It's quite active with about 20 groups and we variously go to a wine group, play reading, a book group and the occasional lecture and coach trip. We meet people and we think it's worthwhile.

NotSpaghetti

^You can hardly call knitting a University subject!^
...unless you study knit on a Textiles or Fashion degree course, Madmeg!

Which our neighbour's DD did.

University = people gathered together with the aim of learning something.

Ukulele anyone? Wine Appreciation?

Madmeg we pay extra on top of fees for room hire and towards refreshments.
Unless the group is a small one, hiring a hall is better than meeting in each others' homes and it keeps village and church halls occupied too.

I am 63, not yet retired but have cut back to a 4 day week. I thought I’d give U3A a go as one possible source of activities in retirement. I joined an art club within my local U3A about 3 months ago and I really enjoy it. It’s not a class and we’re all free to do our own thing but at the same time share tips. I’m the youngest at the moment which is a novelty but is nice to meet with others whatever their age and see how everyone’s managing their retirement.

There are lots of other activities that I can’t currently attend and many don’t appeal but for a small free the one I am attending is well worth it.

Our u3a has about 500 members and currently 42 groups plus a monthly talk. We stayed with this one when we moved because the nearest one had about 80 members, only a few interest groups and wasn’t affiliated to the national u3a which provides advice and support. Recently it closed. U3as depend on volunteer members to run groups so the more members the more groups there are likely to be. They also depend, like many organisations, on volunteers to fulfil various roles and act as committee members. Even with such a large membership it’s hard to get people to do more than turn up. My husband’s currently in his third year as chair because no else wants to do it. You will have to travel beyond your local area to find a u3a which offers more. They exist but not everywhere.