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Estrangement
Hope For Estranged Grandparents
(929 Posts)I’ve read some posts where people feel it is not worth the fight to see their grandchildren and others which suggest grandparents don’t have such rights - which is correct.
The fact in such matters though is that the rights belong to the children, including rights to see their grandparents unless there is a very good reason why not - and that Is where most arguments lay and a compelling and realistic case has to be made to support 'why not'?
How am I so sure? The Family Court has given me permission to see my grandchildren on a regular basis. Cafcass had no objections to, nor hesitation in recommending, access and the court was able to see that the cutting off of contact was not about the children but about the parent.
The court has enabled me to restart the lovely relationship I always had with my grandchildren.
Do not be afraid to go to court if it is the only way you can speak to your grandchildren. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Good luck
I think the conflict is in part due to this absurd view that some EAC have that all parent who are estranged were abusive in some way Chewbacca. That being the case, any GP who successfully obtains a contact order could potentially abuse their GC.
I get the distinct impression that this is less to do with whether or not GP's should be able to go to court in some cases and more to do with an uncontrollable urge some EAC have to pin the label of abusive on all EP's.
I started commenting on this post trying to explain that court cases can be damaging to children. Badly. The link I posted said that children caught up in custody battles between parents can even become suicidal. That's an extreme of possible damage.
Then we have gone to another extreme that parents have the potential to be put in prison which is another extreme kind of damage to children.
So why is anyone still arguing that grandparents should go to court for access, just because OP did (not knowing the long term implications in that case).
Doesn't matter who is at fault, doesn't matter who is to blame for the relationship breakdown, we are talking about inocent children.
This is exactly why in the majority of cases courts won't even entertain this idea and its also why (because I have read a lot of interesting old threads I was recommended recently) the majority of grandparents that do manage to go to court, fail.
Also, I found out that in cases where abuse is alleged by either party, the courts don't expect there to be mediation. Straight to court.
Nobody has ever denied or disagreed with that, though.
It's as it should be to protect children from getting dragged into adult messes.
I get the distinct impression that this is less to do with whether or not GP's should be able to go to court in some cases and more to do with an uncontrollable urge some EAC have to pin the label of abusive on all EP's
No uncontrollable urge from me to pin the abusive label on anyone.
The determination and relishing of parents being sent to prison, removed from their child’s life for a period of time, for failure to comply with a contact order granted in favour of the grandparent is utterly disgusting and disgraceful and that is the issue here for me.
And you're basing that on an exclamation mark?
No! I’m basing it on 21 pages of comments from that particular poster. I said the exclamation mark added extra gleeful effect!
Oops...22 pages of comments!
Precisely why I used the phrase tilting at windmills Chewbacca
It's the fantasy of having an enemy to attack that appeals.
No! I’m basing it on 21 pages of comments from that particular poster
Put your big girl pants on and use my name so that I can respond to you.
Come on, do what you tell others to do motherofdragons; don't hide behind the collective you. Get those big girl pants on.
@Chewbacca
Nonnie!
Have I not made it clear enough for you?
But it’s not just Nonnie is it, it’s all the other posters on here who actually agree with her. Frightening!
There are so many wolfs in sheep’s clothing on this board. Hysterical and offended at the word sicko. Abused because their child went no contact. But determined to believe they could send their child to prison for not following their orders (I.e. the court order) with no thought at all for the impact that would have on their grandchild. Disgusting!
Then why not do as you advocate others do and actually refer who you're posting about?
I suspect that the only reason you find it frightening is because you've been forced to admit that their is a legal avenue for estranged GP to follow if they wish and the parents of that GC could spend some time eating porridge for flouting court jurisdiction. Whilst it might frighten you, the law is there to protect children. And it does. End of.
sicko and depraved I think is how you described worthitall motherofdragons. Just scroll back a bit and you'll see it.
Namsnanny have you read all 22 pages? Who is attacking whom?
Oh Chewbacca is that really the best you can do?
You have barely participated in the discussion at all except to make it personal.
I don't know how anyone can say its estranged children having a problem with estranged parents when you are around lol
Its clearly just people having problems with people who are not nice people.
Here comes Chewbacca to any thread with
"Well I am an EAC and I agree with this estranged parent/grandparent so they must be right*
Blimey, actually I agree with estranged parents on many different things here and in other topics. They aren't right by virtue of my agreeing with them. I don't place that much importance on myself.
Then why not do as you advocate others do and actually refer who you're posting about?
It’s hardly something I advocate, is it? I asked Smileless to address me directly rather than indirectly on one occasion. I wasn’t addressing Nonnie in the post you, for some reason, have chosen to latch on to. I was addressing the poster I actually responded to. Don’t you worry yourself Chewbacca.
I suspect that the only reason you find it frightening is because you've been forced to admit that their is a legal avenue for estranged GP to follow if they wish and the parents of that GC could spend some time eating porridge for flouting court jurisdiction. Whilst it might frighten you, the law is there to protect children. And it does. End of
It’s not frightening to me because it’s not actually an option. But well done trying to resurrect that. If you were so interested, why didn’t you contribute at the time?
It’s frightening that some posters wish it were true though!
End of.
sicko and depraved I think is how you described worthitall motherofdragons. Just scroll back a bit and you'll see it
Yawn!
Oh Chewbacca is that really the best you can do?
No, I can do much better but you're very sensitive and you wouldn't like it.
You have barely participated in the discussion at all except to make it personal.
Nope, I've posted hard legal facts and resources where they can be followed through. As opposed to hysterical whataboutery of every different scenario that you could possible conjure up. Don't be misled by me not actually posting Starblaze; I don't actually have to post frequently to contribute to a thread. As you're not, as yet, the thread police, I will continue to post as and when I wish, with no permission required from you. 
Well I am an EAC and I agree with this estranged parent/grandparent so they must be right
Who said that? Either by implication or by statement? 
Chewbacca I can handle people using emotional and sexual abuse against me. I just have no issue pointing out that it is a bit hurtful and not acceptable.
Please try your hand
I'm tougher than I look. I survived emotional and sexual abuse, a bit of physical abuse too when I was very young (hospitalised even).
Lol if that makes me "sensitive"
I love it when you post Chewbacca you are hilarious, wouldn't ever try to stop you honestly
Dunno Madgran, I couldn't find anything referenced to that either, although I suspect that it was probably aimed at me because I don't fit the carefully crafted "Estranged Adult Child" template that seems to be de rigeur for so many others.
I can see both sides of the argument/discussion but that isn't enough for some people. Total condemnation against estranged grandparents is what's required here. And that's just plain short sighted and wrong because every situation is different.
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