Happy Christmas to all you inspirational posters may your day be filled with the Blessings of Christmas.
Prayers for all who want them and peace and Joy to all.🙏💕💐
Gransnet forums
Estrangement
Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life
(1001 Posts)I've been trying to think of something different to say in the OP for this new support thread but was reminded of the old adage 'if it aint broke, don't try to fix it'.
The longevity and success of the support thread speaks for itself, so we just need to keep doing what we do which is being there for one another and giving a warm welcome to anyone new who comes along.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
to everyone on here.
Whatever you are doing and whomever you are sharing the day with have an absolutely wonder day. [tchwine] [tchroastchicken] Love to you all xxx
Oh Smiles your poem!
Yogin so glad you decided to go too Disneyland Paris. Gives you free reign to be a kid again 😁. Make sure you get your photo with one of the Disney characters 😊
I imagine my other 3 grandson's are up now but it doesn't make me sad but happy to know they are in the world .
Have the best Christmas day you can . 🎄🥂
Smiles your poem sums up estrangement perfectly. Not only a talented singer but a poet as well.
I am lucky I will be with my daughter ,son in law and 2 grandson's tomorrow. As well as my son in laws parents . I have always got on well with them my daughter is lucky to have really nice in laws that care about her as much as their son and daughter.
My husband always said he was lucky he had my parents who loved him and cared for him. Got a bit weepy this morning as I do some Christmas eves but it's for my husband not my son and 3 grandson's. Ever since my husband died I made a pact with myself I was allowed to feel sad Christmas eve if I needed to but never Christmas day. My husband loved Christmas it was his favourite time of the year. And he started to cook Christmas lunch assisted by the children from 1996 as I had my hysterectomy the week before Christmas. He did it until 2002. As he prepared the turkey he always had a glass of pale sherry at 10am as the children got older they had it to.
His last Christmas was 2003 the children cooked it I just carved and made the gravy as I always did. It was the last complete meal my husband ate.
But I have always put my tree up on the 1st then down on the 2nd January. Like we always did. I couldn't be without my tree and most of the decorations we brought together. Each one is a happy memory.
Hope you all have the best Christmas you can and it's only one day. Hope 2024 brings good things your way. Thank you all for getting me through another year. ❤️🎄🥂
That’s beautiful Smileless, I know your son will be thinking of you two, however hard and stubborn he has been. You will always be his parents, he can’t help but remember all those Christmas’s before he estranged. All that you shared makes what’s happened all the more painful, but you two enjoy your day there’s lots to look forward to and celebrate,
Enjoy the day too Spring
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Thank you muffinthemoo, you're very kind.
Twas the night before Christmas and in every room
Twinkling lights and tinsel helped disperse the gloom.
No Christmas stockings were hung with care
Because the son they had lost, wouldn't be there.
The turkey was prepped and all the trimmings too
A feast fit for a king, to be shared by just two.
Tonight they'll dream of their grandchildren, all snug in their beds, while dreams of happier times, dance in their heads.
They'll want this Christmas Eve night to last forever
To relive each Christmas, when they'd been together.
In just a few hours, Christmas day will be here
and they'll face it together with love and good cheer.
Just as they've tried to face each and every day
since they were estranged, and their son went away.
Ladies, you are on my mind at this time of year. Hope all of you are able to have a peaceful festive period x
Was at a lunch with my sporty friends last week. One woman mentioned she was with 15 other people on Christmas Day, to which the person on her left said” How wonderful…….MAYBE”! Made me laugh! So easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone else is having the perfect Christmas. Have you noticed a couple of newspapers giving advice on ‘how to avoid conflicts at Christmas’? It is a stressful time and are no guarantees all will be wonderful. As Allsorts says, spending it with the most important people is all that matters really, whether the gathering be large or small.
Enjoy the day everyone, and ‘see’ you on here again soon!
Yes I will be Allsorts
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Smileless, I know how disappointed you are, you will be with the most important person though, that is to be celebrated, In a way we all expect things to be perfect but rarely are. 💐
Oh I am pleased that you've decided to go Yogin it will be wonderful to see all the 'magic' through the eyes of your GD's.
Morning all
Well, the sun has finally come out to play, so need to get ready to take joey to the park or maybe a walk on the beach.
So pleased to hear your friends H has had his op and doing well. Smiles.
Good you are spending Xmas day with family Allsorts enjoy it all, even the noise!
