Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Happy belated Easter to you Madgran Hope things are less difficult for you.

Lovely to see you posting again Madgran and sorry that you've been struggling lately. As you'll have seen from this thread, you're not the only one .

Had a very busy day yesterday cleaning the 3 chairs in our kitchen/dining room and carpets. Mr. S. did the lions share and everything looks great, feels soft and smells lovely.

It's always a shock when we tip the dirty water away as you have no idea how dirty they'd become. Now we're on a roll we'll take our vax to the lodge to do the carpets there too while we're away.

Did anyone watch 'The thief, his wife and a canoe'. Hard to believe it was based on a true story; what an awful thing to let your AC think their father's dead for more than 5 years.

When she received a letter from the oldest son, I burst into tears; how can we be treated so badly when we did nothing wrong and yet those sons continue to work on their relationship with their mother? .

Cried again when the youngest took his 4 month old son to meet his GM for the first time in prison. Felt OK within minutes of the tears so I suppose I just had to have a quick cry to get it out of my system.

Wondered if our ES was watching it and if so, how it may have made him feel.

Sorry things have been tough lately Madgran. Thinking of you.

Didn't see that smiles - but it is very easy to see something that does bring it home to you.

Had a productive day. Did some writing. Decluttered and tidied my wardrobe. Plus we got some estate agents booked to come and value our house. Have to bake a cake for Mr Hugs tomottow. It's his birthday on Saturday.

Madgran sorry you are having a tough time. Hope you are over the worst soon.

Incase I forget happy birthday to Mr Hugs for tomorrow. Glad you have got estate agents booked to value your house Hugshelp. When I had mine valued and they told me how much it was worth I told them no. It was over valued as I knew what needed doing . If I had put it on the market for what they said wouldn't have gotten any viewing. This was in 2018. In the 2 years 7 months since my move my bungalow has gained £70k in value.

You are in for a stressful time selling and buying but it's all worth it when you have your new home. Hell on earth until the exchange. Because I lived on my own and doing the viewings I had rules no more than 2 adults ,no teenagers and shoes to be left in the porch. No one complained.
Hope your new home hunt is successful.

Craft group was fun yesterday and got another new member. Love the fact the age range is early 30's to 80's. Mind you it's a laugh only one of us isn't on lots of tablets or got multiple illnesses . Exercise class starts again next week.

Going to be a nice day. Got my towels washing and want to get some weeding done. Had some large pots delivered and had a nice surprise there was a packet of Sunflower seeds so going to start them off . Never grown them before.

Smiles glad you are pleased with your cleaning . Have a lovely time at the lodge. I remember that case the programme is based . I never understood why parents would do that to their children. It was very cruel. But what our children has done is cruel . But of course we are the villains not them. They are the sweet innocent parties.

Hopefully the sunshine has raised everyone's spirits. ☀️

I know what you mean Smileless about the Thief, the wife and the canoe, how can a couple get such lovely sons, she barely spoke, except in whispers, he I felt creepy. How on earth anyone can do that to their children and is beyond me, unbelievably cruel. At any time she could have said no, she happily joined him abroad, no thought for anyone but themselves. She wasn’t stupid and in my eyes worse than him a fantasist, that will scar that family for ever, I wouldn’t want her in my life or gc, you can’t trust her, him he’s not bothered anyway. I too got upset at the pain those boys were in.
Like a few others, this year has been problematic to say the least. Still going on. I know I have to make decisions best for just me, as it’s just me that will be living with the problems.
I hope for all that’s finding life hard at present, that things improve for us all. One thing I try to do every day, even in the smallest way, show kindness or give bit of help to others, even if it’s just a few encouraging words. It really does help if you cant stop internalising things as I’m prone to do, to think of others and if I can see it has made a difference it lifts me.

QuoteSmileless2012 Thu 21-Apr-22 09:13:28
Did anyone watch 'The thief, his wife and a canoe'.

Yes I did Smiles and thought the same things as you did and felt emotional too. It was an excellent docudrama.

Good advise Whiff on Hugs move.

I had whole families trapesing round, the m&d, c & gp. I did ask for shoes off, which was quite funny sometimes watching them, most did ask. On my purchases last visit [of many] they came with their son again and didn't removal their shoes, just straight in, I thought 'oh well, it's your carpet now'

EA always give you a much higher price than they should, to get your business. My house went up by 15k in the last 6months! I didn't get the higher value as I'd already accepted an offer.

