Struggling Sundays

Is it worth changing your routine on a Sunday? maybe do something you've always wanted to do but haven't got round to? Mixing it up a bit might fool your body/mind. Well done for ditching the abusive relationship. 20 years is certainly long enough to put up with it. Wish you well x

o.k slightly off track, but lack of sleeping, and some of you suggest youtube etc... so some people suggest that blue light, ie. computers? can affect sleep, so how does one watch/listen to youtube, white noise etc. to help sleep when the blue light is , apparently , counter productive?

Annaram1 Im not going to explain too much to you but my mum is abusive and she's definitely not upset! I think 20 years of my adult life trying to have a good relationship with her was enough for anyone and if it was fixable it would have happened x

You don't say f your mother is alive or not. If she is, I would suggest contacting her and just talk about what issues you both have. Once you and she have made up you will be able to sleep better. She is probably upset also, and she is getting on in age and may not be around much longer.

Thank you so much! I just mentioned it to the doctor and she said that Sunday insomnia is really common. A lot of people stress about the work week ahead but over time it becomes more worry about not sleeping which stops sleeping! She said as long as I sleep well the rest of the week my body won't mind. She also said to try the breathing techniques for panic attacks. Well we had a little celebration because I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack! It's also been 4 years off antidepressants and 2 since she prescribed anxiety medication, I still have some unused in the cupboard! I feel so so pleased and I'm going to definitely take all your advice too x

I feel for you

Counselling should really really really help disconnecting Sunday from such negative memories

In the immediate term though, start making Sundays the best day of the week. Make it a real treat day for you

Yennifer, from other posts I know you have a lot of issues, I too am estranged from my mother, but it’s only ever given me a wonderful sense of freedom, I always hated visiting, and I love that I don’t have to do it anymore.

Even so, nothing is quite that simple, I know that you can’t walk away from a lifetime of issues, I think you just have to be patient, and be kind to yourself, spend Sunday doing something really nice. You are free don’t forget.

You might also try listening to ASMR videos. Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, or ASMR, is a tingling sensation that some people experience, usually going down the back of their scalp and/or neck. Many people find it very relaxing. It's usually triggered by sounds such as tapping or whispering, or by personal attention, such as having one's hair done or having makeup applied or a beauty treatment. YouTube has dozens of ASMRtists who create videos, some just individual triggers, others role plays of personal attention. Emma Whispersred (whose channel is called Whispersred ASMR) has written a book about ASMR, available on Amazon. I use it to help me sleep and relax.

That sounds a good idea xx

I have had counselling but not for very long, after we had talked it all through she said I was doing well and she had no concerns, they are very busy too I guess. She did say to come back if I needed support again so maybe I could ask. I've always been rubbish at meditation as I'm a fidgit but I will try again, thank you Nezumi65. A friend just suggested white noise and I will try that too. I remember my littlest baby had a toy that played white noise and it was so soothing that I missed it when he went to his own room lol x

Have you tried melatonin?

It might be worth a go, but if sleeping tablets haven’t worked may not help much.

Have you had counselling? It sounds like unresolved trauma or something similar. If you don’t want to go down that route (understandable) then maybe mediation might help. There are apps that can help with that (look at mindfulness ones) or lots of meditation classes around these days. Might be worth a go?