Depression and Anxiety

For goodness sake not this again. Who is invalidating your experience? Why can't see the expression of a different point of view as simply that, without taking it as a personal slight and/or invalidation?

I'm more than happy to agree to disagree, just wish you could do so without making everything personal.

Smileless you have said how you feel, and I have said how I feel and my reasons behind it. You can argue further and invalidate my experience and my feelings or you can agree to disagree and move on.

It's just a saying.

Surely everyone 'suffers' during their life time to varying degrees of course; some far more than others.

When someone's been able to develop and/or identify healthy coping mechanisms, those are the tools that are worth sharing. Of course what works for one doesn't always work for another.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stranger"; I prefer makes you stronger.

I prefer "what doesn't kill you makes you stranger"

No i don't agree with that because not all coping mechanisms people develop are healthy ones.

Besides, I should never have been abused in order to suffer in the first place thus having tools to deal with it now.

Also those tools I have are not quite the right ones, this is a vastly different situation.

It just hurts my heart knowing so many are suffering right now and I hope together we can put together a tool box and help each other through it.

That's why although some don't agree, I believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You can look back at how you've dealt with particularly difficult and painful situations and draw strength and confidence form those experiences.

Harris27 don't be afraid to talk about it. Is there anyone you can open up to? We are also here for each other

I know how you feel starblaze and can remonstrate with all you have written. Every day I struggle with some form of anxiety with no one knowing how hard it is. But this situation has made me a lot worse emotionally and financially. I keep telling myself this time will pass but it seems to have gone on a long time. Music knitting reading and my garden is helping and praying one day this will all be over.

I feel as though I might have an advantage over many in this time as I have beaten these feelings before.

So many will be suffering this for the first time during lockdown. Especially our age group who have never had to live under this level of fear before.

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone Smileless

PS just wondering as a "random internet stranger" and a poster I don't ever recall see here on GN before, how you 'know' I tell my story "over & over & over".

Because my personal story shows that I am over it a much as anyone can be BucGirl.

The best thing anyone can do is look at the positives in their lives, see when it happens that a negative can lead to a positive you'd never have imagined.

There a a lot of GP's understandably becoming increasingly upset and frustrated because they can't have physical contact with their GC. Because we don't and never had a relationship with our GC, we've been spared that upset and frustration.

Recognising how far you've come is far from dwelling on the past, it's showing how you've not allowed your past to dictate your future.

I've slowed down a little, I'm not setting myself ridiculous amounts of daily goals and spending more time relaxing which is helping

I only cope by taking it day by day and I absolutely avoid any talk of how long it will be before we are through it. I don’t watch the news either. I try to think of small pleasures eg a bowl of cashews with my glass of wine, my daily walk.

SmileLESS you always tell your personal story when making a comment? Why do you do this? You say you are over the estrangement yet you tell the story over & over & over...that in and of itself kinda shows you are dwelling on the past. I dunno just an observation from a rando internet stranger.

ladymuck -- I too have dealt with agoraphobia and most people just don't understand. Stay strong.

Have fun with your Terry Brooks. I enjoyed those books immensely.

I suffer with agoraphobia and normally only go out when I have no choice. I've been unable to get a supermarket delivery and am being forced to get my groceries from the small local shops. I can just about manage that, even though they don't sell everything I need.
One of the things I'm planning to do is go into the local shopping precinct while the shops are closed, and there are few people about. I've lived here for several years but have never ventured in there because there are always crowds of people about.
I'm keeping myself occupied with crossstitch and reading the complete Shannara saga right from the beginning.

Oh and Flyingsolo that amazing advice you gave me is being passed on to friends and they have loved and appreciated it too!

Thank you Holyhannah I needed to go to the pet shop today to try and get some things to tempt my rabbit. Which is essential or it wouldn't be open but I nearly had a panic attack leaving and this is something I haven't dealt with for a long time.

I managed to slow myself down and rationalise myself through it.

I'm also thinking about what you said about what you said about misplacing feelings. I'm getting annoyed at things/people who normally wouldn't bother me. So they can all get lost too and I'm off for a bubble bath and getting the self cre I obviously need right now. I've got a bath bomb ive been saving for a special occasion

Starblaze -- I totally relate to "Missing my lovely friends is the hardest for me, those are the people who know me best and I spend the most time with."

While I am extremely blessed in my current situation, even with all that is going on, there are people I am definitely missing in new and different ways.

Starblaze -- Learning to manage my C-PTSD and all the 'goodies' that come with it has been my 2nd biggest challenge and 'it', the C-PTSD sometimes/often 'wins'. The good news is, the worst symptoms, the D&A are mostly gone and the milder stuff is so easy to recognize when I'm doing 'it' that I know to take a step back and how to ask for help/support...

And by "take a step back" I mean the moment I feel negative emotions trumping positive (dysfunctional thinkers always fall back to negative emotions like anger) I ask myself a series of questions internally. "What am I really upset about? Is this about the laundry or something deeper? What are my choices of possible reactions? Which reaction will offer the best long term outcome?" and there are a few more...

For Me, my D&A went down greatly when I was finally diagnosed with C-PTSD because all of a sudden I could understand that I was having rapid and dysfunctional thoughts but I couldn't understand the why because I was always condescendingly told, "There's nothing 'wrong' with you." Too bad Ma didn't say that with a positive tone...

Because that is part of the root of C-PTSD from childhood abuse that does lead to the depression and anxiety (D&A)... On one hand there's the admission that there is nothing 'wrong' with Me and then flipping to and acting like everything was somehow My fault. A child has no means to cope with polar opposite/dysfunctional views when coming from the 'adults' that are supposed to love and protect them.

P.S. The hardest/#1 thing for Me to learn to accept were the lies I had told myself like, "Of course my 'mom' loves Me because she says she does. She treats my Golden and I 'the same' because she says so. I am a 'bad child' for even thinking 'mom' might be lying even when I can observe her saying one thing and doing the opposite."

Missing my lovely friends is the hardest for me, those are the people who know me best and I spend the most time with. Although I am talking to my dad every day, we are used to communicating online due to distance too

What understandably affects many is not being able to see their children and GC but thankfully that's one thing that hasn't changed for us.

Our DS is in Australia so our usual contact with him using Face Time goes on as before, and as we're estranged from his brother and our only GC, we don't see them any way.

I was only thinking last night that despite the heart ache we've been through, in this current situation we are spared the difficulty of not seeing him and our GC, that we'd otherwise have been experiencing.

FlyingSolo I would never have thought of it like that, thank you.

I'm so sorry to everyone struggling. Some really good suggestions though. I wonder if we will ever be the same after this. Mental health is so important

I would normally be working, I have my own business but sadly I cannot work or gain any support from the government.
I have a goal each day it could be culinary, horticulture, craft etc.
Yesterday the weather was dull for the first time in weeks, I festered all day and felt low and miserable.
I am back on it today!
List of jobs and a brisk walk followed by workout at home.
I know I will feel better and sleep better tonight.