SUPPORT for all living with estrangement

Sorry that you're feeling down today Yogagirl it's a difficult time of the year as you and 3Nanny have said.

I hope your DD and GD's will be OK, it must be a worry knowing that a dinner lady has tested positive. Give adorable little Joey an extra long cuddle ; he'll make you feel a little better.

The length of time between the triggers gets longer Iam which is a good thing but when it happens, that makes them more of a shock. I suppose at some level I try to convince myself that I'm 'over it' but of course we never will be.

Just a few days now until your DH's funeral PF. I hope you're coping OK as I think the nearer the days is, the harder it becomes. Sending you and your DD's love and hugs.

Hugs So sorry to hear your dear friend passed away

Smiles It's awful what sets you off isn't it 3Nanny6 is right in saying it's the time of year. When I get those feelings I quickly push them away, after 8yrs it's just too painful. I also get sad about my M&D not being here anymore as they were a big part of my daily life.

My DD&GDs come for dinner every Friday, but my GD's dinner lady proved positive for Covid yesterday, so I take it I will not see them for the next 14days, when will this end!!
Feeling depressed today, what with other things going on in my life at the moment, really stressing me out big time and my work being depleted every time we have a lockdown. Life has changed sooo much this year!

Good Morning All,
I have not posted for several days as I got caught up in the Christmas time to decorate the house. I have not finished yet but I have put up some cheerful lights and Christmas things.
It's sad to hear that some of you have been hit hard by the memories of your EAC although I think it is the time of the year more than anything as Christmas always brings family to the front of our minds.
I also have memories of my AD but have resigned myself to the fact that she is who she is and so I expect no changes no outpouring of love and nothing else from her.
The Christmas tree the lights and some lovely treats are for me and I love Christmas so I will just enjoy it.
I have already bought Clothes etc, for the grand-children and will take them to my eldest daughters flat so depending on what happens after 2nd of December I may see the children for an hour which I must be grateful for as I know others are not so lucky, however to be truthful it is a far away ideal arrangement and most of the time it feels like I do not even know the children that well. If anyone would have told me that this is what it is like to have GC I would never have believed them.

No matter how many years go by, the feelings of loss can be triggered as yours were Smiles x

Thank you madgran and smiles.

It's so hard when the blow hits you yet again smiles. Such a shame when it's something special you were enjoying too.
Our ES left a lot of his stuff here, because of course he didn't actually plan to estrange us, until he did. He planned to collect most of it when he bought his own place, but though he has a home now couldn't bring himself to do so. I had to go in a cupboard that contains mostly his things, the other day, and even though I steeled myself, and thought I had it, I saw certain things that brought memories flooding back and it was like being hit by an emotional truck all over again.

Thinking of you too PF

I'm sorry that your children's godfather has died of Covid hugshelp and that you now have to let your ES know.

There hasn't been any further contact from ES and I feel that's for the best.

Does anyone remember when in the 80's the BBC serialised 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'? Our boys loved it, it was shown on Sunday's about 6.00pm in the run up to Christmas and we'd have a proper tea in the living room so the boys could watch it.

I remember when Azlan was 'killed' how ES burst into tears and DS tried so hard not to let us see that he was crying too.

Mr. S. is a huge Lewis Carol fan so I bought it for him on video and ES watched it over and over again, so much so that I knew a lot of the script off by heart.

Well we watched it again yesterday, now on DVD, and when it got to the final battle in the last episode, I had such vivid memories of ES pretending to be involved in the fighting that I just broke down. Promptly followed by Mr. S. so there we both were, in tears with our dogs fussing around wondering what on earth was going on. Up to that point, we'd both been really enjoying it too.

There are still times 8 years on, that come completely out of the blue when the pain is still so raw, that I just couldn't risk ever having to go through this again, no matter how much I love and miss him; and I do.

Thinking of you PF.

Oh hugs help that is sad for you all. And added to with the worries of letting ES know etc.

Morning all. Hope you are all ok.
Sadly our good friend and godfather to both our children died of Covid last night.
DH now has to compose an email to our ES - he wouldn't even read it if I did. Our DD has her partner with her so will be well cared for today.

Have you heard any further from your ES smiles?

Have a happy thanksgiving Rhinestone

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving Rhinestone

I will Rhinestone, thank you.

