Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Yogin glad your relationship with your neighbour has improved. Fancy never knew water melon could be used to broker peace. Putin could do with some. ?

I regularly declutter, but I'm sure my stuff breeds - a month later, I'm just as cluttered. My DH bitterly remarks that he didn't realise a fitted bedroom meant I have 4 wardrobes and most of the drawers, while he squeezes his stuff into cramped spaces lol ?

put things not out things or maybe that was a Freudian slip.

Sorry...

But you took a thread about abusive that there hadn't been any arguments on and turned it into a random odd discussions and humour?

After a comment about how EPs have it worse?

Why punish all EAC for the actions of 1?

Most EAC avoid this thread, including me. What is wrong with affording the same courtesy?

It makes it sound like threads are being deliberately ruined.

This is why I'm taking a break, wish I hadn't looked this morning.

Morning everyone.

Yes, we've had some rather odd and amusing conversations else where haven't we DL.

If we ever decide to move and still have our flat, it will be a lot less stressful for sure Allsorts. No worries about finding somewhere to go because we'll already have somewhere, and we can take our time sorting through all our possessions.

I often think when we're at our lodge, how little we actually need in comparison to what we've got. That's the downside with a large house for just two people, plenty of space to out things you don't really need.

I can certainly see the benefit of renting before you buy Whiff. We had everything in storage while waiting to complete on this house and it was very expensive but it did rid us of the pressure of having to empty the house 'on the day' which I think's one of the worse things about moving.

You handled your neighbour brilliantly Yogin. Even if you'll never be friends, a polite exchange and not having that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see them, makes all the difference.

Whiff. It did get unpleasant, and I expect these sudden people have come from another site to cause problems.?

They thrive on upset and reactions.

However, we did manage to turn it to humour yesterday, with random and odd discussions about passive/aggressive people, violent teachers (from childhood!), and the merits or otherwise of becoming "martyrs" - silent or otherwise.?

All have a nice day.?

Thanks Yogin, 'that is great news, do you think you will like it there now? Info hope so.
I have niggling problems at the moment, the main one, my microwave, the most I have ever spent on one, I've had a few, after two years and two months, so two months out of guarantee, I opened the door and in front of my eyes, the front if it crinkled and split. Panasonic, but it has to be binned, I will by the cheapest one to replace it.

The other is actually getting to speak to tax office, it's easier trying to get through to Mars. If that's what it's like selling up I will go on tranquillisers.
Whiff, Its hard to understand how your once loving son changed, almost in weeks. Others have said the same. No one can say it can't happen to them because a lot of us including me, can honestly say it never entered their heads. You have been very positive despite everything and having a good life.We can't let it rule the rest ofour lives. Now Madgran has mentioned the coast I'm desperate to see the sea can feel a holiday beckoning.

Thank you Allsorts
I have made up with my upstairs neighbour, on that terribly hot day last week, he was out doing a little gardening [he seems to do 1/2hr most days now] I went out and said he shouldn't be out in this heat! The next day he was there again, so I went out and gave him a slice of water melon. Couple of days later he gave me half of a huge water melon that someone had given him saying he'd never get through it, so we are on good terms now [although I still don't like him] And the parking seems ok now too, always get a spot over the rd to the right, the house is up for sale, so maybe they have already moved, leaving more parking spaces.

There is a good thread on moving, that Whiff & I are both on, called 'Help calm me I'm moving' or something like that. Best of luck with the move, it's not easy & takes a long time to complete, even if all goes well.

I know some who rented so their house sale went through and it gave them time to find exactly where they wanted to live. Ok it means moving twice but if you are down sizing you will have gotten rid of all the things you don't want before going into the rental but still have all your things with you. And saves on storage costs if you rent unfurnish. Plus you know your things are safe being with you.

