AEC thread. Feel free to chat or add helpful resources here.

I always cry for other stuff! Never for me. We have to be our own mums and make sure we have good friends x

I understand ineedamum*. As much as my in laws were good,great in fact, they were never a real mum like I've seen with relatives and friends. I'm like you, independent etc. I also have, probably too much, empathy. I cry at good things happening to people because I'm so happy for them. If you ever don't want to be strong, and at the risk of being forward, PM me and I'll listen. Xx

Thanks Mollymalone6, what I've never ever had in my life is someone to hug me and tell me I'll be OK. I was a mother to my mother.

All my life I've been independent, quiet, and too good a listener, so I'm there for everyone else but nobody is there for me.

Hence the username, I get fed up with being strong all the time

ineedamum, what a statement your name makes. So many of us in that position. When I met my MIL it took a while but she was more of a mum than I could ever wished for. Then her SIL surpassed that! I divorced my then husband many years ago but I'm STILL one of the family. I so hope you have people like that in your life.

Starblaze- how awful to receive that Christmas card. However, it is easier for them to blame you than to look at themselves. x

Oh I get it! Thank you x

FlyingFree just put a * before and after whatever you want in bold, it doesn't tag anyone though

I don't know FlyingFreeI don't know what tagging is; oh dear this is sooo embarrassing!

@Smileless2012 does this work?

I've no idea FlyingFree I'm pretty useless when it comes to all things technical

Aww thank you! How do I tag people like that? x

Hi FlyingFree I haven't seen you post before so welcome to GN.

Easy to say I know but don't feel as if you're a horrible person. As a mum yourself you know how important mum's are in our lives, so you must have your reasons.

I think that doing the things you do, that would have been easier if you'd had your mum at your side, not only makes you stronger but shows how strong you are.

Is that what mum's are supposed to be for? Helping us pull the plough? Maybe pulling it alone makes us stronger than we think ?

Ploughing a path does get lonely at times because it's something only I can do until circumstances arise and others seeing the direction I'm headed lend a hand because they understand - Aside from those times, I'm on me own ..

Hi everyone. I am estranged from my mum and a mum myself. Not a gran (nan) yet. I read through this thread and all the links which took over a week and I wanted to say thank you. I try so hard to feel better about everything and I always just feel like a horrible person in so many ways. I don't know if I will ever really get over it completely. I'm generally a happy optimistic person but sometimes something just sets me off and I feel so depressed and lonely. I'm trying hard to fill my life with good things and good people and I know I am so lucky to have my little family.

Abuse in childhood is a part of our story, a part of who we are; not the sum total of who we are and who we can be.

I started to listen to the book mentioned above ..

This thread, or most of it is kinda lovely!

To all the AC here who experienced childhood abuse and are working hard to overcome it and be the best version of themselves. I think you are truly amazing.

Merry Christmas x

Oh ananimous, I didn't even find my kindle. I will get on it I promise. None of us deserved it.

You deserved so much better than a mother like that @Starblaze. Good idea to burn that hateful card - More power to you. That book I've just finished - "The Body keeps..." What a great, great book!

Having a fire today, the Christmas Card arrived, usual unhelpful guilt trip telling me what a cruel nasty daughter I am for simply wanting to live my life without hurt. I enjoyed watching it burn, it took a weight off my shoulders I didn't know was there.

Lol! I'm a slow reader! Starblaze

I realised today I hadn't finished it, pesky kindle ran out of battery and got put away in a drawer. I'll start it again... Race you!

How spooky! @Starblaze - Just bought: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk - awesome book.