That Interview

I think that Harry and Meghan have really burnt their boats
and have thrown too many grenades into the mix and hurt all of Harry's side of the family there is going to be no way back for them in the U.K. Harry and Meghan constantly want to throw all sorts of comments from California over to U.K but enough is enough and it is time for them to quietly get on with their own lives nobody cares about them anymore their whinging and whining is monotonous and boring.

Lizziesmom you are better off away from your mother and for her to believe the words of a pervert above you then you just do not need her. Y our revenge is to have a happy life and a good one, your mother will not always wear her rose tinted glasses and when he leaves her she will just be a sad old woman.

Lizziesmom
I am so sorry

Path not patch

Leaving Meghan aside, Harry did not fit the mold that was expected of Royals and with his actions (for years), expressed his future and heart was not there.

I believe he would have broken away from the patch chosen for him and he would have followed his own

But again, the woman gets all the blame (rolling my eyes)

Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry and you cry alone.

Everyone has their problems, but it is pretty offputting to be with one or more moaners. They tend to find that they are shunned.
We know a couple of folk whose glasses are always half empty. But not well!

We enjoy ourselves with our like minded friends, and try to help each other to solve problems, rather than whinge about total disasters, real or imaginary.

Lizzies mom, I cannot for the life if me imagine how bad it must have been for you. You really are better off without your mother. How you put that double betrayal behind you is a hard one. To come to terms with the unacceptable? I know there's a lot of call for reliving things and finding reason, but really there isn't one. He is not worth wasting one minute of your life on. Put that mentally in a box and look at what you do have, you survived it and see how far you've come and the positivity in you life. The best revenge is a happy life. He will always be a pevert and one day your mothers rise tinted glasses will break. It's too upsetting for words to imagine going through what you did. Good luck for the future.

My mothers exact words were "What you believe and what I believe are teo totally different things." She called me a liar while refusing to believe her disgusting violent predator husband could possibly do anything wrong. It's easier to deflect and blame than to accept any accountability I guess. Oh well my mother can cry estrangement all she wants, she made her choice. Her husband is a disgusting man and if being with that man is more important than that's her choice. She sucks at relationships she has proved that much.

"RECOLLECTIONS MAY VARY" is essentially what my mother told me when I finally confessed years of sexual abuse at the hands of her disgusting husband (my stepfather). She accused me of lying about my childhood abuse, the molestation, the sexual abuse that is akin to a sexual battery charge and would get her husband on the sexual predator list. So yeah, people like to deflect blame. I am wary.

Sparkling, How are you? . When I posted this thread I was so upset at this couples selfish attitude, very hard to understand, know it affected you the same way., how a couple with so much be so callous? Now two weeks on, lots of tears again, reliving certain moments, I face the future feeling more optimistic, deep down I used to think there might be a coming together but not now, looking from the outside in on that interview are they the sort if people you would want as friends? Definitely not, I can trust my friends. Those with a partner are so lucky , those of us on our own, we can do what we want to, one day I will travel again, for now it’s practising. my painting and walking and enjoying this winter of my life.

Re the question that somebody asked about the colour of Meghan's baby's skin: I don't see this as being racist in itself. Of course we don't know the background, but I do think it's possible it was a question asked by someone who would welcome some diversity in the family. Maybe M and H were over-sensitive (which may not be their fault) but it's being blown up as being overwhelmingly shocking, which it might not be.

They made a career and life choice and their family treated them appallingly because of it.
In what way were they treated appallingly?

As you say, they made a career choice - so why should they expect to pick and choose a few aspects of the job which they preferred and expect to still receive the perks that went with a full-time position? It doesn't happen with other firms, other careers.

They made a life choice - absolutely fine, they emigrated, as many younger people do, but other people in their late 30s do not expect their parents to continue to fund the lifestyle to which they were accustomed. Harry seemed shocked that his father would not continue to pay to indulge his privileged life.

It's quite a reality check for them both.

I still don't want to take sides but it does remind me of my situation a bit now.
I had issues so I tried to talk to my family. They said that they didn't have any issues and were all fine so my issues didn't matter at all. I didn't want to be in a family that didn't care about my issues. Then my family sent other people that started having a go at me all the time for having issues with my family so I explained to them about the issues. Then they told my family that I was right to be upset and they should deal with the issues. Then my family said they wanted to discuss it with me privately. Then quite recently I tried to talk to mum and she told me there weren't any issues and it's all in my head. Have to laugh really but it's difficult when you don't like treatment from family and they don't listen.