There are several ways to sell the normal route via estate agent. Modern auction and these companies that buy any house. This way you don't get the true value of your home but at least it's sold quickly. If my house sale had fallen through for a third time I had decided to sell to a company that buys any house. But would have fought for a fairer price than I know they would have wanted to pay. Where I lived was very sort after.

Glad I stick with this thread as other estrangement threads are getting nasty . Never seen so many deleted messages on threads. Lots of new posters but some start off nicely and quickly turn nasty. Why what is the point? All it does is hurt people who are already hurting. Estranged parents in my view lose more . Not only their child or children but grandchildren as well. While estranged adult children just lost parents which is their choice.

In my case my son has ditched all our side of the family along with me. After he's dad death my children only had contact with their nan. After she died we had no contact with his dad's family but they where no loss . As they weren't a nice lot.

My brother is deeply hurt by my son and doesn't understand what he did apart from being my brother. They never had a cross word. Though if my brother saw him now there would be plenty.

As I have said before my in laws where awful. But my husband loved them even though he didn't like them and because of the man he was he would never give up on them . Because of my love for him neither did I and even after his death never gave up on his mom. Would have been easy to do, but I don't do easy it's not who I am. Many a time when his dad was alive I had cut the visit short if they had gone to far . I walked out and waited by the car until my husband was ready to leave. But we still went back the next week. Only ever did that once when we had our daughter . It was the day we told them I was expecting again and his mother's brother and sister in law where there. His dad was overjoyed his mother just looked at me and said she's only got pregnant because her friend has. We had been trying for 6 months my friends pregnancy was due to a burst condom. I walked out with our daughter and walked round to my parents. They only lived a few roads from eachother. But we where there the next week as always. She never apologised and his dad never said anything . Only good thing about his dad he loved his grandchildren seems we finally did something right in his eyes. He died when our son was 8 months old and daughter 4. As I have said before my mother in-law took against her only granddaughter from when she was a baby because she cried when she held her . She was all our son until he got his own mind. But saying that neither gave up on her before or after my husband's death. She even knew our children's future spouses. She refused to go to either of their weddings. Wild horses couldn't have stopped my mom from being there .

At my daughter's wedding she danced until 1.30am . She then stood on some steps while we waited for a taxi singing with some Liverpudlians the Bill Shankley song. And she had only had one small drink. Have a lovely photo of her dancing with my son laughing. But can't bear to look at it.

At my son's wedding 4 years later she danced until 10.30 but got tired my daughter and son in law took her to the hotel so I could stay until the end.

Mom got to see my brother and sister in law get married the September before she died. And yes she danced. But we came away at 9.3O because she was tired. My son and daughter in law didn't go as my daughter in law was pregnant and said the journey would be to much for her. It was until the estrangement my daughter and brother told me the real reason. To people if you don't want to be shown as liars don't post things on Facebook. My son and daughter in law went to a friend's wedding and posted pictures of them dancing. Because my daughter and brother knew I would be hurt they kept it from me for years. My brother wasn't bothered but knew my mom and I would have been hurt by the lie.

I suppose I am remembering more things as it's 2 years in a couple if weeks since I knew the estrangement was permanent. From when I had his email after my birthday there was still hope as he said give him time. But sending back the birthday cards and presents back all unopened with that letter made it final.

But that was his choice not mine. I have never given up on anyone .

Madgran, enjoy your holiday and fish and chips. Whiff I would enjoy your craft group, I take it a piece if fruit cake is 1 of your 5 a day.
Smileless, you are in a very good position if you were to move, I think if I had a flat to move in to I wouldn’t worry, it’s the pressure of letting people down if someone wants your place and you can’t find another. With somewhere to move into the pressure is off. I can see me buying a caravan.?

Whiff
It sounds like you have the same intellectual, high brow discussions as we do. This weeks topic was "which male tennis player has the sexiest legs?" followed by "Is it OK to call your slice of fruit cake one of your 5 a day?"
It's always so relaxing and nice to have a laugh away from problems and housework and I always feel uplifted on the drive home.

