Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

DiamondLily So hard for you all. The photo frame, personalised, is a lovely thoughtful and insightful thing to do. [ flowers]

Good that it was returned Yogin, maybe as you say a child took it home for their mum.

DiamondLily the photo frame is a lovely idea. Is sad for your family when by rights a new baby should be a source of joy. I hope you and your daughter at least know the babies name and date of birth. And get frequent photos of her.

I couldn't bear the thought of my son's youngest not having a name as he didn't tell me or let me know when he was born . All I knew he was due in July 2020. So I have give him a name . The only photo of him is a 20 week scan picture. But I imagine he looks like his brothers.

I am lucky enough to see my daughter's boys each week and because all 5 of my grandson's are very close in ages I see what my other grandsons would be doing. In ages my grandson's with my son where born in 2016, (1st oldest),2018(3rd oldest) and 2020(4th oldest). And my grandson's with my daughter are 2018(2nd oldest) and 2020(5th youngest).

At craft group my gingerbread rocks as I call them all went quickly . Should be rolled out and cut into shapes. But can't use a rolling pin. Only time they get cut out is when my grandson does it . He's a dab hand and mixing,rolling and cutting out. My daughter still says her youngest is a liability in the kitchen . But hopefully soon I can bake with him.
I just spoon the mixture onto the baking trays. Hopefully the library is open the day before good Friday if it is then I will make brownies to take . I can get a cake or biscuit mix into the over under 10 mins. Have plenty of short cuts no faffing about.

At least my sciatica is all better. So glad I brought the electric heat pad.

Will need to harvest some of my veg in the greenhouse this weekend . And check my seed packets to see when they need to be planted. Over Easter I will re varnish my garden bench ready for the going out. Lovely to see so much colour in the garden .

Well have a busy week ahead keeps me out of mischief😁.

Hope you are are all well . Sure we have to change the clocks this weekend. Have to check which way.

Morning everyone. I have the entire day to myself as Mr. S. has gone bowling for the day, an event in memory of a club member who died just a few weeks ago.

That's the beauty of having our lodge where it is, far enough away for a complete change but near enough so he doesn't miss bowling.

Great news about your sciatica Whiff and a good thing too as you seem to have lot on your list of things to do.

I'll be pottering around here today before we go home tomorrow. It's always a bit strange coming back in March when we've not been here since November as you're never sure who else is returning until you see them.

Very sadly, one couple wont be back. He passed away at the beginning of the year and his wife has the early signs dementia.
I'm going to miss seeing them around especially her as she was always out cutting the grass around their caravan and would water the plants of her neighbours when they weren't here.

We debated about when to have our lodge drained down in case we wanted to come in December and/or January. December's not good for me because of choir commitments even though I missed 3 out 4 anyway because I was ill, but we did think about New Year.

So pleased we decided on the end of November as the extreme cold caused quite a few problems. One of our neighbours had a leak and some water damage from their washing machine, and the other despite turning off the water (we do every time we go home) and opening the taps, had to replace their shower because it exploded!!! They forgot to leave the tap that supplies the shower open.

One unfortunate couple were completely flooded, but thankfully the insurance company paid out as this site was open, only closing one month a year in February so not having the caravan drained down didn't invalidate their insurance.

All the owners knew in December what had happened as the on site manager checked every single caravan and lodge due to the extreme cold.

Didn't know he did that and it's reassuring to know. We'll keep airing on the side of caution and having a professional drain down at the end of November.

To say I'd be gutted if we ever got water damage would be an understatement.

Whiff - yes, I do know her name, and date of birth. I've had them engraved on the frame, and put the photo my GS sent me when she was born.

It is sad - that little girl would have been loved by everyone, but it's what it is, so no point of getting upset about it. All I can do is support DD, SIL, and GS.

Hope everyone well 💐

Morning everyone. It's a lovely sunny morning here but very cold.

Got back home yesterday but will be off again on Sunday as we're having the decking on our roof terrace removed and replaced due to some issues with water ingress into the two bedrooms below.

