Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life

Glad to hear everyone's enjoying their breaks. 🍾

It's been a funny, emotional week for me - seeing 3 of 4 grandkids off to, or starting Uni - I will miss them rocking up here so much. They keep me smiling. 🙂

I've also had a bad attack of "bereavement brain fog" - lost my keys one day, but found them.

Lost my glasses today somewhere between the hairdressers and here - but, luckily, I've got a spare pair, which are fine.

I'm just usually so organised, it's driving me nuts.🥴

My hairdresser, who has been on maternity leave, looked shocked when I walked in for a cut and colour - I've lost a shedload of weight.

She then commented that it was lucky I've got such thick hair, as I've been moulting worse than a sheepdog. Stress causes so many physical problems. I knew I'd been shedding by my hairbrush, and shower trap, but, luckily, it doesn't really show.🙄

So, on we press.

All have a good day 💐

Last day today. Home tomorrow. Lovely weather, beautiful seaside views and nice food! Can't beat it!

Just realised I pressed post not preview🤦.

Enjoy the rest of your time at the lodge Smiles and Madgran hope your are enjoying your holiday.

Hope everyone has a good day. One of our craft group has been in France for 3 weeks and bring some biscuits from there today yum. Taking her a jar of jam made from the cherries she gave me from her tree.

Smiles Mr S sounds just like my husband . If we where having a BBQ if it rained with the aid of our son rigged up a large tarpaulin over the BBQ and table and chairs. My daughter and me past out food to cook and they sat playing cards. Then eat inside. Wonder if my son remembers that ?

Only time we tried different restaurants other than French and Italian was with the children when I came here before my move. But do remember one visit to see our daughter in her first year at uni was to a tapas restaurant. My husband loved his food and always stayed slim 🤬 I had only to look at a cream cake and put pounds on. He didn't like plates to share as he liked his own plate of food. Still remember his face when the food was put on the table . Thanks for that Smiles I had forgotten. That's what I love about here because we chat I remember things I had forgotten. Life got so busy with the lead up to this death and afterwards my life was taken up with grieving and caring for others and memories got stored away.

After 3 days of antihistamines my bites stopped itching and nearly gone. But think they interfered with my pain tablets as my limbs hurt more than usual. But I did check it was ok to take them together. Having my flu jab next week so will pick up some antihistamine cream. Just in case I get bitten again. Have a lovely valley near me but not safe for me to walk by myself because I forget the way 🤦. At least I don't get lost in the park.

Allsorts glad you are feeling better and are back posting. Grief for the other half of yourself never gets any easier. They will always be the same age when they died while we get older and they miss so much of what's happening in our lives and world events. But we fight on and live for them.

Spring your mention of the cardi gave me an idea what I would like for Christmas from my daughter and family. My winter boyfriend cardi is only fit to wear at home. Have 2 cotton ones for going out by no winter weight one now.

That cold yesterday all my windows had condensation on them . And had to put a vest on just a thin one. Soon be time to get my hoodie blankets with sleeves and hood out instead of my dressing gowns.

Friday before my friend came for me had a call from DWP saying they had the court decision and just wanted to check my bank details and told me because I should have had PIP last year I will get the cost of living payment for last year and this. Also asked if I can handle a lump sum or did I want it in installments. Lump sum please that way I can put some back into my savings. For once a nice person at the DWP sounded local and not from Wolverhampton where all the PIP forms and decisions came from.

I know it's early but already got Christmas cards and some presents. Plus been working on Christmas cross stitch since beginning of August. Already decided what to do for our secret Santa at my craft group.

Cold and raining here today. Hopefully better tomorrow as I need to weed the garden and line my greenhouse with the winter padding ready to sow things in December/January. Plus my leeks need getting up not very thick but I put them out late. Then that's my harvest done for this year. Already got my seeds weeks ago as D Browns had sale of seeds £1 a packet some should have been £3-£4.

Glad you’re feeling better now Allsorts. Went into town today and bought a trendy cardigan (boyfriend fit!) and what we used to call a tank top in a really bright colour, so now ready for gloomier days 😊. You are quite the foodie Smiles - exotic for us is always the local Indian. I really miss good wholefood restaurants that were around in our early married days though. Because most places now serve vegan/veg food they seem to have disappeared.

Morning everyone.

Hope you're enjoying your break in Cornwall Madgran it's a beautiful part of the country especially when the weather's good.

G;ad you're feeling better Allsorts. Mr. S. looked into changing our insurance company for property insurance but there wasn't much in it, despite the quote for the coming year being nearly double.

Never made a claim so it did seem unreasonable until we saw what other companies would charge.

