Have you reconnected with an estranged parent?

Reading some parts of the internet, I get the impression that cut off is sometimes entered into very lightly. Unfortunately it does damage and if there are regrets, the person cutting off ends up living with their own pain.

Personally, I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who thinks they can pick me up and put me down at their whim.

MissAdventure

Surely cutting off a parent or child is a last resort, not something to chop and change?

Exactly this. No one should consider estranging family member/s unless they're 100% certain that the relationship is irrevocably broken down and they want nothing further to do with them. It's akin to a divorce and isn't entered into without a great deal of consideration and heart searching. Once that decision is taken, there is very rarely any going back. You made your decision; put it behind you and move on.

Surely cutting off a parent or child is a last resort, not something to chop and change?

Did you cut them off? For how long? If so, why would they be thrilled and wanting to use the opportunity? Maybe they don't want to make the effort in case you do it again? Maybe cutting them off has changed their view of you and they want to keep you at a distance? Maybe you have missed so much of their life that there is just too much water under the bridge for you to ever reconnect in a meaningful way now? Especially if you have missed key events in their life, you just aren't part of their life at this point. Those who were there are.

Unfortunately this is a consequence of a cut off. If you want to advance a relationship, maybe you could arrange to meet with them and talk about it. Be aware though that they might have moved on and not be ready or willing to reopen their lives to you.

I'm not sure why you think your wanting to open that door means they should be delighted and welcoming? Did you think you could take them in and out of your life at your will and nothing would change on their end?

I can’t see how a it could work. The emotional cost of estrangement is devastating, how can you move on from that.

You made the decision to cut this person out of your life.
Actions have consequences.

That action potentially caused pain, confusion and some trauma.

The consequence is that person may not want to jump back into a relationship with you. Why would they when you could just cut them off again?

I am the person who has cut off another one.
But more people who make this decision need to start thinking long term.

It may now be that if you want this relationship to work. You need to the one putting the effort in.

It sounds like you reconnected without being exactly clear about why you did- And if you didn't know why you did, you didn't communicate why you did, so it would only stand to reason why they only apologized and held themselves accountable for what "they thought" they did wrong- In other words, they guessed- And are maybe giving you your space to digest what got said and don't want to push and run the risk of losing you again-

I've got one that doesn't talk much so don't push and only discuss what's obvious with them until they spill their guts or beans- After they do, the air clears and there's greater understanding- It isn't lack of interest on my part or theirs- Its simply how they are and how I am-

In some situations, taking an interest can be interpreted as "pushy"- Depending on the personalities of those involved-