We just had our valuation Whiff and I too think it was over-valued. We've booked two more so I'll see what they say before we decide. It's good to see what you did because we'll need to mull it over quickly. Thanks. Glad you had a good time at craft group. I'll pass on your birthday wishes, ty. Nice weather here too, sunny and blowy - bedding done.

I'll beat your advice in mind about shoes when we get it on the market. Great point Yogin. And thanks for your heads up about house prices. More for us to chew on that will be helpful.

Off to view a bungalow in a mo.

Just finished Mr Hug's cake. (We like bird watching...)

Hugshelp beautiful cake.. Happy birthday to Mr Hugs. Hope the viewing went well. My bungalow was the third one I viewed and saw a fourth while waiting for my offer to be accepted.

Once you put your house on the market let your solicitor know and get all the paperwork you need to fill in ready for when you accept an offer. So glad my solicitor sent me all the forms as they took a while to fill in then hand delivered them she had them all ready once I accepted an offer. Saved a lot of time. Stress levels will go through the roof. But it's all worth it to move into your new home.

I know for me I am a new person since my move. Lost my son and grandson's but gained a lot of things. My thinking has changed . While I miss my husband everyday I no longer think in the terms of ours but mine and strangely that's very freeing.

Good luck with your viewing Hugs Lovely cake, did you make the bird & is it edible?

Hugshelp - the cake is a work of art.

Well, I have my daughters 2 girls staying tonight, which I am looking forward to but a bit anxious. They were here in February and one of the questions that one of them asked was just what was I leaving them in my will when I die. I was shocked and asked them not to ask that question again. One is 12 and the other 14.5 years. Both much older than their years. No word from my daughter though. I know I am being used as a convenience for when their dad goes away but at least I get to spend some time with them. Paints and paper are all sorted ready for later. No word from my eldest son since my birthday but never mind. I am going to spend Wednesday with my youngest son for a belated birthday treat. Tickets all bought and I am soooo looking forward to it.

Knitting this afternoon while watching The Split on catchup.

Good luck with your viewing Hugs.

Ty Whiff We liked the bungalow we went to view. Actually put in a preliminary offer on the spot, but we knew there were other offers in and we really only wanted to be kept under consideration while we checked out a few concerns, which kept us busy as we needed to move fast. Ended up not increasing our offer and letting it go as a result of the things we found but it was good to get into the process and we have a benchmark now.
Thanks for more great advice again.

The bird is just a cake ball (cooked in two halves then stuck together, covered in icing Yogin The head is modelling chocolate covered in icing. - all edible apart from a cocktail stick holding the head on which you just slide out after you take his head off.

Ty PurpleP. Golly I'm astounded that the grandchildren asked about your will. I wonder what gave them that idea. I'm so sorry your daughter is treating you this way, but I totally understand that you would make the best of what you can. Sorry about the treatment from your eldest son too. Hope you have a wonderful time with your youngest son.

Hubby's birthday celebrations were mostly put on hold because of our daughter and her partner losing their friend and because we had to run around checking out house stuff. But he enjoyed a piece of cake and some cards and pressies and we had a bit of a walk in the sun. A proper belated get together later will be something for him to look forward to.

Still plodding on with big deep clean and declutter around the other stuff. Already feels a bit hectic and we've barely started but that was partly due to seeing an 'almost' bungalow so quickly. Word is everything is selling as soon as it hits the market - especially bungalows and the prices are soaring so we'll just have to see how it goes.

Purplepixie hope you enjoyed your time with your granddaughter's. Before my son dumped me both my children always said they didn't care if there was no money after I died they wanted me to have a comfortable life. In fact both said if I ever needed money to ask. Because of my illness only worked to cover for my husband's secretary as it was something I could do. But due to my illness I am unemployable as I never know how I am going to be everyday. And not having a name for it never could get any benefits. My husband left some money which has long gone and live on what I inherited from my mom. Because I now have a name I have applied for PIP whether I get anything I don't know. But if they refuse me I will appeal. As I have had it since birth and it's been 34 years since it got worse. I have 2 years before I get my state pension . 5 years ago I paid a voluntary 10 years NI which put my pension up. My husband paid in for 30 years before he died I will receive 43p a week from that. Which angers me as he paid a lot as he was on good money. It's not his fault he died at 47.

