Why you might be estranged... aka the same theme/attitude of EP/EGP's that EAC understand.

Thank you ananimous. Hope all goes well Smileless2012 x

I am sure he will be fine Smileless although maybe a little bit groggy after the surgery but the anaesthetic soon wares off and he will be on the mend.

Thanks for asking 3nanny I've just 'phoned the hospital and he's just gone into surgery.

They've told me to 'phone about 5.30 when he should be back on the ward. Feeling rather anxious TBH.

I agree, some threads or comments or shared content should offer a trigger warning-

Actually, all of them-

I validate your abuse totally @Jennifer.

Abuse is wrong. And it's not something to be minimised just for laughs.

Smileless ; thank-you for post , did Mr.S. manage to get off to the hospital hope all is well.

3 - Where's the devil when you need him - Legendary Shack Shakers

2 - If I ever leave this world alive - Flogging Molly

3nannyx

Abuse is always a choice.

Some people need a trigger warning on a thread.

Rosecarmel ; yes I liked the poem or synopsis very good.

Just adding that the door of my mind is open also the door of my heart open to learning and compassion

More so the door and windows of my heart and home and sitting waiting and wondering if somewhere or maybe at sometime the tinkle of laughter that was my grand-children will once again sing out the joy of reconciliation and this estrangement would surely have been a dream and now I am awake and safe once more.

My mother got very good at hiding her abuse as she got older. It became so much more sly and crazy making. Everything she said seemed to have a double meaning so she could deny it later. Scapegoats who have been part of that transition know what is meant by the words because they have heard it and seen it all before. I think abusive people know that if they carry on with the most damaging behaviours they will get caught or they will lose everyone and everything in time so they just get crafy. The scapegoats who escape know the truth though x

I'm game; can't be any worse than some of the links and assumptions being made on this thread.

Yes? Ok, I'll start ..

1 - Chop Suey - System of a Down

I'd be more than happy to contribute to putting together a dark playlist if anyone is game!

Yennifer your last post did not make a lot of sense also I did not minimize or shame any abuse victims. O kay I gather you do not want to answer any questions I asked of you in my post that is your own choice.

What behaviour are you actually talking about that I need to apologise for? do you mean the behaviour of asking you a few reasonable questions?

O ne last thing I have never denied that child abuse takes place why do you think that the N.S.P.C.C. is such a big organisation? that's what they deal with on a daily basis.

1902 17.36 Chewbacca ...good synopsis. Made common sense reading! [smile}

"So I definitely believe EP's that believe/know their DiL is abusive to their son. Abusers can spot each other the same way they can see potential victims."

HolyHannah, you present a significant observation .. one that anyone could see, should they be inclined ..

Please Call Me By My True Names
By Thich Nhat Hanh

Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow— even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving to be a bud on a Spring branch, to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings, learning to sing in my new nest, to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower, to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry, to fear and to hope. The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death of all that is alive.

I am a mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river. And I am the bird that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am a frog swimming happily in the clear water of a pond. And I am the grass-snake that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones, my legs as thin as bamboo sticks. And I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat, who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea pirate.

And I am also the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my hands. And I am the man who has to pay his “debt of blood” to my people dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth. My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names, so I can hear all my cries and laughter at once, so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names, so I can wake up and the door of my heart could be left open, the door of compassion.

Your words 3nanny6 "what supposedly happened to some of these EC" at this point I don't think I owe you anything more. It happened, that's the truth. I haven't ever questioned any of you on anything and just taken your word as truth. Abusive parents exist and demeaning, not believing, minimising and shaming abuse victims is not on at all. My abuse was not as bad as some but enough to justify estrangement by the word of my doctors and counsellor. I am completely at peace with my decision to estrange. Best thing I could have ever done for me and my children and we are all happier for it. My existing does not take away from you or your situation so why continue this behaviour at all? Why never apologise for your behaviour? That's not my problem I'm afraid but I hope you can move past your own pain and see that of others in time x

Did not deny your abuse and not being cruel just asked you some perfectly reasonable questions and now you are accusing me of abuse oh well like I said you love to close people down and you have a narrow mind and only want one opinion and that is yours, no I do not have issues thanks a lot, and although reality can be painful I face it every day rather than live a distorted view of lies and anything else.

How often did you move? and also I did not call you a liar. If my DGC came to me with something about abuse I would believe them and make sure I done something about it.
T he thing is Yennifer you just close down as I wanted to say that you yourself could have approached a teacher or someone you trusted at school and told them what was happening or perhaps your mother did not send you to school either. Just asking.

It was in a British newspaper. Do only non Brits abuse children? Come on. This is a horrible attitude to have to someone who has experienced abuse. I'm very much moving past my issues but I think you have more issues than I do if you would rather deny my abuse and be cruel to me than face reality x

Yennifer that post you gave was for New Mexico do you go on the internet and trawl around for horrible cruelty cases? now you are a grown woman with your own children you need to come to terms with your past seek the happiness you are entitled to just like everyone else and move forward into a better life.

We moved a lot, that's why my abuse was not picked up. I'm not going to defend myself further. I think comments from Yogagirl and 3nanny6 calling me a liar are really awful. Again would you not believe your own DGC?