'Happy Thanksgiving'

Thank you everyone for letting me rant . I feel better today. Our two friends came over yesterday and we sat outside as it will probably be the last nice day here . That helped a lot. Getting ready for our Thanksgiving. I’m making food and dropping it off at my DD and mother’s. Then we will Zoom our dinner.
YogagirlLove that baby of yours. Missing our dog but not wanting to be tied down .
PFYou are in my thoughts.
SmilelessPlease give Mr. S a heartfelt belated birthday wish from me???

Morning everyone.

Rhinestone I'm sure this pandemic has made many, be they the ones who have estranged or have been estranged, think about the real possibility of there being no contact before they die.

The death of your dear friend together with this awful pandemic has bought this into focus for you so it's perfectly understandable that you contacted him. I'm so sorry that you've been ignoredx.

Like you hugshelp I can't imagine I wouldn't have responded had I been estranged from my parents at this time. I can understand the reluctance to do so. I was reluctant to respond to ES's message just after mum died, but despite my reservations there was no way I could have ignored him and left him 'hanging' the way he's left us hanging all these years.

Little Joey is gorgeous Yogagirl. I was really pleased that, because our groomer works alone and due to the layout of her premises, she's been able to remain open during this lock down, so our dogs were groomed on Thursday and look beautiful.

There's a lot for you to organise PF and the loss of your DH will be emotionally draining which leaves you feeling physically exhausted. Sending you love and hugs x

Rhinestone Seems your son has a heart of stone, same as my estD

Petit Hope you can have an easier day today xx

God bless all

A perfectly understandable thing to do Rhinestone and I'm so sorry that once again you had to deal with the pain of being ignored, a pain most of us know only too well.

I can't imagine I wouldn't have responded to this from my own parents, who themselves caused me a lot of pain at times, but who I know were just imperfect people like all of us. We live in a different world now and I find it hard to understand.

So sorry you have so much to deal with PF, love right back. x

Rhinestone It wasn't a stupid thing to do.

Yogagirl Your little Joey is so cute, and I am not generally a dog lover!!

PetitFromage take care of yourself whilst getting it all done

I am so sorry Rhinestone, how horrible for you, especially when you are already upset and grieving for your friend.

Well I did a rather stupid thing again. My friend of forty seven years passed away suddenly but not from the virus. I was the only friend invited to the outside funeral. After the funeral I texted my ES saying that my friend died and saying life is too short and is there anyway we could communicate. I said I loved him and didn’t want to die being estranged from him. I got nothing once again. And then in my head not only was I bad at him for not answering but for my ESS whose son just had his tenth birthday. It’s been almost six years with him. Add to this virus thing and I’m a mess today. Sorry but I had to vent !

Joey is gorgeous!

Sorry, I haven't been around, but there is so much to sort out that I am finding it a bit overwhelming at present.

Love to you all X

Petit, I am sorry that your lovely dog died. I know how heartbreaking it is and coming so soon after losing you dh too. I can understand your feelings towards your daughter too, of course you have to move on, but when someone has been so cruel I cannot see how you can be sure of them again.

Yogagirl, you are so lucky getting Joey. I think he is beautiful, you can understand how a dog can ease the loneliness and give you a purpose, , they just give unconditional love.m

What a handsome chap pie he is Yogagirl!

Here's my Joey

Petit So very sorry to hear you lost your beloved little Westie, I know the pain as I had my little Westie for 16yrs! She pasted away last April '19 and the pain of loosing her was off the scales, it really was, she sleep on my bed and was always by my side.

As for the anger at your estD, even though she's back and seems repentant of all she's done, she still did immense damage to your family and especially to her dad in his final years on earth, no amount of repentance can alter that or erase it from your brain. It's really good she is back with the family though and hopefully you will move on and enjoy a better relationship with her in time.

I feel the same about my estD, the damage she has done to our family is so, so immense! I just thank God my M&D, whom she was so close to, weren't here to witness it. There was no argument, not even a cross word between us, but her husband, unbeknown to me, wanted us [her birth family] gone!

Ending on a good note; 3months after I lost my little Westie, I adopted a lovely dog from the local dog's trust. He's a Maltese Pomeranian, the most loving and good natured dog, he too is always by my side and sleeps on my bed at night, I love him. I'll try to post a pic of him.