And to you Smileless and anyone else who fancies a glass

Whiff

Madgran have a lovely holiday. Plenty sun,sea and hopefully a bottle of something nice to go with your fish and chips.

Thanks Whif

Sounds like I'd fit right in Normandygirl as I can bitch and sew on a button . Back of the hand job is pretty brutal isn't it.

That sounds lovely Madgran enjoy your fish and chips and the wine of course. Here's one to send you on your way and wish you a 'Happy Holiday' .

I've seen examples of your crafting Whiff and would feel very inadequate because you're so good at it.

Madgran have a lovely holiday. Plenty sun,sea and hopefully a bottle of something nice to go with your fish and chips.

Normandygirl don't forget you need to talk about naughty topics. One of our groups daughter popped in after work and was shocked what we were talking about. Started innocently enough taking about a wool holder on base with pole for the wool. As you can image it got a bit blue. Now her daughter says" Are you going to craft group" . ?

Smileless2012

It's horrible isn't it Normandygirl. On one occasion they had to resort to the back of my hand; ouch.

The back of the hand is so painful, I still have a " tender" spot from one of those and it was years ago!
No requirement to be able to craft in our group [ it's taken us 4 years to teach one of our members to sew a button on] though the ability to bitch is held in high regard.

Hello All,

Without mentioning everyone individually, I have read all the recent posts...and hope everyone is ok, dealing with all their various "stuff" in life. Some good news, some not so good but we all seem to keep going in the end through all the ups and downs....

I am off to the coast for a week tomorrow; weather forecast looks good, lovely sea view cottage and I suspect we will be eating lots of fish and chips with a glass of wine! I am certainly looking forward to it, I need a break after a lot of things to deal with recently. I suspect my garden might be like yours by the time I get back though NormandyGirl!! Its a shame isn't it.

Smiles if nothing shocks you you would fit into our group perfectly. One of our band came because she wanted to learn to crochet and the others have taught her and how to read a pattern . She's very good even though she doesn't think so.

I'll have to remember that Whiff, wonder why no one I've seen's ever thought of that, or maybe they have and it wasn't any better.

'Stitch 'n' Bitch' sounds just right for me, apart from the fact that I'm pretty useless as crafting. Quite good a bitching though or so I've been told.

Mom's veins disappeared as well. They found using a child's needle made it easy to get her blood.

My craft group is just called Crosby library craft group. As we met in the library Thursday afternoon 1 until 3. Hot drink and biscuits which we take in and have a cupboard to keep our supplies in. I take home made cake or biscuits every couple of weeks. I had only lived here a week when I joined. Really miss it when Covid hit. But so glad it started again. Our age range is 30-80+. 15 in our group but not everyone can come every week. We share any spare craft supplies and books with eachother. I love it. We have a closed what's app group so keep in touch rest of the time.

DerbyshireLass hope you have a rest now. I found it tiring decluttering . But started packing early because of doing it on my own. Used the children's rooms to store them in. Had made a list of furniture that had to go and got it gone out of the way. Found large charities picky but the smaller charities didn't refuse anything. Once moved found I had brought things with me I didn't need . So Emmaus took all the things including my freezer and fridge when I had the new kitchen.

Whiff Does your craft group have a name? Ours is
Stitch 'n' Bitch and our friendly rivals are Knit 'n' Natter.
Both groups meet once a week , and there is always homemade cake involved. I hope you get the love and support from yours that I get from mine [ and the cake of course!]

Thanks for the update DSL, maybe they're on GN.

It's horrible isn't it Normandygirl. On one occasion they had to resort to the back of my hand; ouch.

I can totally relate to the invisible veins. I once accompanied my DH to his blood test and I was gobsmacked by how quick the whole thing was , over in seconds. My experiences are very different, lots of "tries", various arms and legs involved and ending up with me apologising for being difficult.