If I lived in a council house I would get help but because we saved and made sacrifices to buy our own home you are penalised. Luckily living in my bungalow my bills are cheaper and the cost of living here is cheaper than the Midlands.

Hugshelp decluttering takes forever but well worth it. I thought I had been very good. As I downsized from large 3 bed to a 2 bungalow. But still had more stuff to get rid of once I unpacked my boxes as I realised I didn't want or need the things. But must say I love my par down life. I made a rule when I moved nothing was going into the loft as you would not believe what stuff we had in my old house loft. I just sent some boxes to charities shops without opening them as some had been up there since before my husband died. And decided if I didn't want them in all that time I wouldn't want them now.

Good luck with your new home hunting.

Good morning everyone.

We arrived at our lodge yesterday lunch time, it's a beautiful sunny morning here and we're looking forward to the next two weeks.

Went out for an impromptu Chinese meal last night due to constant power cuts that started not long after we'd arrived. Thankfully the problem was sorted by the time we got back.

Hope Mr. Hugs enjoyed his cake hugshelp, it certainly looks delicious and the bird is a work of art so well done. It's so tempting to rush into something when you know the property market is moving so quickly, so it's good that you've seen a property and that has given you something to work with for future viewings.

Hope you're enjoying seeing your GD's and there haven't been any inappropriate questions this time PP. You must be looking forward to spending time with your youngest son on Wednesday.

Good idea when de cluttering not to open boxes that you haven't bothered with for years Whiff. As you say, if you've not needed what ever they contain for years then you simply don't need it.

I'm going to think the same when we have a clear out once our flat has been finished. There are boxes in our store room that have been there since we moved in more than 5 years ago, just taking up space.

Mr. S. is bringing our garden 'egg chair' over next week and we'll have it on our decking. We haven't bothered with it on the roof terrace at home for a couple of years and moving it out so it's ready to bring here has freed up a lot of space.

Glad you know you're all set up for a lovely lodge stay smiles.
I love how you sent off boxes without opening them whiff. I'm not sure I could be that self-disciplined. We have a car load ready to take to the charity shop tomorrow though.

Smiles I have this picture of my head of you sitting in your egg chair with a glass of wine at your lodge watching the sunset with the dogs at your feet and Mr S leaning on a rail. Don't know if you have a rail but that image just popped into my head . Have a wonderful time away.

Hugshelp when my son emptied the loft for me and I saw all the boxes I had enough of sorting so it was easy just to send them unopened. Plus I had the 2nd bedroom full of boxes I had packed and didn't want to both looking at things I hadn't for so long.

My brother and sister in law are busy sorting out 2 x3 bed houses worth of stuff into a 2 bed bungalow. When they moved out of their house due to removal costs my brother rented 2 storage units and transferred what they thought they would keep out of the 2 houses. They where buying a 3 bed bungalow but that fell through and brought the one they have now which is better and in a better area. They only got the keys a few weeks ago . They moved in with his father in law before Christmas and should have moved January. But as anything to do with buying and selling property nothing goes to plan.

Because of the father in law's solicitor he can't sell his house yet. Years ago it was enduring powers of attorney it changed to lasting powers of attorney which has to be registered with the government. He never told him. Because his of wives dementia she can't make decisions and it's got to go through the courts once they give permission he can change it to lasting powers and get it registered. And sell his house. Then the plan is to build an extension on the kitchen. The kitchen is already big enough for a table but needs a new one as it's over 20 years old . And the kitchen my sister in-law had in their old house was beautiful.

Good luck with your hunt for your new home.

Saturday my daughter text to say my son in law has Covid and is isolating in the bedroom there is a shower room en suite. I haven't seen him since good Friday but was with my daughter and grandson's on Friday. I always do a lateral flow test on Saturday's so am doing one everyday just to make sure I am negative as my exercise class starts again on Wednesday and have craft group on Thursday. My daughter and grandson's are fine at the moment. My son in law says it feels like a bad cold. This is the second time he has had it even though they are both fully vaccinated. All 4 of them had it January last year. How I didn't catch it off them I don't know as I was with them everyday as they where busy packing to move house.

