How to understand why my daughter cut me off?

Give her the time and space Curlysports. That way if she doesn't hear from you, she'll be wondering, won't she/will she ?

I did and she says she isn’t doing this to hurt me but I don’t know who would think this doesn’t hurt a parent or even her. It has to hurt everyone involved. Right?

This is how I feel. How can anything get better if we can’t talk about it? I have always been one to talk about everything. She always told me everything. I know I said some mean things but we were so close, her and all her friends were like my children. She was an only child so her friends were always at my house.

Put it down on paper again explaining how you feel daily and repeat that you love her, that she is special to you. It has been 2 years, so perhaps it's time for a reconciliation with or without a therapist. Good luck.

She did not tell me not to email, she just doesn’t want to talk about anything specific or talk to me in person.

How do I prove myself if she won’t talk to me?

So I guess I am in a odd position, my mother left my sister and I for 2 years when we were teenagers and never sent a card never contacted us. She has done it to both of us again. My daughter is very close to my mother. My problem is I always think to myself if my mother had only apologized, if she had only tried I would have forgiven her because she is my mother.

This train of thought interferes with how I handle my situation because I don’t want my daughter to think I don’t care. I have not sent an email to my daughter since July 4th of this year, in that letter I told her I will give her the space she needs and I am here and I love her very much again I reiterated I was so sorry for my actions. Like I said before I don’t remember all of it. She brought up going to a therapist together about a year ago and I said I would do anything to get back some kind of a relationship. She said was getting a referral because she didn’t want me to pick a therapist, now she says she is not ready. Nothing has happened since she suggested a therapist. She said she loved me and it means a lot that I keep trying. It confuses me when she says these things.

I am sorry I am all over the place with this but I don’t know how to explain it all in the right way.

It can be very hard to forgive and forget so easily when you've been hurt badly, especially when it's your own flesh and blood.
For the time being I'd let sleeping dogs lie and give your daughter the time to build up trust in you, but allow her to make the first move. Meanwhile it will also give you the time to prove yourself.

MOnica that saying 'Least said soonest mended' to me is very ambiguous. Sometimes surely it is better to talk, to explain, clear the air etc. I have repeated that so often to myself but so many times I wonder would it have been better to have spoken. Otherwise things build up and then something happens and it is 'the straw that broke the camels back'. I think I will never get it right.

I second everything that agnurse has said. Least done soonest mended.

Take your self in hand, find other outlets for your time and your emotions to enable you to build a life of your own. Of course the absence of your DD will always be there, but meanwhile find a way of living without her and not permanently dwelling on her absence.

If she's an adult, and she doesn't want you to contact her, for now, you need to leave her alone.

If she hasn't specifically asked for no contact, or simply hasn't responded, I think sending a short note every 6 months or so might not hurt.

But if she has specifically told you not to contact her, you need to respect that. If you continue to contact her against her wishes, you're likely to push her even further away. Instead, wait for her to come to you.

Keep in mind that she has healing to do as well, and she may not be at a point where she is ready to forgive you.