It's possible to see the grey areas and nuance in this and not be a 'hater'

It is indeed Nell

Dear Whiff, thank you for sharing your story. Love never dies... Your husband is a very wise man. I was hurt by a hurting woman. I am still hurt but I try no to hurt others. I love animals & children: I worked with the kids most of my life, in three countries but it so happened that I do not have a child of my own. Then I realised why: I did not want my baby to be hurt by a grandma. If I ever had a child I would not have told my mother, in order to protect the baby. I am blesssed by three nieces on my side & a niece & a nephew on my partner's side. I am an honorary grandma to my niece's baby. And do you know - her dad is an African student of architecture in Russia & her mum is a endocrinologist. I will tell you later about their experiences of navigating a deeply ingrained racism in Russia: among their own family, neighbours, colleagues, passer-byes & the Internet where trolls are abound. They carry on with their daily life with grace & poise, & an occasional cry on my shoulder via Skype. They brave distances: he lives in Astrakhan, she is in Krasnodar with her mum, 514 miles from each other. He visits when he can & they chat daily via Skype with each other. He speaks to his daughter in French, I in English & Ukrainian & her mum in Russian & the 9-month-old baby laughs at & with us. We sing folklore songs & lullabies to the entanced baby girl in all those languages. She was born prematurely in the time of the Plague in a hostile social environment. And inspite of all obstacles, I feel hopeful for them. And yes, we discussed the baby's skin - in an open way, worrying if the trouble with the liver can be spotted at all, due to the dark skin pigment. My niece is aware that the baby needs the sunlight & will tan as a result. Caring for the African hair is also a learning curve for both young parents, so he enrolled on the barber's course & supplements his income by a part-time job, & also teaching his partner during his visits how to wash, comb & apply the special nurturing oils & conditioner to the hair & how to plait it. Life is good!P.S. The baby girl's name is Diana... You just can't make it up sometimes... Life is stunning: it can both stun & make you happy...

Spoiled brats is right M0nica.
They will create their own mental health problems if they carry on like this ! Bitterness will eat at them.

Indeed Nell. Our life experiences good and bad in part make us the people that we are, they play a big part in the choices we make good and bad, but those choices are ours and we need to own them.

Being treated badly is no excuse for treating others badly. IMO to treat others badly when you have personal experience of that behaviour being done to you, is far worse. You know what it's like to be treated in that way, so you know what you're doing to some one else.

Our past only dictates our future if we let it.

Jillyjosie You wont get it in the neck, everyone sees things differently and I agree that Harry is likely deeply traumatised which may well explain much of his behaviour and underlies the choices he's made. It's a terrible thing, most of my career was spent trying to help and heal people just like him. However, experiencing trauma might be a reason why people cause hurt to others, but it's never an excuse. The day we start accepting that being treated poorly is a good reason to pay it forward is the day we need to take a vey good look at what we're doing as a society. I suspect we're at that point.

It's possible to see the grey areas and nuance in this and not be a 'hater'.

So Harry knew how to get therapy in his late 20s. Why didn't he get therapy for his wife when she told him how she was feeling? He doesn't come out of all this very well.

I shall probably get it in the neck for writing this, but, I wonder if any of you have read about new research and understanding of trauma, its long lasting effects, especially on children and that it is, quite literally, possible for people to experience events differently. Often there is no concretely right situation, only a difference of opinion. It's also long been accepted that we are all the products of our childhood and few of us were as deeply loved as we needed. Personality comes into it and circumstances.
Harry is the product of a marriage that was doomed from day one. His father married the woman he was told to who he didn't love and he carried on life with a mistress from day one. Princess Diana was an unhappy and unstable very young woman when she married. She obviously loved her sons to bits. I cannot imagine anything worse than your mother being killed when you were 12 and then being expected to walk behind her coffin in public in front of millions. I think Harry is deeply traumatised. He has said somewhere that he didn't speak about his mother's death until he had some therapy in his late 20s. That is trauma. Money is of no answer to anything when someone is deeply unhappy.
I can see how lots of parallels are being drawn with the royal family and personal circumstances. Actually none of us can really know what it's like being a member of that family. As Tolstoy said, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Dear MOnica, thank you for your kind message! I think that in life, there is a place & space for all sorts of people, otherwise it would have been very boring if one lot lived in Hell & the other in Heaven. God (or Universe, Mother Nature, Cosmic Force etc.) are very wise in mixing us all up, so there's a variety: spoiled brats who do not count their blessings as it would have taken them a couple of days to do so & ordinary people whose blessings are only 3 in number but very precious & dear to their heart. "The less you own, the easier the Path to Freedom, Light & Cosmic Stream of Peace & Balance..." Thank you for the flowers!

When you work from home nothing is more infuriating than people who just swan in to your office when you are working, ithout a by your leave and assume that you can always leave your work at any moment to discuss whatever is on their mind.

During lockdown, I have been very careful about when I even ring AC, and prefer them to ring me, because I do not want to distub them when they are working.

Well your last post made me Rabbit and I laughed at hearing about your best ever birthday present. I'm hoping to be able to same when it's my birthday at the beginning of May.

Rabbit what a wonderful woman you are. One of my favourite saying is what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And that definitely applies to you. My husband made me promise to live the best life I can and I do. By the sounds of it you do to. I am glad you have love in your life and are happy.

You can't if they follow you around shouting at you and you don't feel safe. Even rubbish people should get to feel safe. Maybe if they felt safe they would be less angry at everything and be better

Armadillo I would think the advice to Meghan would have been Do NOT Look at the Media Reports!

But it seems she may have ignored that advice.