Just to see the children

Smileless is right in what she says in my opinion. The main thing is that seeing them will deepen your pain even more. Just one look may not be enough and then where will you be? I feel desperate for you but it's not the answer.

Oh dear how sad these stories are……most of us on this thread have either been estranged or were on the brink (like me ).
To all who are in pain

Stay away from the school. Anyone parking by schools are reported. My friend parked outside side of a school. He proceeded to get his camera equipment out of the boot. He was putting it together, when he was aware someone was stood by him. It was a police officer. He wanted to know, my friends purpose parking where he had parked. My friend is a wildlife photographer. There was a river nearby. PC thought he was there to film kids. He was made to move away from the school. He is more Attenborough than stalker. He never parked near a school again

You have been incredibly kind to your daughter and husband and it upsets me you are treated this way. I can’t see how your daughter is happy, she knows you must miss them all, however you can’t alter anything as she is taking his side. I do hope you look after yourself, now we are able to get out more after having all the vaccinations, could you contact Age Concern and see if there are any meetings you could go to to mix with others, perhaps the local library or church have things going on. Start treating yourself and do things that get you out, let us know how you get on.?

AmberSpyglass. Easier said than done when I previously had a loving relationship with my daughter and grandchildren and I love them all so very much. My only other child died shortly after a full term birth and I was told It wouldn’t.be able to have another child but my determination was such that I eventually gave birth to my daughter..My husband and I were so happy.
Perhaps nobody is entitled to so much happiness.
The birth of our grandchildren- oh what joy. Sadly my husband died six years ago but at least he didn’t have the sorrow of being rejected. The problem began when my daughter’s husband got into incredible debt. I first loaned him money which has never been returned and then helped him with vast sums well in excess of £100,000. It is easy for him not to face me and I don’t what goes on between him and my daughter.. I just hope she is happy.. I have never put any pressure on them as far as money is concerned. I don’t have much now but money isn’t everything to me. seeing my daughter and grandchildren is all I long for.
Yes,I did have a previous warning about harassment and I couldn’t stop myself. Thought if ziti wrote to my daughter telling her how much I love her she might weaken and I followed this with another attempt to see my granddaughter.
Nobody seems to have come up with any idea about getting the law changed - my only hope.

Im so very sorry Sweep

Heartwrenched I understand how you feel because I'm dying to catch a glimpse of my GC too.

BUT I haven't been into town since I was estranged from them because I know that if I saw them it could be heartbreaking. I know what shops they like to go to and think it would be easy to find them....

Yesterday I was imagining going to their favourite shops, making faces at GC across a shop and having GC smile back at me....and then reality set in and I imagined my son seeing and whisking him away angrily. I know that I would break down in the shops and it would feel lonely and embarassing. I think it's just with all the Christmas stuff in the shops, it feels more isolating than ever with the doom of an impending Christmas without them. Really though, even if my GC smiled back, what would that even achieve? He's too young to remember who I am and would just think I was a cheerful stranger.

I know that seeing them won't change anything. What needs to change is our children's hearts- and without that, we will only hurt ourselves more.

However, it's your decision. If you do decide to, please update on how it goes. I know, it's very tempting. Especially this time of year. ]

Sorry for your pain Sweep.?

It sounds like your daughter had made it clear you weren’t to contact her or them. I’m sorry if you had a shock by the police getting involved, but it’s clear they don’t want to hear from you. Best to avoid further trouble.

I'm sorry you are in that situation Sweep. I am surprised that there is such a strong response to what you described and you didn't just get some sort of warning.

I hope that things go OK. Maybe you should look into some counselling to help you process your feelings

I cannot begin to imagine what sort of D would put in a harassment complaint to the police against her 86 year old mother .

"Now all hope seem to have gone" it looks that way Sweep and I'm so very sorry and know how painful this is. Think about making a memory box for your GC. Write letters and anything else you may want too put in the box. Leave the memory box to them in your will.

