What response can be used to an undermining parent?

We haven't had this to the same extent, but GD's mother does sometimes wrongly say that GD likes/dislikes things. In her case it's probably because she doesn't know! GD is now old enough to decide for herself. Your grandson will reach that age eventually!

Perhaps, rather than contradicting his mother - not a good tactic - you could say "Well we had fun swimming (or whatever) today, didn't we?" Suggesting alternative views of life gives children a broader base to work from as they grow up.

I think you just have to ignore these comments - don't even speak to his mother about them. Septimia gives a very good way of responding.

Also, make sure you are positive about his mother whenever you get the chance - he may then go home and repeat what YOU have said. So if he tells you she made a really nice tea for him - then compliment her "aren't you lucky having a clever mummy" etc.

Ignore it.
I agree with Septimaia.

'We we had a nice time didn't we?' Try and let the little lad have an opinion by giving him chance to speak for himself.

The best response is none whatsoever.

It could be an attempt to undermine his relationship with his father Septimaia but what matters is that this little boy is spending time with his daddy and you, his GP's.

I agree that you should ignore it. Don't worry about it and let it spoil the time you've all clearly fought so hard for. His mum's behaviour may well come back to bite her, only time will tell.

Gently turn ALL negative responses into positive ones without mentioning the other parent. Keep it light and use language appropriate for the childs age.

It may be that he hasn't enjoyed those things in the past. Things obviously change as children grow.

I would just keep it positive and not challenge it. Also offering choices works well, this helps him form his own opinions and let's him have some control over days out which will help him feel safe communicating his needs to you.

So pleased for you Ski, I am sure you will make every visit a calm happy one, not criticising mother in any way, so when he goes home after doing something she said he wouldn’t like, he can say I did so and so and it was lovely mummy. Sit and paint mummy a picture, something positive so she doesn’t feel threatened in any way. It must be so lovely for you and your son having gs in your lives once more. You never forget people that you enjoy being with.

Thank you . We all remain positive and upbeat. We do zoom stories at bedtime and talk about the lovely day he has had with Daddy. Unfortunately our son lives several hours away and is on his own as work takes him away. He’s a great Daddy and his hard work will pay off. Just difficult at the time.

Yes, never, ever be negative about his mummy, the little boy will only feel insecure if people are negative about the most important person in his life - his mum, concentrate on the positives and work as a team. You night have differences of opinion about his mum, but the little boy does not need to be involved in this.

Your job is to provide neutral territory for your grandson where he can say things without fear of repercussion.
Don't even think of mummy as an undermining parent, just concentrate on your grandson having a happy time, with no underlying tensions, and delight in everything he tells you.