*SUPPORT* for all who are living with estrangement

Afternoon ladies.

Another lovely sunny day but still chilly. We administered the ear drops this morning but it wont be a easy later as she'll know what's coming. She's stopped scratching which is the main thing.

Finding it difficult to get motivated, that's the problem with too much time on your hands, it's easy to put things off until later, tomorrow or the day after.

Think we'll have a Chinese takeaway this evening, something different and I'm fed up with cooking and really missing not being able to go out for a meal. Still mustn't grumble, she says as she grumbles.

Take care everyone.

Ooh 'Happy Birthday' to Mr. h. for tomorrow hugshelp .

Mixed news from the vet. No ear mites or infection but her ear is inflamedso she's had a steroid injection and needs drops twice a day for 7 days.

The not so good news is, if it hasn't settled down in a week's time she'll have to go in, be sedated and have fur in her ears plucked!!

Her breed has narrow ear canals and excess fur in the ear which can lead to the current problem. Poor baby was very upset to be taken away by a stranger when she could see her dad stood at a distance, watching.

"There's always room for more people to love in a family, without pushing some out". You'd think so wouldn't you; if only that were the case in every family, and if only there weren't some who have to be the centre of attention and cannot stand the person they 'love' having love for others.

That must be hard, being so near yet so far but great that you saw her. As for those starlings, I hope they were from the same household.

Evening friends.
I do love mac cheese smiles -proper comfort food. Chucked a bit of spinach and leftover ham in our last one, that was nice too. Hope your cocka is all better soon. Everything is so difficult to sort these days, glad you have a vet system that is doable though.
Well done on quitting the fags starblaze - something I battled with for years and years than managed about 7 years ago I think it is now - and I'm still chuffed with myself.

Good on your vet PF I can imagine the pain of that wedding photo, I really feel for you. And even though MIL is lovely, nobody wants to be replaced! There's always room for move people to love in a family, without pushing some out. I'm glad you have the contact now, and I do hope that in time there will be more and more joy in it and less pain. xxx

Hope you have had a good day yourself rhinestone. Despite the weather throwing allsorts your way.

Busy day for us. We popped over to drop essentials at our daughter's and she finally got h er Easter egg that I had bought ages ago. (I'm one of those people that busy them in Jan and xmas pressies in aug normally sort of thing). She lives on a quiet cul-de-sac so we treated ourselves to a leg-stretch which was so welcome. We also saw a pair of starlings mating on the ground outside her flat. For AGES. And very loudly and vigorously. I've genuinely never seen anything like it. We sat on our car a good few feet from her front door and had a long distance natter. It was so good to see her but golly I missed a hug.

Spent the afternoon making a cake for DH's birthday tomorrow.

Stay safe and well all. xxx

I'm sure we have all had difficult thoughts during this time about people we are no longer in contact with and how we would feel if something were to happen to them.

The only way I can think of to deal with that is to let those thoughts and feelings come and process them. Some of us are cut off, some of us have done the cutting off and some of us are feeling our way through a reconsiliation in a time with a lot of added stress and pressure.

I think the way forward is to focus on being kind to ourselves rather than aiming any thoughts and feelings on them when we don't know or understand how they are thinking and feeling or what they are dealing with.

Just hope they are safe and well and be happy for them if they have good relationships and support systems around them.

As you all know I will never contact my estranged family members but I don't wish any harm on them and I hope they are happy.

I suppose the argument could be there, that maybe when i am not in their lives, that causes some stress and unhappiness but the fact remains that it was their responsibility to nurture a loving relationship while it was there, as I did. Now they must find happiness without me.

Hi Rhinestone, seems as if your weather is even more changeable than ours.

How are things over there? Are you managing to get everything you need when shopping? The ridiculous panic buying we had here has abated thank goodness; we even have plenty of toilet rolls now.

It's a shame your D didn't think to put that photo away while you were there. I'm not surprised it "hurt like hell to see it there" PF.

I know how much I dislike seeing photo's of our ES, our GC and his wife when we visit DS. There are only a couple but I'd prefer not to see any at all TBH.

It's nice that your D is close to her m.i.l. but again, understandable that you find that hurtful too. I'm glad you liked you D's p's.i.l. but again, a little sensitivity from her m.i.l. perhaps would have been better.

Don't be hard on yourself. I'm not surprised you struggle. To have gone through all that you have, to have thought you were reconciling but weren't told that you already had a GD was a huge obstacle to overcome and you've done so well.

I'd like to think that anyone in your D's position with all that's happened, would be thankful that their parents were able to try and put the past behind them, and rebuild the relationship.
Trust once broken isn't easily repaired.

Not everyone could PF. "but the part of my heart with her name on it sometimes feels like ice or just a husk - maybe a mixture of both". You have a wonderful way with words and have just described my heart to a 'T'; the love somehow survives though doesn't it.

