Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Morning everyone. Mr. S. has had his first negative test this morning and I'm not due to test until tomorrow. Still feeling rough so not expecting to get a negative result tomorrow but will wait and see.

At least he can drop the dogs off for their groom this afternoon, he's going to wear a mask, will keep his distance and wont hang around. We'll go to our lodge tomorrow as planned as we can keep ourselves to ourselves just as we do at home.

He wouldn't have isolated from me Whiff, even though the house is certainly big enough to have enabled it, we're retired and always expected that if one of us got it, the other would too. Anyway its enabled me to tell everyone how mean he is to have given me his germs.

don't think the conditions for HGV drivers have changed Yogin. My friends s.i.l. is one, loves driving so enjoys the job but the rules and regs. are very strict.

Depends on the vampires Allsorts Antonio Banderas and Tom Cruise in 'Interview with a Vampire' for example , not bad images when drifting off to sleep.

The cruise sounds great DSL and a bargain to boot. Think I'll have to give Bodies a miss as my stomach has its limits.

Sorry to hear your son's reply wasn't too good Hugs sounds like a 'par for the course' sort of reply from our estAC that we all got at some point. Best of luck in your house hunting.

Yes Pixie get some screening put up for some privacy on your balcony. I've ordered some trellis with leaves on to put up over my small garden gate, it looked good online, my daughter & my neighbour next door have it up, it looks good.

Whiff - although your post was not addressed to me I found your comments about HGV drivers not very encouraging - a relative of mine is due to start work as an HGV driver so I hope his experience will be a lot happier than your son/brother. Regards.

Sorry to hear you and Mr.S are unwell Smiles, hope you are feeling better today. I'm still catching up on all the post, pages 3&4 still to read. I'm now stuck on trying to down load Norton virus protection with Plusnet, they swapped from MacAfee. Norton asked me to let them into my laptop to upload it, but I refused as last time I did that it was a scam!!

Well I hope things have changed in the last 7yrs Whiff those conditions wouldn't suit my son. Yes a lot of money to take the test alone is £400+

Allsorts like Hugh Jackman not Christopher Lee. Lot better than sheep ?

DSL so your cruise us 2024 and not 2023,/you should be safely moved by then and it does sound good.
I don’t think I could watch Bodies, I loved Line of Duty and Sherwood, that’s as gritty as I can cope with, in fact McDonald and Dobbs is more up my street. I close my eyes and ears at violence.
Why aren’t sheep good enough Whiff, Vampires and the like would have me with the light on.
Running short on my vegetarian meals, keep picturing that chicken Smileless .

Good Morning everyone.....

Grrrrr just lost the post I was typing. Lol

May....great news. Just hang in there, you are doing all the right things, As for shame...well it's your sons shame, not yours. Don't shoulder his shame, just concentrate on getting well.

It's not selfish to put our health needs first. If we don't assume responsibility for our health and well being then no one else will. We only get one body, one brain, we need to look after them.

This is currently my focus, I have upped my self care, eating well, plenty of sleep and rest and daily gentle exercise. I am starting to feel the benefits. Sleeping better, pain levels coming down. Slow but steady progress.

"the Compound Effect". Small changes, done consistently, will, over time, produce massive change.

I have booked my cruise with P&0 using an intermediary called Passion for Cruises. First time with PFC and first time with P&O so can't say what they are like.

It's for new year 23/24. A long way ahead yet but such a great deal. 14 nights £1086 solo occupancy. At that price it would have been rude not to. ??. It's round the coast of Spain, calling in at Vigo, Barcelona, Valencia, etc then over to Gibraltar and then Lisbon. It wont be bikini weather of course but it should be a pleasant break from the mid winter gloom.

As I said it's a long way off (18 months) but it's a start. I am determined to start broadening my horizons - literally. I haven't planned anything for this year yet. Its a bit difficult with the house sale and all but I'm sure I will find a last minute deal once I've moved.

It's all part of my master plan......more travel, more socialising,........just get out and about a lot more. I'm done with pouring all my time, energy and money into a house and garden which are too big for my needs, I'm done letting grief and sorrow overshadow my life and I'm done awaiting my sons pleasure.

I am reinventing myself.....no more lonely widow, time to rise up like a Phoenix out of the ashes and create a new and interesting life. Always wanted to be a "A lady of Leisure". Well now's the time. ?