It rained for most of the day yesterday but stopped long enough to take the dogs out for a walk before starting again so we just went to a local garden centre yesterday for lunch and to look around the shop.

Bought some lovely biscuits, more expensive but well worth the extra money.

Hope your bites are better Whiff. I have one on my ankle which has calmed down now but I always react badly to them.

It's a lovely warm and sunny day here so we're off to a historic market town for a wander and some lunch in a tapas restaurant which we always enjoy.

Hope to see you posting again soon Yogin.

Have a good day everyone.

Just catching up on all your news, I had a little break as thread was getting to next bit.
Whiff, your mini holiday sounds great, sorry about mosi bites, they drive you mad, they get me whatever clothing I have on and now use Jungle Formula. Her apartment sounds as if it's in the most beautiful setting.
Smiles, Glad you're enjoying your lodge so much, even your BBQ under the umbrella.
DIamond Lil, you've got it coming in all directions and coping
Let's hope you get some positive news regarding your grandsons position. It's such early says after losing your husband and it's just one say at a time.
I still miss mine after so many years. I have been sorting out a lot of renewals over the phone and felt like hanging ip listening to messages and music, oh for the days when it was simple, it's so stressful now, they quote you an exhorbitant price, you haggle, they halve it, just offer a fair amount in the beginning. Found it harder this year as felt lousy after Covid for weeks, feeling much better now.
Madgran, I do miss Cornwall, how lovely going there in all that lovely weather.
Yoga, do hood you're ok, thinking if you.
To everyone I haven't mentioned, hope you are all well too, the sun was beautiful but must admit just a little too hot for comfort.

Morning everyone.

Sounds as if you had a lovely weekend Whiff; good company, good food and lovely scenery what could be better?

Perhaps lighting the BBQ and 10 minutes later, unexpected and not forecast rain!!! Resulting in Mr. S. standing under the large tree we have next to our lodge with an umbrella, determined to BBQ the steaks and sausages because he prefers them that way (as do I).

Not the first time he's battled the elements so a planned for BBQ can go ahead.

Yesterday's highlight after we'd been shopping was to defrost the freezer. We do it every 6 months so it doesn't take more than an hour with a couple of bowls of hot water and teasing the ice off gently with a wooden spoon.

Raining here, rained all night so we'll go to one of the large garden centres to mooch around the shop and have a light lunch.

Have a good day everyone.

Smiles and Mr S hope you are enjoying your time at the lodge.

Madgran Cornwall is beautiful. Holds may happy memories for me of family holidays when I was young and when married.

Well had a lovely weekend with my GN friend . She's lives in a beautiful apartment with a wood the back of her and farm land near by. Lovely villages. Went for a walk or in my case a wobble in the woods Friday to go to the rose garden but it was about to shut but she wanted me to see the gate it was beautiful. Had a tree of life but the best bit was the rabbits at the bottom all made out of metal. The craftsmanship it involved must have take a long time to make . The mozzies certainly loved us both. I don't normally get bitten but have 4 each side of my neck and 1 on one hand and 3 on the other plus one one my arm and I was wearing a long sleeved tunic . Text my daughter and she got me some antihistamines yesterday and where waiting for me when I got home.. They must be working as 3 on each side of my neck spread into eachother yesterday and today they are separate. She is a very talented artist she paints on silk. Next day went to Lewis Carroll exhibition which was in a beautiful church and was very interesting. Then had a pub lunch followed by delicious local made ice cream . She cooked lovely meals. Sat in her garden it's small but full of flowers and 3 seating areas. Including one at the top of a spiral staircase. So course I didn't go up or down it to dangerous for me. It was lovely to learn so much about her life and her job took her all over the world but not to the usual countries. So glad we just because we chatted on GN and became friends next time she will stay with me. Probably next year now as we are both busy. I can never except anything without giving back. I took her a goody bag of assorted things I thought she might like as a thank you.

Hope everyone is well at least it's cooler today. As it's sit fit class this afternoon. Take care all.

A favourite destination Madgran! Enjoy 😎
Hope you have a great time at your lodge too Smiles.

A 300 mile drive today was SO worth it just to be sitting looking at the sun shining on the sea in Cornwall! A lovely and much needed 6 day break! Hope the sunny weather continues for everyone, those at home and those on holiday! 🌞🌞

Morning everyone.

Busy morning for us as we're going to our lodge today for a week, so need to cracking. Of course the weather's going to changebut it will be good to get away for a change of scenery and at least we'll be able to have a BBQ this evening.

Hope you're enjoying your weekend away Whiff. Have a good day everyone.

Oooh I've never heard of them Madgran, sound interesting so I'll have to see if there's one near us. Thanks for the tip.