That was good of your vet. I suspect our cocka will need ear drops; now that's going to be fun.

Best wishes to your DH and love and hugs for you x

Good morning all from across the pond. Snow yesterday but it never stuck. Sunny today , warm tomorrow. We go through all seasons in a matter of hours it seems.
Just wanted to wish all of you a good day .

Oh I will try that PetitFromage

Do you think you will ever learn to trust your daughter again? It sounds like she is trying so hard but I worry if she will eventually sense your feelings and stop trying if you don't let her back in again.

Obviously my mum is abusive so I have no doubt if I let her back in she would turn the tables and cut me off. To her my going back would be a declaration of her innosense and she would cut me off so she could stay appearing that way (I've seen her do it with a lot of relationships where she was the one in the wrong). So I think it's great that you are trying so hard to move on with your daughter.

I hope she makes a good recovery Smileless.

Our cat has a bit of a cold which isn't going away, so our vet kindly hand delivered some antibiotics. This was the only way we could get treatment, as we are shielding and couldn't take him to the vet.

It was the second anniversary of my daughter's marriage a couple of days ago, the one she didn't tell us about for over a year, as well as not telling us about the birth of DGD1 until she was 14 months old. All of these special events were shared with her MIL and, when we went to visit last month, there was a picture of her with her MIL on her wedding day, which had pride of place. It hurt like hell to see it.

We met DD's MIL and PIL separately for coffee, at their invitation - although SIL didn't want us to meet - and they are really nice people. The MIL kept telling me how she regarded DD as a daughter. Funnily enough, that hurt like hell too, that MIL is the one DD chose to spend these special occasions with rather than me.

DD is in almost daily contact now, sending photos and videos etc, but the hurt runs so deep that I don't think I will ever get over it. How do you ever reconstruct a relationship after that? I mean, obviously you can, and we are, reconstructing a relationship of sorts, but the pain and feelings of betrayal and rejection still run so deep that sometimes I struggle. I don't have the feelings of living bereavement any more, but the part of my heart with her name on it sometimes feels like ice or just a husk - maybe a mixture of both.

Enjoy the Martini, Starblaze. Apparently you can make very good Martini cocktails with basil .

Have a good day, everybody!

Morning ladies.

Another day to fill and apart from taking out cockapoo to the vet this afternoon nothing else planned.

She's scratching at one of her ears pretty consistently and is a bit subdued so better to get it checked out. We have to ring the door bell and then stand 6 feet away from the van so the vet can come to get her and take her in for an examination.

When the vet appears at the door we have to repeat the procedure so she can out her back. All sounds very well organised and I'm just relieved that we've got an appointment for her.

So that will be our bit of excitement for day.

I have treated myself to a bottle of Martini. Might be odd drinking now I am a non smoker. Good old mum, abusing me an addictive personality eh? Quitting smoking after all my other achievements I feel I have finally thrown off my childhood. Feels good.

Wish I had green fingers, I can just about keep my Orchids alive and flowering. At least they are very beautiful. When I was queueing today, the couple in front got told off, they were so desperate to get to the compost they crossed the line bless them

Just got back from a lovely walk with the dogsit certainly lifts your spirits getting out in the sunshine and enjoying the fresh air.

Just waiting for the macaroni cheese I made earlier to heat through for our evening meal; one of Mr. S.'s favourites and enjoying a while we wait.

Not a bad day; hope you're all coping x

It's worth taking a look 3nanny. We'd looked a couple of weeks ago and no one was delivering but a couple are now. It's certainly cheered us up having some colour to enjoy.

Smileless2012; I have not checked with any of the garden centres as yet. I always go to a large garden centre with lovely cafeteria. Myself and my brother love to sit outside over there and visit there often from April onwards.
I asked my brother to walk over to it because it is near where he lives and he said everything is closed down and it is all locked .
There is another one near me and they also sell fruit and veg, so I went on-line and they are saying that due to Covid 19 they remain closed and all fruit collections are already booked up. I did see a few trays of small plants in supermarket yesterday but I had finished my shop and was feeling a bit tired so just left them.

We are retired agnurse but had our own business which is still in existence but is dormant so we still need our business accountant who also takes care of our personal tax returns.

I'm glad your shopping trip went well 3nanny. Your GC will be thrilled with their crayons, pencils and paper not to mention the extra Easter Eggs.

I'll have to resist that temptation when I go on Friday; I love chocolate.

Mr. S. has spent the morning planting the pansies we got yesterday in tubs and hanging baskets and the roof terrace looks really lovely. We didn't think we'd be able to get anything as it was only last week that our local garden centres were open for deliveries. They must have been waiting for bedding plants to be ready.

Have you checked to see if any in your area are delivering? Mr. S. also got some much needed compost.

It must have been very tempting to accept your D's invitation so well done for resisting; better safe than sorry even though you must be missing them dreadfully.