Had my computer lesson yesterday.... it's nice to be using my brain and learning new stuff. Definitely something to think about for winter.....sewing classes, language classes. Get the old grey matter working again. There's so much world out there, and I intend to be part of it again.

Yogin.....what a shame about your neighbour. Neighbours are an unknown quantity, you never know what you are going to get. Hopefully he'll get bored soon and leave you alone.

Smiles. Hope you and Mr S are doing well.

I finished "Bodies". Bit of an upbrupt ending but a great series. It's a strange one. the BBC made it 2004-2006 but for some reason it was hidden away on BBC 3 . Despite being voted by the Guardian as one of the best top 20 tv series of all time and winning lots of awards it was never shown on the main channels. It just sort of languished and has only fairly recently surfaced again, gradually gathering momentum now that it's been released on Iplayer and Netflix,

Perhaps it was held back because of its gritty realism. As I said you do need a strong stomach. But there's also a strong seam of dark humour among all the blood and gore. But it's certainly up there with Jed Mercurios other dramas. My friend who is a retired midwife says it's spot on in its depiction of life on obstetrics and gynaecology words.

Right time to get cracking and start the day. Bit dull and a bit drizzle. Will do the gardens good. ?

May this my sound odd but to clear my head to get to sleep I make up a story and write it in my head I soon nod off. I like fantasy books so my stories don't laugh include vampires ,werewolves and other fantasy creatures . When I wake to go to the loo in the night I am automatic pilot and still asleep so just nod straight off.

Yes I think it may come out alright but I still feel very ashamed of him and no contact from daughter I just hope she is ok and will calm down soon. I'm just waiting patiently and biding my time. Night time is the worst I can busy myself in the day

DSL what cruise where is your cruise to? You will enjoy it. I am going to book one.
Glad to see you back Whiff, not the same without you.
Yoga, I do hope the man upstairs mellows.
Your flat ticks so many boxes and you never know what your new neighbours will be like if you moved again, . Perhaps in time things will settle, I do hope so, you deserve it. Having looked for years for somewhere I am now wondering whether to just make the best of what I have, where’ve I move it’s Sll my attitude to it.as for using your son, put a brace on his hand and say he’s out of action for a few weeks.
May, that’s really good news, it will all come out alright.

with a rating of 11 I'll give it a go DSL.

Glad you had such a great time with your friend Whiff. You certainly had the weather for it.

What a pain hugshelp. Even if she went to a small claims court there's no guarantee she'll get her money back if she wins so probably best to let it go.

Oh dear Yogin it does sound as if your son's good nature is being taken advantage of. Does he know that this man ignores you? If he enjoys driving then being a lorry driver sounds ideal.

That is good news May you must be so relieved.

Not feeling too bad today but worn out even though I'm not doing anything. Cooked our [roast chicken] dinner yesterday and that just drained me, still we both enjoyed it so it was worth it. Thankfully we haven't lost our sense of taste.

Making a soup from the carcass now and with cold chicken for our evening meal, an easier day cooking wise. So another day in front of the tv. Thank goodness Wimbledon's started.

Yogin your son is in for a shock being a HGV driver is very stressful ,hard work and long hours. Both my son and my brother was a HGV before taking early retirement due to my sister in law's health declining.

I know when my son learnt it cost him £1,100 that's was 7 years ago. He couldn't get a full time job with a company until he had done agency work for 2 years. No company will take anyone on full until they do. Before the estrangement my son started work at 2-3 am and did a 12 hour shift 5 days a week . He had Fridays and Saturdays off. He had to be in bed by 8pm . There are very strict rules about sleep ,breaks and getting to drop off for a set time. Plus you can't eat anything with poppy seeds in as it shows up on the random drug tests as an illegal substance. My son will be 35 this year . He found the job exhausting but it fit in with family life. He was a chef before.

My brother worked Monday to Friday but he drove all over the country and had to sleep in his lorry 4 nights a week. If he ran out of hours he had to sleep anyway he could pull over and not at truck stops. He cooked in his lorry. My brother stopped work in October 2020. He always said he was an old man doing a young man's job he will be 63 this year.

Both of them used to get filthy and both had accidents . Falling off the lorry and things falling and hitting them.

