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Help!!! with Grandparents rights

(26 Posts)
Aries73 Fri 31-Jan-20 19:22:28

Hi all im in desperate need of advice regarding my granddaughter I keep asking but don't get any help..To cut it short my granddaughter was taken into foster care from her auntys due to behaviour problems social services said it was only way to get her help which I was mortified to hear..before this she used to stay with us once a month as I stayed in contact with her aunty...then I hurd last year she was going up for adoption I messaged her social worker to ask how she was and if I could see her he said no an that it was upto her adoptive parents and that was end of I've been looking for advice but no one ever gets back to heart is broken and unable to get it out of my head that she must think I've abandoned her an wonder where I am why would they just stop her seeing the only family member on my side that bothers to want her in my life..if my health was better I'd have had her myself...I don't see my daughter anymore (mother of my grandchildren) we ended on bad terms... I would be grateful of any help and advice if there's anything I can do about this social services have not contacted me about the ins and outs of my granddaughters life it's just so wrong and unfair I thought it would be in the child's interest to be in contact with family...

Callistemon Fri 31-Jan-20 19:52:34

I have no experience in this area, Aries but didn't want to just read and run.

How old your DGD? Perhaps the SS think she needs a period of calm at the moment.

I hope someone will be along to offer more expert advice soon.


M0nica Fri 31-Jan-20 20:04:34

Have you consulted your local Citizen's Advice Centre.

Can you afford legal advice? A solicitor specialising in child custody issues will be able to advise you what to do.

bingo12 Fri 31-Jan-20 21:37:01

Ask your MP? I think they always answer.

Smileless2012 Fri 31-Jan-20 21:50:14

MOnica's advice is spot on Aries. If you can afford legal advice from a solicitor who specialises in child custody issues, that is the best way to go.


Floradora9 Fri 31-Jan-20 22:32:35

If the adoption has gone through I doubt you will get any contact . Most adoptions are a clean break and the parents , if involved, have a last goodbye to the child knowing that will be final one . Sad but true.

Hetty58 Fri 31-Jan-20 22:44:21

Social workers rarely approve of family members fostering or adopting. You may have to accept that she belongs to a new family now. She'll be able to trace her natural family when she's 18.

Sussexborn Fri 31-Jan-20 23:00:14

Bibbity Fri 31-Jan-20 23:43:16

Has the adoption been completed?

Hithere Fri 31-Jan-20 23:50:44

You need a lawyer

Starlady Sat 01-Feb-20 03:47:24

No advice, just hugs!

Starlady Sat 01-Feb-20 03:50:30

Oh, and I wouldn't worry about GD feeling you've abandoned her. I'm sure she has asked about you and her adoptive parents give her kind and reasonable answers.

NotSpaghetti Sat 01-Feb-20 06:50:39

If the adoption has already happened you are sadly too late I think. It does take a relatively long time to get to that point though... when did you last see her?

TwiceAsNice Sat 01-Feb-20 08:23:05

Adoptions take time. If it hasn’t happened yet if SS are still saying you can have no contact you could ask if you can write her a letter so she knows you still care about her. According to what her age is they may not give it to her immediately but it will be given to her when she is 18

If you feel you still have time to fight this a family law solicitor is the only way to go

Iam64 Sat 01-Feb-20 09:17:10

It isn't true that 'social workers rarely approve of family members adopting or fostering'. The Children Act and guidance is clear, that if children can't live with their birth parents, the Children and Families department must look first to family members. If this adoption has gone through, there will have been lengthy care proceedings and the Judge will most certainly have asked about the possibility of relative carers.
Aries73 , look at the Family Rights group on the internet. Also, if you can afford it, see a solicitor who specialises in family law. Best of luck

Sandmb Tue 10-Mar-20 19:07:03

Hi if you can’t afford a solicitor ring a McKenzie friend. I’ve just done training and they can help you

elana909 Sun 15-Mar-20 15:55:35

Hi all,
I just need to know exactly what rights the maternal grandmother has just to have visitation rights to their grandchildren. I have read so much information, some sites say none, others say the courts would very unlikely refuse visitation to see their grandchildren. Its all so very confusing. I have set up a mediation meeting next week which is again what some sites say you have to do first, I already know my daughter and her partner won't attend any mediation so it's £72 down the drain but again it's what I've read a person has to do firstly. I would greatly appreciate any advice, thankyou all

ILE35 Sun 15-Mar-20 16:23:36


My understanding is grandparents, maternal or paternal don't have any rights. However if you are able to prove you've had a close relationship with your grandchild and that not having contact would be of detriment to them then you can be awarded contact with them if things go through court etc.

To OP, I've no advice when it comes to adoption but my heart hurts for you and I hope one day you are reunited with your granddaughter. Hugs x

EllanVannin Sun 15-Mar-20 16:39:12

Aries if your health had been up to scratch you could have gone down the fostering road. It would have depended on accommodation, how many bedrooms you have and the age of the child in question in conjunction with your ability to look after him/her and see to the schooling. Older children are usually given the option of grandparent/s before care home.

Adoption isn't always the last straw providing that the mother isn't abusive or neglectful towards the child

elana909 Mon 16-Mar-20 13:07:41

Thankyou for your reply to my question. I have been in my granddaughters life since birth, she is now 3 years old. I'm all she has by way of a grandparent. Her grandad passed away before she was born and my granddaughters grandparents on her fathers side have zero contact with her so I'm actually all she has. I'm going to mediation first visit today for them to invite my daughter and partner but I'm not holding my breath so next stage would be court. Will see today what happens but thankyou again for your comments...

Namsnanny Mon 16-Mar-20 13:36:34

elena909 ... wishing you luck today.
If you feel like it please come back and let us know how it

Aries73 ... good luck to you also.

Smileless2012 Mon 16-Mar-20 13:42:38

Just wanted to wish you luck too elenaflowers

Sussexborn Mon 16-Mar-20 13:48:09

My DD2 adopted last year and she arranged to meet the birth family through official channels. Our new GS didn’t attend but the parents were reassured that he is loved and happy. Children are only removed from the parents as a last resort so at least you know she is now safe and being well cared for.

elana909 Tue 17-Mar-20 14:13:04

Hi all, I attended mediation yesterday and the lady was very nice. After explaining the situation she asked if I wanted her to write to my daughter inviting her and her partner to a mediation session, first off alone and then a further meeting with all present. She stated should she not receive a reply after 2 weeks then she would give me the necessary forms to file with the courts but I would first have to ask leave off the courts first. It cost me £72, so now I just have to wait the 2 weeks, will keep everybody updated...

elana909 Wed 18-Mar-20 10:34:21

Go on a website families need fathers, When I had an uphill battle with my son of another of my grandchildren they were brilliant. They have McKenzie friends on there and tons of advice for grandparents, the site isn't just for fathers. I gained that much knowledge from this site I didnt need a solicitor but just represented myself in court. My son did get a solicitor, and between the two of us we managed to gain custody of my grandaughter away from her abusive mother. She was 5 years old and my son still has her thankgod. There is a membership fee of £30 this was cost 6 years ago but it is so worth it for the wealth of information they hold, forms to use, how you word things in legal jargon, well worth a look.