I noticed a lot of emptiness when I went shopping today, they said supplies aren't coming in. Anyone else see the same?

It's just after 12'o clock so Good Afternoon to all, the mornings fly by sometimes. It has been a lovely sunny morning and just a hint of a breeze so the good weather is a blessing.

Smileless2012 the shopping trip went well, I have been wearing a mask and gloves for the large shops as people still reach over in front of you to shelves and some of them can get close. It felt invasive at first but now after several weeks it is just my "shop wear" and I do not give it a second thought.

The large supermarket is near my daughter and grand-children's house and as I had a large selection of crayons and colouring pencils/paper I wanted to drop them off to her. The supermarket had so many end of the range Easter eggs
at next to nothing prices so I bought a lot of them and included them with the crayons. My daughter wanted me to come in for some tea but I would not do that (I am such a stickler for the isolation rules) The house almost beside my daughters had visitors it was the Grand-ma and Grand-dad apparently they go there most days and go inside.

I could really do with your Mr. S. to give some advice about getting something done in my back garden I sweep up and keep it tidy but nothing else at the moment. When I sit out in the sun on the patio I have my eyes shut and sunglasses on so I can forget about the plants I have not planted yet.

This may be a very stupid question, Smileless, but I thought that your employer looked after your taxes in the UK? Although I suppose that would not be the case for retired people.

Here in Canada we all have to do our own. Hubby and I use tax software to do ours. It takes me maybe an hour or so each year to do it. We just received our refund checks today.

Oh that's a shame hugshelp especially when it's a walk you enjoy.

Our chicken story has raised a few chuckles over the last couple of years.

"The sudden change, oh yes..." Yes indeed. It has to be seen to be believed doesn't it, and even then it doesn't seem possible.

Well I've managed to occupy myself for another day. Exercises done and then an email from our accountant requesting information for our tax returnsboring but it filled an hour or two.

Mr. S.'s flowers arrived this afternoon so he'll be busy getting them planted tomorrow. The roof terrace already looks lovely and will look even lovelier when he's finished .

Your walk with the dogs sounds lovely smiles.
We had a nice quiet river walk, about a 10 minute drive away, but a large group of teenagers have taken to hanging out there, and they congregate at the narrowest part of the path which means it is impossible to pass at a safe distance. So that's snookered.
Your chicken story did make me chuckle.
The sudden change, oh yes...

Hope your shopping trip went OK 3nanny, if you're anything like me super market shopping has never been my favourite past time; even less so now.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. The really annoying thing was having to wait for our meal.

It's incomprehensible to me how much and how quickly they can change. Mr. S. has a card our ES sent him about 10 years ago when his health problems first began, he wrote such a loving and caring message; he always did.

Morning ladies. It is dry and bright here today but a breeze is picking up so it is not as good as yesterday. Smileless2012 you made me laugh about putting the oven on and going off for a walk without putting the chicken in. I occasionally put something into the oven and then forget to turn the gas on, so annoying to go back and find nothing cooked.

I agree with you it is not something you expect even though you've been estranged that the child you have been so close to has no interest in you whatsoever. As a parent it is natural to want to enquire about them and to ever find out that they are unwell it is the one thing even I would do and have done and at times been ignored.

Time for me to go and brave the supermarket as I have been putting it off but now am in need of a stock up of supplies so
out I am going.
All take care.

Morning ladies. Another beautiful sunny morning here.

Mr. S. has a delivery of bedding plants and compost from a local garden centre coming today so that will give him something to do.

I'm sure I'll find something to do, not sure what though apart from my exercises. The days seem to get longer don't they.

Thank you 3nanny.

It's not something you expect even though you've been estranged, that the child you were once so close too no longer has any interest in you whatsoever.

It comes as quite shock when it happens. It's inconceivable to us as their parents, not to enquire after them if we heard they were unwell, even if we believed our enquiry would be ignored, we would ask.

I'm glad you've had some warmto enjoy and relax in.

It sounds as if your weather has been the same as ours hugshelp, lovely and sunny but a decidedly chilly breeze; a good drying day though.

We took our lovely dogs out for a walk in beautiful seclusion, along a river bank. We only discovered it on Friday, less than a 10 minute drive from our home and no one else about.

Arrived home to the lovely aroma of our chicken roasting in the oven. I remember a couple of years ago we went for a lovely walk later one Sunday afternoon and when we got home, I couldn't understand why the house wasn't filled with the aroma of our chicken roasting.

All was revealed when I walked into the kitchen to find the oven on, but the chicken still sat on top of the cooker. Thank goodness our cat hadn't realised it was there.

Afternoon ladies. Wanted to sit out in the garden this afternoon but there's a fierce cold wind blowing. But at least the laundry should benefit - though we needed plenty of storm pegs to ensure it doesn''t sail away.

Take care all. x