Think your son is in for a rude awakening . How old is he?

I haven't told you to frightened you but your son is delusional. He is better off finding a safe job in his field.

Sorry about your neighbour still causing you problems. That was my only fear moving that I wouldn't like the neighbours . But couldn't wish for better ones. When my friend was here last week she said is your neighbours in I said yes . Where she lives she can here the neighbours both sides all the time . Even though the primary school is only on the next road and I live 4 bungalows away the road isn't noisy at drop off or pick up times. Even though my road is full of parents cars at those times.

May very glad you have heard from your granddaughter's. I hope hearing from them has lifted your spirits.

Pixie you are a better woman than me. Since my son stated zero contact I haven't sent a card to any of them for birthday, Christmas or Easter. Nor received any but I didn't expect to.

He only knows about the HPX because he can be tested to see if he has the mutant gene or he is a carrier. Had to let him know that. But had no response when I sent him the letter . He doesn't know about my heart as he knew I was having problems and being tested when he decided he no longer wanted me. So it shows he doesn't careless about me.

I did toy with the idea of opening a savings account for my 3 grandson's but decided not to waste my money anyway don't even know the name of my grandson their youngest. May sound hard hearted but I have done nothing to deserve to be treated this way. I will concentrate on those who love and care for me.

Estrangement is hideous and cruel.

Smiles hope you and Mr S aren't getting any worse. At least both of you having it means you don't have to isolate one of you. When my son in law had it in April he isolated in their bedroom and only came out when the house was empty and he had all the windows open . My daughter text to say when they would be back so he could disappear. Mind you my grandson loved having mommy for a sleep over.

Going to a vegan restaurant in a garden centre for her birthday lunch . No doubt I will come back with at least one plant.?. Can't resist the poorly plant section. Had some brilliant bargains and the plants have thrived.

Take care all.

Enjoy your holiday Pixie

Nice to hear your good news May haven't read your first post, still catching up.

....He said he just wants a simple job and driving round seeing the countryside sounds good to him. His first job was super stressful!

Pixie you did the right thing re voucher, your estD doesn't even deserve a nice card from her mum either. I stopped all that, cards, presents money in bank and candles lit, all stopped now. So nice to hear about your other son being loving & caring. My son bought a 'new' car as well last month or so. He is on a course to be a, wait for it... a lorry driver! As you may remember he was a mathematical scientise for the m.o.d and had he's works in the papers, but had to stop work after he had an adverse reaction from the 'Swine flu jab'

I've just received a WhatsApp voice message from my granddaughters via my son thanking me for some clothes that I sent this week. The relief was enormous. I've had no contact with my son or daughter so this was enormous at least now I know hes not stopping contact with us and the children. I'll just have to build on that my sleeping has been atrocious all week but I've distracted myself during the day.Still cant believe I've dodged covid Hope you are not too poorly Smileless

Smiles Your dear son lives such a long way from 'home' it's such along journey, as you well know, wish he'd return and live near you again, makes your estrangement harder for you and Mr. S I know. In lock down I bought a pair of black jeans online, put on about a stone in weight and now they go no where near me! thrown in the bottom of the wardrobe collecting dust now

Allsorts

DSL, you only saw your son the weekend, so he is hardly ignoring you. He is probably so busy and doesn’t mean anything by it.
Yoga, you seem to have been unlucky with your upstairs neighbour, he sounds a very bitter man, can you live as you are or will you consider moving again? If you are otherwise happy is there a way to screen his unsightly garden off? It’s so difficult when you move home you could have lovely neighbours each side and one of them could move.

I put a garden gate up Allsorts but as it's a low fence [didn't want to appear too unfriendly] he has asked my son on a daily basis to do jobs for him, it's really bugging me, I've bought a trellis with artificial leaves on that I will attached over the top of the gate and hope he finally stops pestering us, wish I'd bought a taller gate now. He doesn't talk to me, turns his back on me, but is buttering my son up so as to get him to do jobs. We didn't move in to be his daily free maintenance services. It makes me reluctant to ask my son for help when he has already helped our neighbour. I wonder what the next job will be. I gave him a leaflet that came through our door [so he would have got one too] saying 'garden maintenance, no job too small] but still pestering my son every day, even on Sunday! Can't relax in the garden without him asking for a job to be done!

