Yennifer
You poor girl. I do sympathise from the bottom of my heart. It is interesting that I never managed to let my hair grow long until after my mother died.
People will come up with many sleep ideas. Mine are often the opposite, strangely, as I have trouble at night. My first piece of advice is - if what you are trying doesn't work stop doing it.
Next, don't fight not sleeping. If you are awake, then just be content to read, watch TV, have a milky drink, do anything peaceful that passes the time, preferably while in bed. Many people will not advise this btw. But it works for me. It calms me and makes bed the place I enjoy and not the place I lie and worry in. Nobody died of lack of sleep and one night of less sleep than usual won't make much difference to you unless you spend that night in an anxious and fretful state.
During the day write all the things your mother did to control you in a list, leaving a blank at the top. Then at the top write "But I am my own mother now and All these things are over" and with a black marker cross them out so you can't read them. If possible burn them. (Use a match and drop the paper in the sink)
Have a little mantra to hum in your head to your own little cherry tune, with your own words along these lines:
"I'm in charge of me now,
I'm the mum round here.
What I say goes.
I give myself permission to be happy and have fun.
I only do what I say".
Or anything like that which means something to you. Don't use negatives though, i.e. do not say "my mother does not control me' or wtte. Always be positive and keep it short. Keep this little ditty or mantra going in your head as often as you can. Do it when you are going to sleep. It may take 40 days of re-educating your brain that this is the case. That is generally accepted to be the time it takes to make a memory a permanently placed change in our brain. (Look up "long term potentiation"). After that, top-ups are always useful.
I wish you every blessing and really do understand what having a forceful mother is like. Mine made me marry a 32 year old man when I was 19, he was a psychopathic narcissist. She was a narcissist. These types can really get inside you and it takes a concerted program of actively replacing what they did to you to change the automatic patterns of fear that recur in your brain because of the many years of their abuse.
You can do it. It works.
with all my love, Elle x ???