They're coming next week, not sure when exactly, so we need to bring everything into the kitchen diner. Quite a few heavy planters so don't want to be taking them down stairs and through the house.

The decking will be removed, the roof cleaned, hopper moved as it's current position is one cause of the problem and then will be left for a week to ensure all is well before the new composite decking is laid.

Our kitchen will be out of action because of the amount of planters etc and I wont be able to let the dogs out there until the new decking's installed.

So we'll be off again but this time to our flat as it's nearer to home and Mr. S. will be here while the workman are working.

It'll be a huge relief once it's done despite the high cost which of course we'd never have anticipated. Just having the problem investigated and knowing what's causing it has given us peace of mind and once finished, painting and repairing one section of plaster will deal with the damage that's been done.

It's very sad DiamondLily. A little girl who could have been surrounded by a loving and supportive family will miss out but as you say, it is what it is.

Well, yes, in an ideal world, things could have been different.

My GS took paternity leave to see/bond with his daughter, but that fell apart the moment they left hospital.

He hadn't seen her now for 10 days,

The adoptive mother (adoptive gran) doesn't want anyone seeing the baby, but she works, and is an active Jehovah's Witness, out with meetings and door knocking a lot, so I think she could at least allow her grandchild's father to visit when she's out,

But, it looks like legal route time. Sigh.🙄

My heart goes out to him DiamondLily. When there are young men who refuse to step up and take responsibility, it's a terrible shame that this young man is being prevented from doing so.

Yep, it's all so wearing, and no doubt will be expensive. Oh, jeez, people are odd. I think the adoptive grandmother just wants the baby - she's never had a child, never had a long term relationship, and it seems that she's found a way to "have" a baby.

The only good thing is that social services turned up, apparently, on the back of reports, by agencies and me, and are monitoring things.😗

DiamondLily glad you know your great granddaughter's name and date of birth. I feel sorry for her as she will be growing up in a Jehovah's witnesses house. So no birthday or Christmas presents or cards for her. Or vaccines .Unless they have changed since my husband was alive. He worked for a long time with a man who was a Jehovah witnesses and when he found out their believe about birthdays and Christmas he made sure to give him a present and card for birthday and Christmas for his son from when he was born. Glad to say the man did let his son have them but that's all he had . As an atheist I don't normally comment on people's religious beliefs but to deny a child birthday and Christmas presents is so wrong. It's part of growing up . Also no vaccines or blood transfusions is just irresponsible.

My dad was funny when a Jehovah's witness came to the door he used to chase them up the drive shouting blood donor and proud of it. He was so mad when he had his heart attack that he couldn't give blood again. He had given 74 and wanted to get the plaque for giving 75. He was O negative and was needed for what was called blue babies when he first gave. Don't know what the real medical term was. My son is O negative he did start to give blood but of course no idea if he still does.

When I had my hysterectomy when I was 38 needed 4 bags of blood so my husband gave blood but he used to pass out everytime but gave it 10 times then stopped he said he wanted to give more than I received. My brother was a blood donor but had to stop after his mini stroke and heart trouble but his son and daughter give blood.

Funny how someone mentions something and it triggers memories for me.

Smiles hopefully the weather will stay dry to get your roof done. My daughter and son in law had their loft room made into a bedroom/ office just need the new window putting in then it can be signed off by the council and they can decorate and finish it off. But the roofer is being a pain and won't give them a date plus the weather has been awful lately. They have the window it in the room. Mind you the council planner insisted every room in the house has fire doors it's cost them a fortune. Especially as he said they had to be be a certain make. My daughter thinks his getting a kick back from the manufacturer. Plus they couldn't get all the doors from one supplier and ended up ordering for 3 places . Thankfully they are all fitted just need the window doing . But doesn't look if it will be done before they go away next week on holiday for a week.

Well the increase of Clonazepam has worked I no longer have planks attached to my legs so making walking easier still have all my usual problems but I can bend my knees walking. Bliss. Have a good day everyone.

