Gransnet forums

Estrangement

Arrested

(55 Posts)
Tinytotx2 Mon 14-Nov-22 06:55:22

My son and his wife stopped all contact from me. But welcomed other members of my family even some of my friends who have also cut me off since befriending my son and dil
I took advice and sent my grandchildren birthday cards etc but they sent out a warrant out for my arrest for sending birthday cards . I was devastated I've never been in a police station, let alone ever broken the law.
So now I'm at a loss what to do what if my grandchildren are missing me and asking if they can see me? What if they are as upset as I am about not seeing them?. You'll all be wondering what I've done to cause this....well hopefully you will believe me when I say I do not know!
I baby sat, looked after them while my son and dil worked etc, took the children on outings . I did what grandparents do . My son and dil never said I was doing anything wrong or anything
they wouldnt do
Does anyone have any ideas how to get to solve this mess please. I miss them so much ?

Norah Mon 14-Nov-22 14:12:57

GagaJo

Norah

Tinytotx2 My son and his wife stopped all contact from me.

I took advice and sent my grandchildren birthday cards etc but they sent out a warrant out for my arrest for sending birthday cards

Perhaps you took bad advice? Just quit sending cards, end of.

Quite harsh. This is her children and grandchildren she's talking about.

end of is quite a cruel thing to say.

If we aren't able to show compassion, maybe we shouldn't comment. Regardless of circumstances, this is a fellow mum/granny.

I disagree. But I would, I wrote my opinion.

If she was arrested or could be arrested - best is stopping the behaviour leading to the arrests!! Thus - end of.

I'd not want to be arrested for a card. I'd quit sending.

GagaJo Mon 14-Nov-22 14:07:43

Norah

Tinytotx2 My son and his wife stopped all contact from me.

I took advice and sent my grandchildren birthday cards etc but they sent out a warrant out for my arrest for sending birthday cards

Perhaps you took bad advice? Just quit sending cards, end of.

Quite harsh. This is her children and grandchildren she's talking about.

end of is quite a cruel thing to say.

If we aren't able to show compassion, maybe we shouldn't comment. Regardless of circumstances, this is a fellow mum/granny.

notgran Mon 14-Nov-22 14:02:37

"Does anyone have any ideas how to get to solve this mess please. I miss them so much ?" I'm afraid no one at Gransnet would be able to advise you. You may miss them but sad to say, that is not reciprocated. Please just concentrate on making a happier life for yourself without them.

Norah Mon 14-Nov-22 13:51:52

Tinytotx2 My son and his wife stopped all contact from me.

I took advice and sent my grandchildren birthday cards etc but they sent out a warrant out for my arrest for sending birthday cards

Perhaps you took bad advice? Just quit sending cards, end of.

Katie59 Mon 14-Nov-22 13:17:26

You don’t get arrested in the UK for sending birthday cards, there is more to it.
You might get a police visit if you disobeyed a non contact court order, or sent abusive messages, we are only hearing part of the story.

BlueBelle Mon 14-Nov-22 13:01:40

*Tinytotx2 Fri 10-Jun-16 10:27:32
I look after my 2 g/c aged 4 & 5 30 to 36 hours per week including an overnight stay. I tried to negotiate a little me time but got shot down in flames when i called looking after the g/c a favour.. my son said its not a favour and that i should want to....obviously i do want too but now he wont talk to me*

This is what you wrote in 2016 if you really can’t remember I think you do need to visit your doctor
The title of the thread was CHILDMINDING. and you had a lot of helpful answers

nanna8 Mon 14-Nov-22 12:30:35

Presumably they have a restraining order out on you ? If this is the case do not go near them just live your own life and hope that one day things might improve.

25Avalon Mon 14-Nov-22 12:26:12

Last posting and this time we have all jumped to Tinytoxt2 defence and offered sympathy and support. I do wonder, however, what the other side of the story is that we don’t get to hear? There are always 2 sides.

notgran Mon 14-Nov-22 12:25:36

Tinytotx2

I haven't Been a member that long. I think you may have me mixed up with someone else but thankyou so much for your input

Tinytotx As you will see others also have seen your 2016 post and quoted from it. Not really a way to get any sympathy or advice on here, if you are going to be economical with the truth. In fact, it could make us feel sympathy for your son and his wife. Please just look after yourself and don't do anything else that could land you in trouble.

