What EP's need to hear from a fellow Estranged Parent.

My mother still believes her reasons for estrangement even tho I told her all of mine and she has them in writing lol x

Smileless -- Yes. Because I'm an EAC I am going to believe my reality and the reality of most EAC children -- That we came from dysfunctional/abusive families.

I am not going to be gaslighted by anyone who says, "You had a wonderful childhood! You selfish, narcissistic brat! How dare you!?!? Is this because I didn't get you a pony when you were ten???"

"Yeah... This is about me not getting a pony at age 10." -- which is all sarcasm and comes with a free eye-roll.

If you looked at some sites for EP's I'm sure like me you'd be shocked at some of the trivial reasons given for estrangement.

It's extremely unlikely if not impossible that any EAC would admit to estranging their parent(s) for something so trivial or for many of the trivial reasons mentioned, but it happens whether you chose to believe it or not. It makes no difference to me.

Yennifer -- EP's make up reasons that their children have estranged and then they support each others stories. The reasons EP's THINK their children have estranged over are not FACTUALLY the reasons... If EP's were correct, they would be able to find corresponding EAC who say what they are saying.

Smileless told us. Her only 'proof' that EAC do so over something as absurd as not getting a pony are EP's.

I read the posts in a group of over 8 thousand ACs who have problems with their mothers, some estranged and some not. None ever mention anything so trivial x

I wasn't suggesting there was anything hidden in your words Yennifer. One way to avoid arguments and pointless arguments is stop reading into other people's posts thing that aren't there.

Only one EAC that I'm aware of, told their parent about not having a pony HolyHannah; could well have been the only
one, who can say.

It's true that once you're free of a toxic person in your life, the rest follow and sadly, also that those you love, who've been unduly influenced by that toxic person, leave your life too.

Also my comments were deleted simply for speaking of other posts. Not due to breaking any other rule. I always forget that rule.

There is a lot of narcissists out there right now, cut off from their scapegoats or other means of gaining attention except the internet. Watch them become viler and viler and play bigger and bigger victim while the pandemic has the rest of us trying to look out for each other. They may as well be a different breed of human entirely.

Motherofdragons -- If an EP says the Earth is flat, it now is. Because they say EAC do so for failure to get a pony that is now 'fact'. Absurd is not quite a strong enough word.

What is shocking is that beyond lack of reflection the idea/belief that what they say becomes 'fact' when they can't find an example to prove their 'fact'. It's, "My word and the word of other EP's is 'enough'. Why wont YOU believe Us???"

The answer is because I am an EAC and I've met plenty. I've never met one that says they estranged over which private school they did or did not go to, a pony or anything so ridiculous.

Saying that I'm not friends with that type of person

Absolutely!

Once you cut one toxic person out of your life, the rest follow.

Always tell my friends if they are out of order. Not going to clap them on if they randomly punch someone in the face for no reason so why would I do it for them being verbally abusive and hurting someone that way? Saying that I'm not friends with that type of person x

Well I'm in a tough position really Smileless2012 because I saw you send the flowers and the lovely supportive comments to people right after they were nasty to me

Yep. I seen that too.

And nasty isn’t even the correct word. Yogagirl’s comments about carrots were pure vile. It was a shocking post to read. That post was the definition of abusive.

I always wanted a pony and never had one

That is outrageous. Truly outrageous.

I don’t think anyone actually believes someone would cut their parents out of their lives for something like this. Any sane person can see the absurdity of that statement.

All I ever read on the estrangement threads is that parents have no idea why they have been cut off. And if they do know why they have been cut off, it is always for made up reasons like this one.

Zero self reflection at all.

No ability to take any responsibility.

Outrageous!

Smileless -- "Other EP's are my source HolyHannah; their experiences."

So you are saying that other EP's say that children have estranged because they didn't get a pony and that is your 'proof'?

Real proof is finding an EAC who says that's why they estranged and not more dysfunctional ramblings of other EP's.

You can't find EAC who did so because they didn't get a pony because they are as rare as the lady who wrote the article if they exist at all.

Sorry I've got no idea what you are talking about Smileless2012. Not anything hidden in my words. Am. OK with being wrong and admitting it. Not able to speak for anyone else anyway so take your issues up with them. Only you and Starblaze getting deleted, not the rest of us. Just want to let it go thanks. Its Saturday and I'm working, trying to source things we need at school. Won't be getting any of my usual holiday. Don't want my breaks to be filled with animosity or pointless arguing. Take care x

Of course it's OK to be wrong Yennifer, we're all wrong sometimes but that doesn't mean we have to say we are when we're not.

Am wrong sometimes Smileless2012, it's OK to be wrong sometimes x

Other EP's are my source HolyHannah; their experiences.

Whether you agree with me or not is immaterial, it doesn't alter what some have experienced.

Smileless -- If you can cite a source where EAC have said they estranged for any of the reasons you listed or anything similar, I will apologize and agree with you. Cite a source that is not just other EP's speculating on why EAC go No Contact.

If you cannot cite a source then I have to believe your 'fact' is indeed not true and trying to sell something that is not true as "fact" is gas-lighting.

Also, other then you not agreeing with what I post, feel free to provide sources that refute what I am saying. You say I am gas-lighting you. What am I saying that is untrue that I am trying to 'sell' as 'fact'?

It looks as if you were wrong Yennifer and not everyone is over it or prepared to let it go.

Yennifer have you ever heard of narcissistic rage? It doesn't really matter to them that you feel hurt by their behaviour, or that you are justified to feel that way. They will rage on and on and HATE you for pointing out even the smallest flaw. They will never look within themselves to see where the fault comes from. They will never ever see your hurt. They will hold a grudge and never let go, even though they will pretend to at times, just so you let your guard down.

With a narcissist we could be going through a global disaster where millions could die across the world, everyone living under extreme stress and people bravely putting themselves on the front lines for the vulnerable. Yet a narcissist will put their wounded pride above it all. The rage unstoppable.

Oh yes, that is actually what is happening isn't it.

OP is clearly not a narcissist and that was why she was able to put so much right. Other estranged parents may not be narcissists too and may be able to hear her, but I am willing to bet most were able to put it right before estrangement became permanent.

Much love fellow estranged children. I'm sorry estranged parents here cannot hear you and repeat past patterns. Your strength in overcoming your childhoods and wounds will serve you well at this time.

Why bring it up again then Yennifer?

Think everyone's over it Smileless2012, time to let it go x

Not a problem Starblaze x