Have you ever been to a Mauritian Restaurant Smileless? If not, t well worth a try if you ever get the chance. Some really lovely but quite unusual dishes and combinations and not too spicy. I dont like spicy food either 😏

Morning everyone. Waiting for the sun to break through as we're surrounded by sea mist at the moment so it feels damp and chilly.

I've certainly expanded my palate since we moved here DL as we have so many lovely restaurants all within walking distance to choose from.

Mr. S. is a bit more adventurous so I often have a taste of what he's having providing it's not too hot and spicy.

Smileless2012

Yes we did thanks DL. Decided to go to the Turkish restaurant and the owner gave us a complimentary glass of champagne.

Been keeping busy today so looking forward to putting my feet up this evening.

Not my sort of food...I'm Mrs Bland lol ...but definitely my sort of alcohol..🍾🍾

It's very hot here, so have paid the bills, and some basics indoors, and I don't think it'll be a lot else today.🌞

Hope everyone has a lovely day. x💐

Yes we did thanks DL. Decided to go to the Turkish restaurant and the owner gave us a complimentary glass of champagne.

Been keeping busy today so looking forward to putting my feet up this evening.

Smileless2012

This thread has been a lifeline for me too DSL, from the first time I ever posted on it.

You've had so much to get your head around DL, losing your DH and the shenanigans of your step children. It must be a relief to have have to deal with them anymore .

Lots of threads are chatty as you say Whiff, so this one is no exception and I think it can really help someone newly estranged to see that we have other things to talk about too. To see that life goes on because for such a long time I never thought it would be possible that Mr. S. and I could be where we are now, and I bet that's how we all felt at one time or another, especially at the beginning.

Friends chat yes they do. They chat, they share, they care for and support one another and where would we be without them.

Hope you had a lovely anniversary. 🍾

Sometimes, as you say, other events take over our life, and it's good to talk.

Hope everyone is having a good day 💐

DerbyshireLass

DL. Hang in there. It gets easier, eventually. Bereavement is a long hard slog in itself without having to contend with estrangement as well. A real double whammy.

As Whiff says chatting on here is a huge help. Through the dark days this thread was my lifeline.

Keep your pecker up. 💐

Yes, it is proving a long road and a learning g curve. Am staggering through it, and, as you say, support on here is lovely.

Hope you're well x

Err Smileless have you opened that second bottle yet?🍾
The flowers are beautiful.

Remember all those years ago too..
We’ve managed to find a new way.
Enjoy the evening 😘

This thread has been a lifeline for me too DSL, from the first time I ever posted on it.

You've had so much to get your head around DL, losing your DH and the shenanigans of your step children. It must be a relief to have have to deal with them anymore .

Lots of threads are chatty as you say Whiff, so this one is no exception and I think it can really help someone newly estranged to see that we have other things to talk about too. To see that life goes on because for such a long time I never thought it would be possible that Mr. S. and I could be where we are now, and I bet that's how we all felt at one time or another, especially at the beginning.

Friends chat yes they do. They chat, they share, they care for and support one another and where would we be without them.

DL. Hang in there. It gets easier, eventually. Bereavement is a long hard slog in itself without having to contend with estrangement as well. A real double whammy.

As Whiff says chatting on here is a huge help. Through the dark days this thread was my lifeline.

Keep your pecker up. 💐

Estrangement brought us together but it's not the only thing in our lives. As I said some are coping with recent grief, anniversaries coming up some happy some sad. Health problems and anyother day to day life.

Because of being able to talk openly on here about estrangement means we can open up about other things effecting our lives. For me it was all about my PIP tribunal coming up. I have talked about my health problems as that's part of who I am. My 35 years fight to get disability benefits. I even talk about my daughter and family ,plus sit fit class and my craft group.

Yes we chat but that's what people do and I class many on here as friends. And friends chat . What's wrong with that. It's not a doom and gloom thread otherwise it wouldn't still be going after 10 years.

Most threads are the same it can be about a certain subject but people chat as well. We are after all social human beings not loners like some animals.

Smileless2012

She's OK Allsorts but has decided to take a break for a while which TBH I was thinking of doing on Monday night. Having been here for more than 10 years though, I don't think I could have managed it.

I was so pleased to see so many positive posts yesterday already on by 8.30, which is testament to the importance of this thread and the good that it does, as does the number of years its been running.

Thank you, and a thank you from Mr. S. too for all of your good wishes.

Aww, well, don't give it up. You lot on here have given me so much support over the last few months.😉

I can't say how much I appreciate it.💐

Bereavement and self centred, selfish, ACs is never a good mix, but I've got through 5 months and on I press.😗

Glad you're having a lovely anniversary xx🍾🍾

Message withdrawn at poster's request.