Today I have come across the same theme from EP/EGP's...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vjn-ymF_LGg
This copied from another site:
And they wonder why they're still estranged.
From EP Facebook page.
"I DON’T GIVE A RAT’S (EXPLETIVE) WHAT ADULT ESTRANGED CHILDREN ARE THINKING.
You heard me. That’s a pretty strong statement, and it comes with some pretty strong feelings. After scanning the estrangement pages this morning, I am just so overwhelmed with sadness and anger for parents of EC’s, I needed to say something, and I wanted to make sure everybody heard me... so I put it in all caps.
I come to these communities and what I see are parents of all shapes and sizes with broken hearts pouring their guts out... parents that would do anything to have their children back in their lives. These are not bad people or abusers. These are not battle-hardened narcissists that want their children to suffer as they have. These are good people bearing unimaginable pain and hoping that something... anything they say will open a door and bring their children home.
So, you heard me. I am not interested in understanding adult estranged children.
I “get” them just fine. I don’t care why they do what they do, and I don’t care how unbelievable their actions are. I am not interested in their side of the story, and I am not interested in making them feel better. They are adults, they are creating this situation and they have plenty of “Dump Your Family Now” pages to help them feel better about the choice they have made.
I don’t care what estranged adult children are thinking.
I don’t care if there is a reason for their actions in their mind or not. I don’t care if their behavior is erratic and difficult to understand, or just downright cruel. I don’t care if Mommy and Daddy were imperfect humans and I don’t care if they never got that pony they wanted growing up. When a parent loves, cares, and tries, this stuff is inexcusable.
What I AM interested in is saving lives.
Your lives.
Because this stuff nearly killed me... and make no mistake, it can kill you too. Whether it’s your literal death through suicide, heart problems or diabetes from stress and other diseases, or the figurative death of your soul through long, slow, endless agonizing self- doubt, make no mistake this stuff can kill you.
IF YOU LET IT.
I think most people that know my writings by now know that I am a pretty sensitive person. But I am also unbelievably strong. But I didn’t start out that way... I earned it. through tears, pain and hellfire, I earned it. But the funny thing about hellfire is that it “Tempers” you. It makes you harder and stronger... you go into it red hot, but when you are done pouring a bucket of tears on it, the steel that is left is stronger than ever before. If you haven’t already, you are going to need to learn that strength as well.
I have said it many times. I don’t want any parent to ever go through what I have been through... and still, most of you already have. I was too late. But there is still something I can do. I can say this... over and over until it helps someone...
We all get down and depressed about our children’s choice, but you can’t stay there. You can’t. The world needs you. Stop the questions. You know the ones. We all miss our children. But your job was to raise them... not to die for them. That’s a futile sacrifice that will fall on deaf ears... and frankly, I believe it’s an affront to God to throw away your life... the beautiful gift that has been given you. Stop wasting it pining away for someone that couldn’t care less if you live or die.
I don’t care what estranged adult children are thinking.
BECAUSE ESTRANGEMENT IS ABOUT POWER. You may not understand why your child has chosen to do this. Their reasons may make no sense at all. That’s common, and it’s the most painful part. But you better understand this, and learn it quickly. Estrangement is about one thing. It’s about power and control... and you have two choices: You can either watch your life slip away mired down in those swirling thoughts... Why? What happened? Do they love me? Why won’t they love me? Can you believe this? Well... have you ever seen what happens to toilet water once it gets done swirling around in the bowl?
Or, you can reclaim your power, your life, and your place in this world by saying “Enough kid, I love you, but I have paid enough”.
Who is the parent in this relationship anyway?..."
And another quote from an EP/EGP, "Also, I, for one, cannot find it in myself to proffer a comforting bosom to any wayward daughters/daughters-in-law. However much they regard themselves to be not in the least little bit wayward.
I will always be on the side of their mums/mils's."
How many demonstrations/examples/truths must be cited before My/Our reality is seen?
How paranoid can one get!!
.