DiamondLil, Is an awful situation for your grandson and fir his family. Like Whiff I do hope the baby won’t be bought up as a Jehovah’s Witness, can’t find anything good to say about them, my father married one, worst thing he ever did, she tried to convert him and got nasty when she couldn’t, resented him having contact with his family, her way or no way. I don’t care what religion or not people have but not when it’s about control. I’m afraid your grandson is on a very difficult path, which is horrible for a young man that just wants to do the right thing and love and contribute to his daughter although so young.
Smileless you and MrS are marvellous the way you manage to look after 3 properties, you need to come here and organise me.
Glad you’re feeling better Whiff, that the tablets have worked. I’ve had this virus for three weeks now and it shows no sign of clearing, no energy and awful cough. Think I need some sun.

Yes, I'm not into any religion, although I respect the beliefs of others, but I find JW's completely bizarre.

We've got an elderly neighbour who's a JW - she's always trying to recruit us. Afraid it falls on stony ground here. Not interested in any of them.🙄

My only memory of them is telling them to sling their hook, in the days when they were always door-knocking,

This adoptive mother is very devout though. According to Miss Dysfunctionality, she never celebrated Christmas or birthdays. She holds a lot of meetings in her house.

The "adoptive mother" has never been married, never had a child, just lived for her religion - I'm surprised, if I'm honest, that Social Services, years ago, thought this a good placement for a young child that had already been neglected and abused by her birth parents.🤔

I wonder if some of her possessiveness about this baby, refusing to allow any visits, and it is over the top, is because she's looking at this at her one and only chance of a baby to rear. It's all very weird.

However, after my letter, and reports from the police, ambulance service, hospital, Social Services are monitoring the whole thing, which feels a good thing.

Meanwhile, my GS hasn't seen this child since the hospital discharge 13 days ago. Obviously, nor has anyone else from the family.🙁

Have to wait and see, I suppose.

Great news that the increase in medication is having positive results Whiff.

I do wonder about the extensive list of requirements for building regulations as they seem to depend in which council area you're in. The banding for EPC ratings which is set to make any property not a C or above by 2028 is really going to hit the rental market.

We had a ton of work done on our flat with a lot of internal wall insulation at huge expense. There's no gas supply to the premises and despite installing very efficient electric heaters, unless we have one in the living room as a storage heater, and have a dual meter installed for night time and day time rates, we wouldn't be able to rent it out after 2028 even if we wanted too.

Our heating in our old house was storage heaters using Economy 7 which was OK, but it's not very good for anyone out at work all day as by the evening, the heaters are beginning to cool down.

Happy to help Allsorts but you seem pretty well organised to me.

Maybe she kept the extent of her commitment to her religion to herself DiamondLily and/or being religious was seen as a positive. Her possessiveness over the child that isn't even her's is disconcerting to say the least.

Her adoptive mother's behaviour and being neglected and abused by her birth parents go some way to explain Miss D's behaviour and attitude.

What chance do they really have of a normal life with such an awful up bringing? Your GS may be young and this little girl unplanned but together with the love and support of his family, he wants to be there for his D and you may be the only supportive and 'normal' influence she'll have in her formative years.

Thank goodness SS are keeping an eye on the situation

Yes, and to be fair, we did always feel sorry for the girl - she did have a rotten start, and her mother picked a violent man over the four very small children.

But, she is so damaged, and I can't see that changing. She's had counselling from the age of 8 and she's still a nightmare - she is extreme to beyond anything I understand, and, frankly, I can't stand being around her.

Yes, I'm glad SS are keeping an eye out with her - although I have got visions of it all ending in tears. I don't think she's capable of being any sort of good parent.🙁

You all tried DiamondLily in extremely difficult, well impossible circumstances .

DiamondLily hopefully your grandson will get to see his daughter. At least with social services keeping an eye on them first sight of trouble the baby will be safe. Seems strange that woman could adopt Miss D. My best friend and her late husband tried to adopt when they where in there 40's after being told they would never have children . They where in the position to give a baby or older children a loving family but where turned down .

