Grandson

I am afraid that you need to talk to your son about seeing your gs.

Why can't you talk to him?

Your dil and son are no longer together z you are facing a very common problem.

Sadly for you, it is not up to your daughter in law to facilitate the relationship with your grandson. This is up to your son. Whatever has happened, your dil is obviously upset and doesn't want to communicate with you. You have to respect that. It may be too painful for her to engage with you.

I would tread very lightly around your daughter in law, for now.
There are bound to be some raw feelings after a split, so it may get easier then.

I would perhaps text her once to say that if she needs anything to just ask.

Hi whogoesthere. I'm so sorry that you haven't seen the GS you were looking after every week for 3 months because your son's marriage has broken down.

It's going to be difficult for your son to gain access to his son if his estranged wife refuses to speak to him and as others have said, it is through your that your relationship with your GS will continue.

If he hasn't done so already, your son needs to get legal advice and employ the services of a solicitor to contact his estranged wife so that his own relationship with his son is disrupted as little as possible.

Whatever has happened in their relationship, it's unfair on you and your GS for the relationship you have to be denied. The break down of a marriage is heartbreaking and while I can understand your estranged d.i.l. perhaps feeling unable to engage with you, I don't see why arrangements couldn't be made with his other GP's, especially as they are now living with them.

I do wish that adults would behave like adults and put what's right for their child(ren) above their own feelings, especially when it comes to ensuring that a close relationship that has developed between children and their GP's is maintained.

I hope you get to see him soon.

Whatever has happened in their relationship, it's unfair on you and your GS for the relationship you have to be denied. The break down of a marriage is heartbreaking and while I can understand your estranged d.i.l. perhaps feeling unable to engage with you, I don't see why arrangements couldn't be made with his other GP's, especially as they are now living with them.

I agree with this. Yes adults are hurting ...but that is no reason not to think about a little boy who has built up a caring relationship with his grandparent looking after him weekly. I am wondering how old your grandson is whogoesthere?

Having said all that I think you need to think longer term in terms of building a relationship with your DIL and supporting your son as he tries to work out arrangements with DIL. Focus on supporting your son to find a way through in maintaining his relationship with his son ...this relationship is more important than the little boys relationship with you. As you see how things progress between your son and DIL etc you can then work with them within those arrangements to support and help and keep/further build your relationship with your grandson.

Being patient is hard I know as the missing him will be so painful but doing as described above may just bring a better longer term outcome for you

Please just be patient, play the long game, it will be to your advantage if you take a step back,

I'm sorry it has come to this for you all but as many have said it is all too common.
Sometimes a lot of water has to flow before bridges can be built and it seems to me grandparents are so easily fobbed off or even disregarded these days.
I wouldn't text DIL before clearing up what your son's situation is.
You say your son is not around and that's a shame because he is absolutely crucial.
I was in a similar situation but now my son has gone back to her (for now) but here was my way of keeping access to my grandchild.
1 Accept it may not happen- this is sad but common that grandparents are prevented from seeing their grandchildren. Seek advice and support but be prepared to stare at a brick wall at times.
2 Establish contact with your son. He has rights as well as responsibilities. The first thing is he should support the child and ideally both parents should agree between themselves how they will manage this. He should offer support even if his child is living with grandparents. I'm guessing mum worked and that's why you were looking after baby? Her parents are now doing that I presume?
3 If they can't agree they should go to mediation and have an impartial person hearing both sides to help them come to a conclusion.
4 Go to court- very costly and probably far less successful in the long term than 2 or 3.
If your son doesn't want contact with his child (it happens) then I suggest your being very honest and open with mum. I suspect she would be pretty angry with her dad having access to her phone- there are other ways of contacting her.
Just say you want to know when you can see him. I asked for photos and it was enough for me at the time. You can also ask to video call if you feel that may work.
I haven't seem my granddaughter since January, and then only briefly. It is a difficult road and I wish you luck with it.

Aw it's hard in the pandemic when we can only have 1 bubble and she was bound to pick a bubble that is best for her.
3 months isn't very long really and she is very hurt I bet.
I would just not take sides and be a listener. Hopefully if you don't hassle and are very supportive she will want your grandson to have his family. If not then you have to wait for your son to figure things out really.