Dee1012 Mon 14-Nov-22 12:13:47

I think there needs to be more background here as you'd never normally be sent a warrant over birthday cards....
Had you been asked to stop sending items previously etc?

Namsnanny Mon 14-Nov-22 11:54:00

I have read of caution being given for contact (sending cards and letters can be claimed as contact) which is in turn viewed as harassment.
I think you have to be arrested to be given a caution.
So may be that is the case here?

Tinytotx2 I'm sorry you are going through this awful experience.flowers
Could you have posted before and forgotten perhaps?

Smileless2012 Mon 14-Nov-22 11:50:40

For your own sake Tinytot you need to accept the situation for what it is. As things stand you wont be seeing your son and his family so you need to make a life without them.

I'm not saying it's easy, I know it isn't. We're fast approaching the 10th anniversary of being estranged by our youngest son and from our only GC.

We did send the children cards for Christmas and birthdays but made the decision to stop a few years ago. We still buy them they're in a memory box with other items, which has been left to them in my will so I know one day they will get them.

Maybe you could the same.

Hithere Mon 14-Nov-22 11:30:44

There has to be way more to the story than this- getting arrested for sending cards doesnt make much sense

Did you have a warning from them to stop? A restraining order? Lawyers involved?
I wonder what kind of cards and how often, the messages in them

Hithere Mon 14-Nov-22 11:24:37

OP,

I worry that you still do not know what to do, isnt it clear?

Let.them.be,leave.them.alone

You do need professional help to ease your mind

If you wrote the 2016 post, the concerns that som and dil had are for their son's safety while he was in your care (baby food and soon)

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 14-Nov-22 11:20:17

For an arrest warrant….

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 14-Nov-22 11:19:34

If what you are doing is construed as Harassment or Stalking, then you can be arrested for it, I wouldn’t think the odd card would be the cause of an arrest warrant.

BlueBelle Mon 14-Nov-22 10:21:14

The title is ARRESTED and poster says she was sent a warrant for her arrest for sending a birthday card !!! I don’t get it I m afraid

BlueBelle Mon 14-Nov-22 10:15:14

Which was 6 years ago lemsip are we to believe this upheaval has been going on for 6 years ?

Shelflife Mon 14-Nov-22 09:54:33

Speechless!!! What is going on here?

lemsip Mon 14-Nov-22 09:09:13

you posted in 2016. Here it

Tinytotx2 Fri 10-Jun-16 10:27:32
I look after my 2 g/c aged 4 & 5 30 to 36 hours per week including an overnight stay. I tried to negotiate a little me time but got shot down in flames when i called looking after the g/c a favour.. my son said its not a favour and that i should want to....obviously i do want too but now he wont talk to me is,,,,

25Avalon Mon 14-Nov-22 09:01:20

What was written in the card? Could the son and dil have construed it as hate Mail and reported it as such? The police are very keen to act on hate crimes whilst burglaries go unheeded.

annsixty Mon 14-Nov-22 08:51:54

I do remember a regular poster a few years ago also being arrested.
I can’t remember her name now, this was probably 10 years ago but arrests for harassment were happening then.
If you can OP just leave things alone.

MerylStreep Mon 14-Nov-22 08:41:17

In days of yore I would have said that this couldn’t happen without a restraining order being issued.
But we live in different times Re police arrests.

Juliet27 Mon 14-Nov-22 08:37:53

Ah yes notgran I see the June 2016 discussion you mean under Grandparenting

BlueBelle Mon 14-Nov-22 08:32:28

This is very strange how can you be arrested for sending a birthday card ?? This doesn’t sound right What country are you living in ?
Has this all been going on since 2016 ? 6 nearly 7 years ago The children must be heading up to 11,12 now what’s been happening in the 6 years since you started that thread?

You now say My son and dil never said I was doing anything wrong or anything but in your previous thread they never said you did anything right !!! That’s what the whole thread was about all the things you were supposed to have done wrong

Do consider seeing a doctor tinytots