Old neighbours of my parents where turned down for adoption by various agencies but told by seventh day adventist's if they converted to their religion they could adopt 2 children and they did 2 brothers who grew to be lovely men.

Well today is the anniversary of my hereditary Hyperekplexia diagnosis. What a year it has been . I finally know I am not weird but a member of a select group with a rare condition. My HPX group has helped me such a lot. My life makes sense they have taught me such a lot, but in turn I have taught others about this condition including my neurologist. They have been willing to talk about how it effects them no matter how embarrassing and I have told them about my journey. As it's world wide have talked to a wide selection of people from countries that I will never visit. But pleased to find this country is ahead of others in diagnosis of HPX . Seeing what babies do during an attack was heart breaking because I wonder if I did what they did. But my parents only said about taking me to the doctor's a lot through pain in my legs and falling down. I walked from 15 months but my parents never said when I spoke. I now know HPX can delay development of childhood milestones. Plus I know understand why it was hard for me to take in and understand school lessons and why the only way things made sense is if I wrote things out over and over again until I understood. Surprisingly I was a clever child. I never came across a flight of stairs I didn't fall up or down. But at least I understand why. Like why I keep going underwater during swimming lessons. My startle reflex kicked in and my body stiffened hence I fell or went under water. I have to laugh though it's a good job I didn't have the limbs jerks when I was at secondary school as I threw a javlin I could have killed someone. But it would have made the bullies leave me alone if they thought I could have hurt them. Swings and roundabouts.

Anyway it's sunny here today so may go into the garden and pull out some weeds. See how I feel after breakfast.

Have a good day my friends.

April fool's day, just did one on my S&D, my S fell for it but my D didn't.

Hope you manage to get out in the garden today Whiff, looks overcast here, so looks like another walk in the rain today for me! You've done well with all you've achieved through your life, not knowing what was wrong must have been hard.

What drama DL hope it will all sort out in the end, time may heal fingers crossed.

Smiles Good luck with your decking next week. How's your singing going, have you anymore concerts booked?

Love to all xx

What was the April fool Yogin? Can't remember the last time I did one of those, must have been when the boys were still living at home.

Singing's going well thanks, still enjoying the choir and my singing lessons. No concert until July when we'll sing at our choir master's church's anniversary so plenty of time for rehearsals.

It's cold and grey here but at least it's stopped raining. Was beginning to feel like Noah!!.

That's some anniversary Whiff and what a relief it must have been to be properly diagnosed after a life time of unexplained health issues.

Picturing you throwing a javelin and hitting someone made me laugh; at least you'd have had a good defence.

It must have been very hard for your mum and dad, seeing what you were going through and never knowing why.

You're a wonderful ambassador for HPX and I've seen how by sharing your own journey with it's ups and downs, helps and supports others here on GN .

Fingers crossed that the builder doesn't let us down and turns up next week, as we're de camping to the flat tomorrow so it wont all be going on while the dogs are here.

Mr. S. will come through for the days they're working. One or two days to take up the decking, re position the hopper and clean the flat rubber roof. Then he wants to leave it for a week to check that he's right about what's causing water to come through to the two bedrooms below, before laying the new composite decking which should take another one or two days.

We've had so many problems with this house from day one due to water ingress, as have our girls next door, and every time it's because when the refurbishment was done, some jobs weren't done properly.

Hopefully this will be the last thing. We have one bedroom ceiling to repaint because of staining and some repairs, re plastering and painting to do in the other one.

I'm itching to get this done so the rooms are back to looking how they should and we wont worry every time we get a down pour.

Spent 2.5 hours in the garden yesterday. Didn't mean to spend that long but I lose all sense of time out there. Must remember to set my timer in future . As I was knacked. But happy.

Wrote on my HPX group yesterday and had some lovely replies and learnt some new things about the condition. Love the fact I learn new things all the time .

