Dear scapegoats

Here are some signs of scapegoating by abusive people that are clearly identifiable:

1. They are verbally abusive to you

2. They take their problems out on you

3. They try to damage your reputation with others

4. They are pathologically jealous of you

5. They hold you to different standards of behaviour than themselves or others

6. They make you feel unwelcome or excluded

7. They expect support and help from you but are reluctant to reciprocate unless it benefits them

8. They demean or ignore your successes in life

9. They place the blame on you for everything

Scapegoats are usually the ones who seek help and support to deal with these situations and come to understand scapegoating that way. Thankfully scapegoats generally become far more emotionally healthy and happy than those who wished them harm

Far better for it not to have happened in the first place.

And the hurt must be very deep and personal.

Yes, that's a very good point Mamasperspective.

Mamasperspective

Depends on the context of the situation as to whether the person is actually a scapegoat or whether they just point blank refuse to accept that their behaviour is wrong which has caused the conflict and then they won’t accept any accountability.

And that ^ only matters if people actually care to some perceived conflict, apart from being happily un-enmeshed in "family". Not just everyone wants family in their spaces all the time!

I don’t think the OP will like that one little bit Mamaperspective but I do!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻A really good point.

Depends on the context of the situation as to whether the person is actually a scapegoat or whether they just point blank refuse to accept that their behaviour is wrong which has caused the conflict and then they won’t accept any accountability.