One day they will know that you loved them.

If you are able, please let us know whether or not the police take this any further.

Sweep123 what an awful thing to happen to you. I know what it's like not to see your grandchildren. I have 3 grandson's I don't see. But it's my son's choice he cut me and all our side of the family out of his life. He wants zero contact he's got it.

I miss my son and grandson's very much. But I would never go any legal route to see them. It would only end in tears and get me no where.

You already have a harassment charge hanging over you. If you try and take this further you could face further charges.

I hope you do the sensible thing and walk away. You will only be hurt more.

I did attempt to see my grandchildren and wrote two very. loving letters to my daughter. I have been called to Police custody where I had a taped interview and am waiting to hear whether I will be taken to Crown Prosecution for harassment.
I am 86. My grandchildren are just 9 and 12. Time isn’t on my side and I only lived to see them. Now all hope seems to have gone, The only hope is that, as the EU has now granted parent rights it might be easier to persuade our government to do the same. I’m trying to find a politician prepared to fight for us.
Any advice on this will be so welcome.l

When I started school aged 5 I was not allowed to go out to play with the other children at playtime and had to remain inside in the classroom. At the time I didn’t understand why as nobody explained to me why,but years later I was told. My parents divorced and my mother worried that my father might come to the school and abduct me. He lived abroad and as I would have recognised him I would have happily gone with him. What I’m getting at here is your GCren might have to be treated differently at school if you are seen near the school. People tend to think the worst scenario and small children don’t understand and get upset. Best not to go. Hopefully there’s a change of heart by their parents.

Eventually fill the book I meant

Oh gosh, I can't imagine not seeing the grandchildren and therefore can only imagine the hurt.
Have you tried mediation with your daughter, or writing a letter saying may I slowly be in touch with the children.
I've a friend who writes to them and dates it every month and puts it in a basket and she said one day when they meet she's going to give him all the letters. Not sure if it helps.
I see mine but I am in the process if doing them a journal each too. Just a few lines and dated when I feel like picking it up and eventually feel the book.
I hope things improve for you .

Heartwrenched. I agree that it would be a bad idea for two reasons.

Firstly, I can only echo what everyone else has said. If you are seen either by your D or someone else who recognises you, this would only cause trouble.

Secondly, and this may surprise you, it could simply make you feel even worse. We moved away so we wouldn't see our GC who lived just down the road from us.

Seeing them and being unable to talk them, reach out and touch them was unbearable. Far worse in my experience then not being able to see them at all.

Please do not do it, if you are seen it could make matters worse.
I sympathise with you, and understand why you are thinking this, but it is a no no.

Heartwrenched You may get to meet up with them once they are older. I have read about GPs or even separated parents who don't get to see their children who write letters and cards and keep them so that when the children get in touch they can see that you've thought about.

Sometimes children are led to believe that their GP or parent doesn't care about them because letters and cards are kept from them.

I am not assuming the worse - I am being realistic.

Oh Hithere, please try to be gentle with op.

Why assume the worst?

Team no

Think about it. Will a glimpse be enough? Once you open pandora's box, what would you like to do next?

It would be so tempting to do but really not a good idea, as others have said.

As you are understandably struggling with the pain of this situation, I think some counselling might help you to find a way forward.

HeartWrenched ; how sad and low you must be feeling to allow yourself these thoughts and want to go to your GCs school and try to see them. It is not a good idea also someone could recognize you and report you.
It is 6 years since you have seen them and of course they will have grown but you need to find a way to cope and come to terms with the fact they are no longer in your life. VioletSky :
is right find out about some counselling and take each day as it comes be kind yourself.

I agree with everyone else and wanted to add Heartwrenched that this really wouldn't be good for you either.

Have you thought about getting counselling so you can help these feelings and move forward?

I can see why you’re tempted, but I agree with everyone else, it could have serious consequences, please try and find another way.