I do want to move Allsorts but can't afford to as cost me 11k to move 4mths ago! A student of mine is down sizing and wants a place just like mine, [ground floor with garden] she said she'd viewed one, same set up as mine, with a split garden, I said don't buy it My garden is big even so; about 20ft x 75ft, with another small plot of land right at the top, which is what I'm working on now, making into a rock garden with archway and concrete garden sit at the entrance and a garden mirror right at the back with louvers.

So I've been really busy in my garden, nearly finished it, just need my son to help me put the archway up [when upstairs gives my son a break] that arrived about 3 weeks ago now, and then all completed. So lots of post to catch up on now. Hope everyone is OK x

So glad your reserve buyer stepped in DSL. A cruise to look forward to sounds marvellous.

I'm glad you had such a lovely time with your friend Whiff. It all sounds great. All that food in your garden sounds fantastic. Have a lovely lunch tomorrow.

Our DD is all moved in, albeit in a state of chaos. We're going over tomorrow to help them with whatever is top of their list. Sounds like she'll only get her money back if she goes to a small claims court and she really doesn't need the stress. So annoying but might as well let it go.

Just finished reading every thing I have missed .

Smiles and Mr S hope you both have a speedy and full recovery. The number of Covid cases are on the rise here. Liked your roof terrace set and the sound of all your purchases.

May glad you found the thread but sorry for what's happened. I can't add any other advise to what you have been given. My nephew has anxiety and panic attacks. He says the panic attacks hit out of the blue. He can be busy and happy and wham it hits. So he just has to ride it out and does the breathing exercises his counsellor taught him. He doesn't sleep well as he says his mind if always in a whirl when he tries to sleep.

It's not just mental illness that family has problems with but if you have a physical condition that to can be hard for them to understand to but thats a discussion for another post .

Allsorts had a wonderful time with my friend . She picked a really hot week to visit. Got to 26°c in my living room. Plus we both over did the walking in the heat. But she loved it here and my bungalow. My friends at my exercise class made her feel welcome . She loved all the people up here. Loved the beach and collected some sea glass. Watching the tide come in and the container ships arriving as the water got deeper was relaxing but hot. She enjoyed her birthday afternoon tea. My daughter and grandsons came Friday morning she was nervous as she doesn't have anyone with young children. But she needn't of worried. The youngest went straight to her and his brother talked no stop. She said my daughter was beautiful and a proper lady.

All to soon it was time to go to the station. Fell asleep on the bus coming home luckily I woke at every stop. But was very tired all weekend.

DerbyshireLass glad the computer course is helping. Downsizing is a lot of work but I am so glad I did. Sorry your buyer pulled out had 2 do that to me. But luckily they kept the bungalow for me. Hopefully you get another buyer soon .

Purplepixie glad you had a good time with your granddaughter's. Hope you have a good time in Newcastle.

Hugshelp sorry your daughter has problems with her vendor. Hopefully she gets the money back she paid for appliances that where taken.

Glad you had an offer accepted . Unfortunately now the hard work and stress really starts. Hope things run smoothly but unfortunately with the English and Welsh buying and selling process it's drawn out,hard and expensive. But it is worth it when you get the keys to your new home and new life.

Yogin how are things going with your horrible neighbour? And has the parking situation improved.

Got tomatoes growing on plants and flowers on my peppers and butternut squashes in the greenhouse. Flowers on my bean plants and courgettes growing. My grandson picked the blueberries on Friday morning and there were enough for 2 each. It's my first year so expect a better harvest next year. My friend took photos of all the plants she wants in her garden.

It's my daughter's birthday tomorrow so out for lunch with her and my youngest grandson. He's brothers at nursery. They are off on holiday on Friday afternoon for a week. Staying in this country.

As you can see back to my rambling self?. Take care all. X

Tbh after being with my poor husband several hours a day whilst he endured 4 months in hospital and 2.1/2 years in a nursing home "blood and gore" no longer affect me.

It's graphic but not gratuitous as such, it's integral to the storytelling.....

11. Lol.

Thank goodness the other buyers are still interested DSL; oh the joys of buying and selling.

A cruise good for you. We were thinking of 'Bodies' yesterday but went for 'Bloodline' instead, Very good. So on a squeamish scale of 1 - 10, how squeamish is it?