SUPPORT for all living with the pain of estrangement

Hello 3nanny I'm glad your tomato plants have survived the downpour. It's annoying isn't it when we get our plants doing well and then we get bad weather.

It's lovely and sunny here but so chilly.

Good Morning ladies, I have not posted for a few days just giving myself time to catch up with things around the house and enjoyed some of the gloomy weather. In all honesty we got away with lots of rain but had a loud thunderstorm on Saturday minus the rain which was strange to say the least.
My tomato plants are still standing tall despite the downpour of yesterday so its all good for me.
Aquamarine ; pleased you found help with the Standalone charity I have heard of them and they do hold workshops in various locations perhaps you could get to one if you are near them. In fact I think they are holding some on-line due to coronavirus maybe give it a try.
Smileless you have David Bowie in common with my eldest daughter she has loads of his music and did have a big poster on the wall of him but the nieces kept asking who it was and my daughter did not like telling them he had died so she took it down. I like some of his music unfortunately he was never one of my favourites.
Starblaze what lovely little kittens! it is the pets and little creatures that make this a more bearable world.
Take care All.

Sorry you had a tearful day yesterday Aquamarine I hope you're feeling a little better today. You're doing well, 'hanging in there' isn't always easy but you can do it, and we're all here to help if you need us.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202006/medium-381661-0ee937ca-466f-4c0a-9d85-e80902458d3a.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202006/medium-645383-e2198219-a136-4ae3-8da2-9be83e4471d6.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202006/medium-816696-65aafdf4-a9b1-4bfb-b248-67e02b9206f0.jpeg

Here’s 3 of our 4 Bowie, prints, hugshelp.

I'm still estranged. Gave up on hope , but found great help from Standalone a charity for people estranged Parents/children.
Also listen to Joshua Coleman an American Psychologist, google him.
Had a terrible tearful day yesterday , so just hanging in there ladies , just....

@Smileless - the headbands agnurse suggests can easily be found in shops selling ski gear, as a lot of people wear them on the slopes.

Thanks for the info agnurse I'll have a look on line. We now live on the East Coast and when it's windy here I can't go out when it's chilly without my ear muffs.

When my dearest friend who lives in the South comes to stay, she always jokes that if I wear my muffs, she'll walk behind me so people don't know we're together!

It must be an age thing. I remember as a young woman, going out with girl friends in flimsy outfits in the middle of winter without a coat.

I don't feel that I'm getting older; maybe my ears are older than the rest of me.

Smileless

I do not know if they're available in the UK, but I know that here in Canada you can sometimes find warm headbands. They're specifically intended to keep your ears warm. Basically they consist of a band of cloth, something usually made of a knit fabric, that fits around your head and over your ears. They resemble the cloth headbands that some women wear to hold their hair back, but they're made of a knit fabric for warmth. If you can get something like that you may find it more comfortable and fashionable than wearing ear muffs.

Oh isn't she clever hugshelp. We have 3 pictures at home and one at the lodge. I'll get Mr. S. to take photo's of the ones here tomorrow and put them on here so you can see them.

DS thinks I'm obsessed with him (Bowie, not Mr. S.).

I get ear ache if its windy so wear ear muffs. Not the most flattering things to wear but better than ear ache. It's been horrible here today but not as windy as we thought it would be so apart from losing a couple of pansies, the plants have survived.

The days seem to drag even more when the weather's bad and it's not that good a forecast for the rest of the week.

Oh goodness, you really are a Bowie Fan smiles I am so jealous. I never did see him live, just collected all the records and posters etc.
And my DD painted me this one year which I have in my lounge>
And yes, I'm a bit fed up of this weather now. We popped over to DD's with a bit of baking I did today and we sat on our car bonnet chatting but golly it was chilly - the wind gave me earache because I forgot to take a hat.

I think the weather's forgotten that it's June!! It's horrible here this morning, rain, wind and decidedly chilly so not even a walk is in the offing to break the tedium of the restrictions.

Yesterday really dragged and I've a feeling today will be the same but at least we have our facetime conversation with DS in Aus. to look forward too providing he's there and the weather isn't playing havoc with his internet.

Hope the weather is better where you are and there's at least one thing you have to look forward too.

Hi silverbirch and welcome to GN and our support thread.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I take it from your post that you're still seeing your son and GC which is a good thing and something you need to try and hang on too. As long as there is some contact, there's a chance that things may improve.