I thought about the Disney trip all night and have decided to go. It will be such a lovely family bonding holiday. Doesn't seem right that I am closer to my previous in-laws than my own siblings. My DD said Oh mum, don't you want to see your GDs on all the rides and my sister-in-law said Yes, you’ll miss out on Sleeping Beauty Castle and all the magic rides xx after my bro-in-law said oh, what a shame. So, I've said I'll go, as you never know what life has in store.
With Joey, I will ask if my son can make sure his 2 days off are my 2 middle days away [maybe anyway with luck] and then the other 2 days either side, I will get a dog walker in to take Joey for a midday walkie. My son has decided he is not going to continue with 15hr days since he found out he just gets paid at the normal rate and not overtime after 9hrs as he thought.
Morning everyone.
He had the procedure yesterday and is now back home, tired and very relieved as we all are.
Your secret Santa is lovely Whiff. I'm very impressed at how you've managed to get your laptop up and running following its repair Yogin.
I do hope you'll go to Disneyland Paris it will be wonderful to see everything through the eyes of your GC. We've been once but as you know, having our villa in Florida meant we went to Disneyland at least twice a year for 10 years!!!
We'd have loved to have been able to have our ES and family with us, but it wasn't meant to be. I totally understand you being worried about little Joey so I hope your son will agree to look after him for a few days.
Glad you enjoyed the panto. I used to go every year with my m.i.l. and the boys when they were little and never enjoyed it, not that I ever let them know.
I'm glad you're with family on Christmas day Allsorts, have a lovely day
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We were both down in the dumps yesterday as our planned and much looked forward too Christmas wont materialise. We eventually dragged ourselves out of the house to take the dogs for a walk. Taking in the spectacular views of the sea and coast line, and watching our dogs running around looking gorgeous in their new jumpers helped to cheer us up.
It sounds lovely Yoga, you are very fortunate to be so close to your daughter. About the holiday, I would go but only if my dog had the same sort of care he gets when your with him. Whiff I think your youngest member seems quite happy with all the attention and food.
Smileless, your friend will have a new lease of life after surgery, time for many get togethers.
Want to wish everyone a Happy Christmas, I am with family on Christmas Day, know I’m lucky to have that, I take nothing for granted, I do think of Christmas’s long ago when I was surrounded by a big family and more importantly my lost d and my lovely husband, another time.
Morning all
Firstly Smiles sorry to hear about your friends H being in hospital and awaiting a heart operation, hope all goes well for him and he gets home for Xmas, as Whiff has said you can host a belated Xmas dinner when he is well enough to travel. Glad you got your leak fixed. You should name your house 'Leaky house' 
Your gingerbread cake was a hit then Whiff sounds delicious! Let's see that secret Santa pic of you and your craft friends then Whiff!
Well, I've not been on for about 11days as my laptop crashed, had to put it into a computer repair shop, cost £100, but now up and running with new hard drive and SD. He said he had recovered all my data, but not sure of that, think I've lost lots of files and all my pictures, sods law I was about to order a picture stick to take all my pics off to speed up my laptop. I do have almost all printed and had just moved a batch onto snapfish for sorting and printing, so it would be just the last batch that I moved off my phone to free up space that I may have lost, still to have a good search round.
When I got my laptop back, I thought great, just switch on and off we go, but no, it's taken me a few days to get into my accounts, needing verification codes, which wouldn't come through due to the sky being completely covered in clouds resulting in my terrible mobile reception being even worst then it already is. So, I'm slowly getting everything back on as before.
Had a lovely Xmas meal with all my in-laws from London last Sunday. I've been invited to go to Disneyland Paris with them in April, I knew my DD&GC were going, but I didn't expect an invite too. Unsure if I should go for a few reasons; 1] my father-in-law always insists on paying for everything and I don't think he should be paying for me. 2] worried about leaving my little dog Joey, my son has said he doesn't want to go, so if he agreed to 'doggie sit' whilst I was away for 4 days that would be best, but not sure he would agree to taking time off work. 3] I did say, after the lockdown, I wouldn't leave the UK again. What to do [?]
I have been to Disney Land Paris, when we all lived in Holland, again my father-in-law took us all and paid for everything, but my C, his GC, were small then and he said he wanted to treat them. I've also been to Disney land Florida with my C and second H, very nice, very expensive!
Went to the Panto with my DD&GDs on Weds, had a wonderful time, not sure an adult should enjoy a Panto as much as I did, didn't think I would. It was 'Peter Pan' with Joe Pasquale & Rob Rinder, very funny, GD's loved it.