Yogin had to laugh at you doing April Fool. Luckily when my neurologist told me on the 1st last year it was after 4pm otherwise I would have asked if it was an April Fool.

Smiles glad the singing lessons are going well and still singing with your choir. No one can be unhappy singing or dancing. Hope Mr S is proved right about where he thinks the water is coming in.

If you like watching good drama I have binge watched Magpie murders on iPlayer with Leslie Manville it was excellent. As I fall asleep watching TV at night I watch a lot on my smart TV. Hinterland is really good but couldn't cross stitch while watching as it was in Welsh and English. Been watching a lot of really good dramas lately.

No sit fit tomorrow as I am going to the Easter egg hunt with my daughter and grandsons at my local Methodist church. It was lovely last year. Hopefully it will be sunny like today.

Take care all.

Lovely and sunny again today, had a nice walk along the sea front on Sunday with family down from London for a big family Easter meal. Going to put some roses on my mum's resting place as it's 13yrs today since she passed

My son's April fool was telling him there was a man from the local dairy at the door selling eggs & milk and he will home deliver orders [my son stops after work to pick up these items from the farm shop there]. He quickly walked down the garden from the studio at the bottom, I'd left the door ajar, he opened it looking up & down Where is he April fool

My DD's; I texted saying the big chunck of wall that E had knocked out of the hallway wall had cracked bigger and I could see through to next door, asking my son.i.l to come round right away to fix it! she replied very good mum

After thinking about the wall, think there was a bullseye the size of a golf ball there from our move in possible & that my 4yr old GD had possible picked it out or reknocked it and the plaster fell out.

Yogin you have a wicked sense of humour love it. My husband did. Mind you he could make you believe white was black and never crack his face. He was a devil but he was mine.

Had a wonderful time at the Easter egg hunt the little one wanted to stay with me . Last year they hid the eggs round the grounds. Think they must have lost some and they rotted as this year they had hidden cardboard shaped eggs . There where 750 eggs for grabs every child was allowed to collect 10 eggs then exchange them for chocolate ones. And then they could collect 10 more. But my daughter left it at 10 for each of the boys. Any left over will be handed out at the Easter Sunday service. The boys coloured in bunny shapes and then attached to lolly sticks and a caterpillar to make. A little girl showed me what to do my grandson stuck on eyes both sides. There where biscuits to decorate and eat . Plus inside there where free drinks ,cakes and biscuits. They launched their free library and got the children to put all the books in. They could take a book to keep or return when they had read it. I have sorted out some books to take as it's there for all year round. Where my brother and sister in law lives they have a free library in the village it's an old red phone box.

I emailed the vicar to thank her and saying how much fun it was. It was only right to say thank you as a lot of work went into organising it and it was open to all.

Had a nice surprise yesterday I am always entering competitions on Gathered and won 2 tickets to the British quilt and sewing show at Uttoxeter racecourse on 21st,22nd and 23rd of April. Even though my daughter and family flew out to Spain yesterday I text her to see if she wanted to go if not I would have gone on the train . But she said yes to going on the 23rd. Another thing on my calendar . It amazes me how quickly it fills up.

Making brownies and an apple cake to take to craft group tomorrow. I always try and cater for everyone as I would do anyone coming to my home. One doesn't like cherries,another can't have honey and chocolate gives another on reflux. They love my baking so I make sure everyone has something and any left over make sure they take it home. I don't want to be tempted.

Going to tidy out the garage the weekend and sort out pots for my veg seeds. Got my daughter's eldest week tomorrow as she's at work and my son in law. Little one at nursery. After we make some biscuits he will be planting my seeds for me . We will walk to the church to get a book for him and his brother and out mine in after lunch. It's a library for children and adults.

I assume my son and daughter in law will be doing an Easter egg hunt for the boys. I have a lovely video my son sent me of one they did in 2020 and loved watching but haven't since the estrangement it's to upsetting. I loved seeing and hearing the boys but I can hear my son and see my pregnant daughter in law. It would be torture to watch it. And I won't do that to myself.

