Estranged From Grandchildren At Christmas

Thank you for sharing that lovely poem MBM I have to say it brought tears to my eyes.

I am so sorry your pain, please accept my sincere condolences for the recent loss of your brother.

In your position, I would continue to have what little contact you can with your GC. We have non whatsoever with ours.

Take care of yourself and now you've posted here know that we are here for you when ever you need to talk x.

MBM I echo what Smileless has said. Try to keep the small amount of contact you have with your grandchildren, it will help them to know that you still care.
Have a peaceful Christmas.

MBM I'm so glad you found the energy to post that lovely poem.

I think you must consider your health first.
Secondly if you can keep up contact with the GC for as long as possible it would probably turn out to be a good thing, because as soon as your daughter wants to end it, end it she will. Unfortunately (as you have come to see) she holds the power in this situation.

What ever the gc home life is like good bad or complicated is out of your control, so don't let that influence your decision whether to keep in contact or not.

Hope you are feeling well for Christmas and the New year.

First, my heart goes out to you, MBM. So deeply sorry about your MS - and about this estrangement from your daughter. While I'm glad you get some contact via XSIL, I'm sorry it causes conflict. Lots of hugs!

Oh, meant to say - beautiful choice of poem! Thanks for sharing!

Are you sending these cards to your GDs or just saving them in case you ever get to see them in person? If you send them, will it be to your ED's (estranged daughter's) house or XSIL's?

Also deeply sorry about the loss of your DB (dear brother).... sigh...

As for whether or not you should keep up contact w/ your GDs, I think it all depends on whether or not you feel the good outweighs the bad for them - and for you. If the conflict over the FaceTiming impacts the girls, then perhaps it's better to let that go or just leave it up to XSIL's judgment. He'll probably know better than you when it's a good time or not. Then again, is trying to maintain contact too stressful for your condition? Or would not seeing or hearing from your GDs cause worse stress, etc? Only you can really answer these questions. I hope you can figure out what's best for you, your GDs and your wonderful DH (kudos to him!).

You should definately keep in contact with your grandchildren. I was kept away from 5 of my grandchildren at Christmas and for the last 6 months but now I used McKenzie friend(which I’ve now trained for) and I got regular access and phone calls so it’s definately worth thinking about and at a fraction of the cost of a solicitor

Sandmb, are you saying that you took the parents to court for visitation rights and you won? We GPs don't hear that very often. If you don't mind my asking, did both parents want the estrangement or did they disagree? (I ask b/c Ive heard it's easier if the parents aren't united in this.) Or did you have a strong relationship w/ the GC before the CO (cut off)? Anyhow, enjoy your visits and phone calls with your GC!

Hi yes I did take both parents and they are saying they are united in their decision. Yes I did everything for them as the whole family lived with me so I was close with the grandchildren. It is becoming a lot more common now for grandparents to have access and they say you may have fallen out with the parents but the children deserve to have their grandparents in their lives. It’s scary but I did it and proud of myself because I’m now seeing them again so if you’ve lost your grandchildren think about it seriously and the way I saw it if I had lost the children when they’re older will know I tried my hardest to see them but family courts are ok. When I was there there was 3 other grandparent cases and we all won. Thank you I will enjoy my time