Have a busy week ahead which I love. Hope you all have a good one. And everyone's spirits are rising.
?

Yes we do have a rail Whiff a fence all the way round our decking.

What a nightmare for your brother and s.i.l. as these things can take ages to get sorted out. Mr. S. and I did the paperwork for our lasting powers of attorney weeks ago. We've had paperwork back to check the details but are still waiting for them to be registered.

Maybe you have natural anti bodies. It's good that your s.i.l. isn't too poorly with it.

We went to look at our flat yesterday as the new bathroom has been installed and Mr. S. has done as much as he can with the new kitchen. Kitchen fitter is coming in a few days to finish off, to cut the worktops, fit the sink and make the breakfast bar.

It's looking great and I'm so proud of all the work Mr. S. has done. We could have wept when we saw how it had been trashed and now it's unrecognisable.

I'm very picky and told Mr. S. it's looking so good I could happily live there myself. We have thought about it. Really down sizing, spending most of our time here at the lodge and having the flat as our permanent address, staying there occasionally and every February when this site closes for a month.

Something for the future if not now which is why we decided not to sell.

Sounds as if your de cluttering is going well hugshelp; keep up the good work.

Oh dear, paperwork and house selling can be such a hassle Whiff. Hope everyone is all sorted and settled asap. Hope the covid soon passes without too much trouble for your SIL.

Mr S sounds very clever smiles. Nice to keep your options open.

He is clever hugshelp.

Not a bad morning here so far as the sun is coming out and we have blue sky between the clouds.

Cleaned the living room carpet here on Wednesday and very pleased with the result. Thinking about what we might do today. It's a hard life, this retirement isn't it.

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Had my new artificial grass put down today. They put a foam layer under so it's safer if I fall. The grass is soft and it's springy my grandson's will love it and Aggie. My brother and sister in law's dog. The old one was very spikey and had been put on the soil. My new one has a proper base of hard core and granular. Hope you like the picture and the one of the phlox in my front garden.

Your garden is a credit to you Whiff.
Smileless I think your living at the lodge and keeping the flat on an excellent idea. The lodge is your happy place.
Love and good wishes to all of you.

Whiff your garden looks great. And the foam underlayer is such a good idea for you. The Phlox are so pretty too. I have just bought a beautiful Alpine called Heavenly Blue Gardena... saw it in the Garden Centre and couldn't resist. It is now cheering me up in a pretty pot on the patio! I'll try and taken a photo tomorrow

Glad you like my garden. It my happy place I go out and lose myself for hours.

Woke this morning and my mind went to my son. It's 2 years today since I last saw or spoke to him. I don't feel sad but wonder how he and the family are. My grandson's are all of a similar age and when I am with my daughter's boys I can see the things my other grandson's would be doing. And can't help but miss them . I have resigned myself to not seeing them again. But the longing doesn't go away.

Have a busy day ahead. My son in law is still positive for Covid and has been in isolation since last Saturday in their bedroom luckily they have a shower room ensuite. My daughter, grandsons and me have been testing daily so far all negative. My daughter's been camping out in my elder grandson's bedroom lucky they keep the single mattress so at least she has had a comfortable night's sleep.

I have the younger one this morning while his brothers at his swimming lesson. Where having a girls night out at a restaurant. But now it's an early dinner with her and my grandson's at a different restaurant which I am looking forward to. I am 64 today and really don't know where the years have gone.

Because of my birthday I baked and took my brownies to both my exercise class and craft group they all went. I restrained myself and didn't have a piece but did have a lick of the bowl. Glad to say everyone looks forward to my brownies. But they are very chocolatey it's a Nigel Slater recipe which I have been using for years .

Well hope everyone has a good day ..

Happy Birthday Whiff⚘⚘

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Whiff
You should have eaten the first brownie, it's your birthday!
Lovely garden Whiff

Sounds good to me Smileless living in your lodge and keeping your flat for the odd occasion. No worries then with renting it out. We renting our house out when we lived in Africa, had a management co. looking after it and they assured us they would pick the renters carefully. The house was immaculate. They rented it out to 3 young guys that worked for the local pizza hut, you can imagine, soaked the bathroom floor till it was about to fall in! We came back and sold it, I would never rent out again. Heard so many bad stories.