Your son must be aware of his wife's treatment of you which is bound to put him on edge when you visit. Do they live near by? If so, would it be possible once the restrictions have been lifted, for you to take your GC out for a short time? That would at least be less stressful for you and your son.

If you do think it may be an option, I'd advise you to mention it to your son and d.i.l. when they're together, and not just ask your son.

We've been estranged from our youngest son and only GC for more than 7 years. We were cut out when our eldest GC was 8 months old so never really got to know him and have never known his brother.

We had a very close relationship with our ES, I was particularly close to him but that changed once his first child was born.

My heart goes out to you and all GP's who feel they're being pushed out of not just their adult child's life, but the lives of the GC they've come to know and love. We were saved that pain at least.

None of us know how to deal with this but somehow we do. Take each day as it comes and don't worry about how much you cry. I know it can make you feel pretty awful but it's the body and mind's way of releasing some of the pain that you're feeling. It really is better out than in.

I do hope you'll stay in touch with us on this thread. It was a support thread for estranged parents and GP's that first brought me to GN and provided me with a much needed life line. That was 7 years ago and I'm still here!

It's good to know that you're not alone because until you share with others, who then share with you, you think you are, and that makes it even harder to deal with.

Wow, nearly 8 miles Madgran that's good going. You and your D must have had a lot to natter about. I'm pleased you had such a lovely time.

Well I'm not at all surprised you're a Bowie fan hughelp, I always suspected you had extremely good taste. Did you ever see him live? I was so lucky and saw him 8 times and what a fabulous experience it was each time. First time in 1974 when I was 14 at the old Wembley Arena in London.

Seems like a life time ago; I suppose it was. If only I'd known then what I know now; probably just as well I didn't.

Starblaze

Your babies are stunning! They look so soft!

What beautiful cats starblaze
Oh I'm a fellow Bowie Fan smiles - a drive then a takeaway sounds lovely.
That's an impressive leg-stretch madgran - sounds lovely, chatting all that time.

Welcome silverbirch29. I don't know what advice to offer. I'm afraid my son has gone totally non-contact. I used to walk on eggshells with him but clearly I got it wrong. There are other people in situations a little closer to your own, especially with the being pushed out by the partner thing, so do hang around, hopefully you will get lots of helpful thoughts.
But for now can I just say you're not alone, and we all know how horrible it is to lose that closeness.

Hi i joined today and wondered if I could get advice. I am the mother of one son who has gone on to have two lovely children. My son and I used to be very close. I feel that I have been pushed out of his life and my grandchildren’s. I never know whether I will be ignored by his wife and it has made me feel very low over the last three years. I don’t know how to deal with this as I spend most of my days crying. It’s supposed to be a joyous time having grandchildren but for my I feel heartbroken that it is made difficult for me to see them. my son always seems on edge when I do visit.

The drive sounds nice Smileless. I went walking with my daughter today ...ended up doing nearly 8 miles cos we were nattering!

I can't send pictures in a message so this is the proof I was asked for, I don't lie! lol

How strange Starblaze They are very cute. I like cats but I always wish that they could stay as kittens which are just adorable.

Just got back from a lovely drive though the country side; I was bored. Really enjoyed it with David Bowie blaring so I asked Mr. S. if he thought I'd still enjoy listening to Bowie blaring when I'm 70, he said he was sure I would which was good news for me.

Waiting for an Indian takeaway to be delivered with a glass of then find something good to watch on Netflix. Not a bad life is it.

Oh a private message. There are some rather unpleasant posters on GN aren't there.

In a message? I keep saying so. In my inbox

Sorry I'm still confused. If this is the only thread you've posted a picture on, where did someone's name you don't recognise ask you for proof giving you the impression that they thought you were lying?

What are you talking about Smileless? This is the only thread I've posted a picture on so I posted the other picture here too after a message. I don't mind really anyway, they do look too good to be true!

Sorry Madgran, they are just stunning from any angle but were a bit scared of the new surroundings and stayed still a moment

Well as it clearly wasn't anyone on this thread, I don't understand why you'd bring it up especially as your post followed a complementary one.

I won't embarrass them by naming them but not a name I recognised

who has asked you for proof or accused you of lying for goodness sake lol?