Grandson dose not want to know me.

Don’t be ridiculous. Your tiny grandson must be so confused and of course he wants his dad all to himself. He’s hardly doing it to hurt you.

I have said it before and I will say it again.

When people project adult rationalizations on someone who is incapable of making adults rationalizations, in this case a 4 year old, bad things happen.

He is 4. Stop making it about you.

Your last sentence - I no longer feel I want to see him again - is nothing short of pathetic.

This is a bit familiar. Have I read this somewhere before?

It may be best if you do not see him.

I don’t believe a word of it. He/she is trying to real you in.

His daddy left him and went away. Now daddy is back but nothing is the same as it was before, and that little boy is terrified his father will go away again and jealous of his dad’s attention. You need to give him the time and space to learn that dad will be there for him without disappearing again. This will likely be a very long process. This little boy is processing the trauma of abandonment. Step back until he has learned to trust his father again.

Children are usually unable to make these decisions for themselves at this age and say things in the heat of the moment. Take a back seat at visitations and let the boy get to know his father again. Take photos and enjoy the moment where your grandson rediscovers his Dad who I hope is back for good. Gradually your Grandson will accept you again but you have to be patient. This little boy has already been picked up and put down by his Dad, please don't do the same with his relationship with you.

I think you need some help, this isn't healthy thinking.

You can't estrange a 4 year old

Please go and see your doctor

Sigh

I think this is a wind-up. How on earth can anyone ‘estrange’ a 4 year old. Poor baby - ofcourse he wants to be with his Daddy

Hope this is a wind-up, can't believe anyone would actually think like this

Haven’t we had a very similar thread, different poster name, recently ?

Have you noticed the title dose not?

Here we go……

crazyH

Have you noticed the title dose not?

Yes, I thought it was another old thread resurrected.

Perhaps the father went away and came back yet again.

Oh dear !!! Here we go !

Hellomonty

His daddy left him and went away. Now daddy is back but nothing is the same as it was before, and that little boy is terrified his father will go away again and jealous of his dad’s attention. You need to give him the time and space to learn that dad will be there for him without disappearing again. This will likely be a very long process. This little boy is processing the trauma of abandonment. Step back until he has learned to trust his father again.

Exactly.

If you really believe any of this you need to get counselling

Get some help , or grow up !!

That’s a bit harsh Shelflike
I think you ve just got to count your blessings East12 your little grandson has his daddy back and he’s clinging on for dear life terrified he ll go again As for him saying your spoiling his day what he was really wanting to say was ‘please Nan I just want dad and me and no one else cos I m so scared he ll leave me again and I m scared’
Let things settle and I m sure given time you ll be able to resume your relationship

May I respectfully suggest you are getting things way out of proportion.
Who are the most important people to a tiny person?
Parents.
Not grandma.
It’s not all about you and your reaction has left some of us dumbfounded.
As to “spoiling his day” , a year or two back, D was trying to get my 4 year-old GS to hurry up and put on his coat.
We still smile at his reaction - “Mummy you are spoiling my life!”
To say you no longer want to see him again is an appallingly immature and selfish over-reaction.
You are the person who is going to be shedding tears over this.

I am constantly amazed how many foolish women there are about who not only think ;like this but tell us all about it.

At one point in his babyhood my DGS would do a body swerve round me to get to his grandfather and ignore me completely. Welle, I suppose I could have acted as if I was emotionally the same age as my DGS, I just shrugged it off. I mean, I was one of two grandmas and my companion grandma lived nearby. and he saw a lot of her. But DH was his one and only grandpa and he looked like Santa Claus and wore gilets with lots of pockets, so, of course I was an also ran. It lasted about 18 months and then we bonded one day when I helped him build a village out of twigs when out on a woodland walk. He is 12 now and we hven't looked back.

But then I am not needy so do not emote around him.

It seems that east12 has had difficulties with her son and husband in the past so whilst it seems fair to be harsh about her feelings, it may well be the straw that broke the camel's back for her.
I think, in the long term, you would regret cutting your Grandson off and you sound like you need help processing your feelings about all the issues you face with your family.