Smiles brilliant news. An early Christmas present for your friends. He will feel like a new man once healed and take away the worry about having a heart attack from him and his wife. Hopefully he is going into this operation with a positive frame of mind as that will help him. Even if he has to spend Christmas in hospital at least he is getting the care he needs to see future Christmas's.
A huge relief for you and Mr S. You can have Christmas with them anytime of the year😁. It will just be delayed a bit.
Had a lovely time at my craft party yesterday. My food went down well and everyone brought something in. Funny enough no mince pies still haven't had one this year . 2 of our members a mother and daughter came and brought their 18 months grandson/ nephew who they mind for his mom their daughter/ sister. He had a lovely time and was a fan of my gingerbread cake. Thought it might be to spicy for him but he couldn't eat it quick enough. His aunty took some lovely photos unfortunately that old woman who appears on photos with grandsons her own and other people's popped up again 🤣.
The picture is my secret Santa gift which is now on my tree.
Hopefully these high winds don't blown anyone over. I nearly went yesterday on the way home. But I walk close to walls and fences . But have to stop walking when it gusts as it sets of my startle reflex and I stiffen up and can't move only lasts a minute but at least I understand why my body does what it does thanks to my HPX group. Like here I couldn't do without their support,advice , understanding and more importantly friendship. 🎄
Thank you all for your support.
He's having an internal defibrillator fitted tomorrow or Saturday as his heart is sometimes missing a beat. He's comfortable and more relaxed now he knows what the problem is, and how they're going to resolve it.
My dear friend is also much calmer now and is hoping that the procedure is carried out tomorrow, so he may be home for Christmas.
Really sorry to hear this news Smileless….so very disappointing for you, but I know your thoughts will be with your friends. I hope you can enjoy Christmas even so and that there is good news regarding your friend’s husband. We’ve had a couple of cards this year informing us of tragic deaths…..a sharp reminder we can take nothing for granted.
Smiles very sorry for your friend and her husband. She must be worried sick. Also you and Mr S especially after that loss of your lovely neighbour.
But at least your friends husband is in hospital and will be on a high dependency ward. Which in itself can be frightening for your friend. Hopefully they can help him and he is home soon to rest and recover.
Oh so sorry Smileless. Firstly for your friend and her husband and also because I know how much you were looking forward to Christmas with them. 
So sorry Smileless. Hopefully your friend will make a swift recovery.💐
Very upsetting news this morning. My dearest friend and her H wont be coming for Christmas as he's rushed into hospital with a heart problem.
She's in pieces and I wish I wasn't so far away.
Smiles hope your floor boards and ceiling are dried out and Mr S has worked his magic again. Hope the concerts went well. How many have you done ? Your singing lessons have paid off.
Yogin hope you and your son are fully recovered. My daughter has had a cold for 3 weeks now and lost her voice for 3 days. Hopefully she will be fully recovered for Christmas . Seems strange it's a week today. Yesterday she said I haven't worked out timings for lunch yet. I said I didn't assume I was being invited she said don't be stupid you always are. It's year my son in laws parents will be there so be lovely to see them and catch up. Means I will be bringing home turkey . When it's just me I love my daughter's nut roast but her in laws like turkey. Her eldest has salmon as he doesn't like nut roast but his brother does. There was Christmas lunch at school the other day . He took a packed lunch. Having breakfast with Santa today at school and tomorrow the whole school is going to see Jack and the beanstalk. Santa went to the nursery last week and his brother had a big book . The oldest went to 2 birthday parties the weekend. In one of the party bags was bath bombs. What was wrong with a piece of cake and some sweets🤷.
Could you imagine a childs face if in there Christmas stocking they found a satsuma and small bar of diary milk like my brother and I had. Can't remember what we put in our children's or even if they had one. I have lost some of my memories when my health got worse in 1988 they where of my early years before I got married . Things I did with my husband and places we went to. At least I can still remember most things.
Christmas party at craft on Thursday made gingerbread cake yesterday. Start the millionaire shortbread and filling today so it sets ready for the chocolate tomorrow. Also preparing the samasoes ready to bake Wednesday and making the cheese rock mix. Just to cook on the morning as I have my pneumonia jab on the afternoon. And don't know how I will feel afterwards. It's the first year they have let me have it.
Better make the shortbread. Take care everyone.
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