Gransnet forums

Estrangement

A Lifeline…..

(6 Posts)
Marriedalongtime Thu 13-Apr-23 08:30:47

Hello,

I’ve been a ‘lurker’ on here for a while now but felt the need to share this.
My DH and me have recently been estranged from our AS for the second time. The first time was almost four years ago and after a few months, we all of us worked really hard to get things back on track and I thought it had worked.
However, it’s seems the problems haven’t gone away in my son’s mind and we are now back to square one. I feel utterly shattered and heartbroken. I’m not sure now that there is any way back for us. I don’t want to go into the reasons for all this because I feel it would be disloyal but the reason for my post is this.
I had been reading through all the other posts in this forum and I came across a book written by another GN. This addresses the whole estrangement situation and it has now become ‘my bible’ The book is called ‘ Beyond All Belief - ALiving Bereavement’ and is written by Diana Dunk. Every chapter resonates what I am feeling but there is also hope there that you can come through this and be a stronger person because of it. There are lots of quotes and little sayings on every other page that are both touchingly and meaningful.
I would just like to recommend this book to anyone who is going through this living nightmare and to say thank you to Diana if she is still on here. I hope your own situation has got better for you.

Smileless2012 Thu 13-Apr-23 09:19:09

Hello Marriedalongtime. I'm so sorry that you are going through a second estrangement with your son, I can only imagine how devastating that must be.

Thank you for recommending the book, the best advice and support comes from those who've experienced the pain of estrangement.

The best I ever read was 'Abandoned Parents: The Devil's Dilemma' by Sharon Anne Wildey, available on Amazon. It's very similar to the one you've recommended so may be worth you reading that as well. flowers.

VioletSky Thu 13-Apr-23 15:39:13

Does the book have any advice on how to reconcile the relationship?

There is an organisation called Stand Alone which can help you address the problems with the relationship and I would really recommend joint counselling with someone safe you all work through your issues together

Marriedalongtime Thu 13-Apr-23 18:34:36

VioletSky

Does the book have any advice on how to reconcile the relationship?

There is an organisation called Stand Alone which can help you address the problems with the relationship and I would really recommend joint counselling with someone safe you all work through your issues together

Not it doesn’t. It focuses solely on how to cope with the estrangement. I think we are a long way from counselling at the moment but thank you for your thoughts.

Marriedalongtime Thu 13-Apr-23 18:41:40

Smileless2012

Hello Marriedalongtime. I'm so sorry that you are going through a second estrangement with your son, I can only imagine how devastating that must be.

Thank you for recommending the book, the best advice and support comes from those who've experienced the pain of estrangement.

The best I ever read was 'Abandoned Parents: The Devil's Dilemma' by Sharon Anne Wildey, available on Amazon. It's very similar to the one you've recommended so may be worth you reading that as well. flowers.

Thank you for your kind words. I will look this one up.

Shelflife Fri 14-Apr-23 18:11:53

Marriedalongtime, I have no experience of estrangement so can only imagine the distress. I am sure your book recommendation will support many people.
I wish you and your DH well, it is devastating for you. Does not matter how this came about,the pain must be unbearable. I wish you and your family strength and like many others on GN I will think about you. I sincerely hope this dreadful situation will be healed for all of you. 💐💐💐