Our selfish children never have a thought for what our grandchildren are missing out on. Grandparents are important in a child's life. I loved being with my nan and know how much my children loved being with my parents. My parents treated my daughter in law as another grandchild. We where their for her when her own parents left her and moved to the other side of the world. She never knew her own grandparents. She was given the family she hadn't had . That's what I find so unfair her parents abandoned her as she didn't want to go . She was 18. Then her mother comes back after her divorce abandoning her other 2 children ok they where adults but a mother who abandons in turn is better thought of than me who has never abandoned anyone. Even my vile mother in law after my husband died and she out lived him by 11 years.

I live an independent life hated asking the children to do anything. Unfortunately I can no longer do a few things so my daughter does them for me and I hate that I can't do some things. I am dependant on no one for the roof over my head or food on my plate. But my daughter in law's mom has lived with them for 8 years this year. She can live independently but doesn't. I wonder does she feel smug or in fear of putting a foot wrong incase she is thrown away like me. She is very nice and I always got on well with her. What annoys me is knowing my 3 grandson's have to share a double room because she lives there. Luckily all 3 bedrooms are doubles . But the house isn't big enough for 3 adults ,3 children and 3 dogs.

Just me having a rant at the unfairness of it all. But I lucky I have a loving and caring daughter ,son in law and 2 grandson's. But still feel the lost of half my family. End of the month will be the last time I saw my son it will be 3 years .

As he is no longer the man and son I knew but I am not longer the Mom he knew. Not that I expect him to get in touch. But I would love to see him and finally get to defend myself against his and my daughter in law's accusations. But I know he wouldn't face me as he knows he's in the wrong . His dad's parents where vile and our children will never know the full extent of what they did and said to us. When they kicked off we walked out but went back the following week because my husband didn't like them but loved them . I put up with his mom because I love him and still do for 11:years after he died. That's what families do or the family I grew up with did. But family is a dirty word to our estranged children. What a lesson to teach our grandchildren.

How nice of your church Whiff to put that all on for the children. I wish I could belong to a church, but I work Sunday mornings. I see my DD church as 'ours' and go there for Xmas & Easter etc.

Nice of you to bake a cake for your craft group Whiff. I really miss my coffee mornings/afternoons with my friends before lockdown, had one man who always brought along a very nice homemade cake/s. Owing to the fact I don't teach classes there anymore, after 20yrs!, we only met up every-now-and-again, unlike before 3times per week and we'd go out for meals if it was someone's birthday.

Yogin I am a die hard atheist. It's not my church as I don't believe in any god. It was my local Methodist church by me who put the hunt on. But they open there doors to anyone . They have a lot of activities during the week open to believers and non believer's. They do not discriminate. But I felt it only right to send a thank email to the vicar.

My sit fit class is held in a church of England cafe.

When I moved here a woman knocked my door she was from the council of all the churches of different faiths with a book of all the churches services and activities. When I said I was an atheist she said it didn't matter they welcomed anyone.

I would be lost without my craft group and sit fit class. We don't have tea and biscuits at my sit fit class. But it's fun and always feel better after it. My craft group is free held in my local library 2 hours of chat ,craft drinks and goodies. We take in our own tea etc and have a cupboard to store everything in a kitchen and loo. We just take things in as we want those who can't afford to it doesn't matter. We all share.

It’s good churches arranging all these activities Whiff that welcome everyone. I wish I could come and enjoy your baking. That’s what it’s all about, love your neighbour whatever their views.
Another holiday, with friends meeting up with family, I’m going to disappear into the garden, weather and fitness permitting, got myself a lovely Easter Egg and doing a full roast with all the trimming for Sunday, then there is all my box sets to watch.

Just a quickie because I wanted to wish you all, regardless of your beliefs or none, a very Happy Easter. For those of you who have AC and GC to share this weekend with, have a wonderful time as you make precious memories.

For anyone alone, I hope you'll find something to bring a little joy and for those like me who don't have GC to share this time with but a loving H, give one another an extra hug.

for you all xx