I’ve known for months that my younger daughter was deliberately avoiding her only daughter (and three young grandchildren) and had been running out of excuses to make light of this when granddaughter kept asking me whether I’d heard from her mum or knew why mum wouldn’t answer her calls and hadn’t responded to things like photos of the grandchildren posted on FB. But this afternoon we had a rare visit from our daughter (who always seems angry) - mainly to use our printer - and found out that daughter has turned her back entirely on both our grandaughter and her children. So no Xmas presents for any of them. When I mentioned that granddaughter had a cash present waiting to give to her youngest brother, 13, my daughter retorted that the present wasn’t wanted and was pointless because granddaughter would never see her brother again. I was completely stunned.
My granddaughter has always had a difficult) relationship with her mother, starting from the very young age of 2 or 3, and has spent a lot of her life with us as a result. But she has always wanted a proper mother/daughter relationship and has always hoped that one day that would happen. Neither daughter nor granddaughter are robust mentally and I’m very worried about having to pass this news on to my granddaughter so near to Xmas and Aldo so near to her becoming a single parent after the breakdown of her 10 year partnership with her children’s father.
A large part of me thinks that perhaps estrangement will be better in the long run than an up down, up down relationship with her mother who has certainly not be a consistent positive force in her life but I know my granddaughter will be heartbroken at the news, especially for her three beautiful children who are now rejected by their maternal grandmother. And at Xmas.
What would you do?
I’m due to go with granddaughter tomorrow to help get the rest of her Xmas presents, one of which was to be for her mother.
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