My greatest wish is to see my granddaughter whom I still love despite everything.

Thankyou all for responses
I am going to let it lie for a while ad see what happens.

Despite how I feel life has to go on.

this happens occasionally with one of my grandchildren, young adult.. after silence and me worrying for about a week I send a pm via facebook just saying 'hope you're okay' it usually results in a reply and a visit.... not mentioning the issue again

I agree DL. If you know there's something you need to apologise for than do so pinkprincess. Although she's not done so for a while, you say there's a history of her verbally abusing family and friends so there's every chance she'll calm down and contact you.

A loving and thoughtful letter as DL's suggested may help with of course no mention of this or earlier incidents.

I wouldn't be apologising unless I knew what I was apologising for - it gets ridiculous apologising for an unknown.

Drug misuse can bring long term problems, even when drugs are not still being taken.

Hopefully, she will change her stance.

I would send a letter - neither apologising (unless you know what for), nor mentioning the drugs, just a loving, thoughtful letter.

It’s early days, don't give up hope. I would not try to contact her as she may still be angry, let her come to you when she has calmed down.

If you have always been close then one disagreement will not wipe all of that out.

I hope she contacts you soon.

Also just to add

Don't mention things you have done for her, that will feel to her that your relationship is transactional and you expect a return for giving

Don't mention her past drug use. People deserve to move past their previous lives when they were in a bad place. People are defined by what they overcome not the worst of themselves

I would send/ have passed on one letter and this letter would be focused on whatever I said only... nothing about whatever she may have said or done

The letter would contain a sincere apology, no ifs or buts

The letter would contain how much I love her

The letter would contain, that I would respect her need for no contact and be here when she is ready.

When she was ready I would be having a conversation about boundaries (things we do not do or say to each other in future) and sticking to it

Really hope things work out for you

I would probably write.
I would ask the family member to post it though rather than hand it over.

Is often used.

Substance abuse I often used to self medicate mental health issues so she may be struggling again. Sometimes people with mental health issues push people away because they want proof that people really care for them and love them. Id try to make contact by letter via anyone who is in contact with her in as loving and generous way as possible. You lose nothing by trying to contact her.

I’m a bit confused as to why where she’s living is a focus.

I’d bide your time, and not involve others, even to pass along a message. She’s asked you not to contact her, it’s best to respect that, rather than push and cause more damage. She’ll contact you when she’s ready.

It is a great thing that you are aware of the reason and what went wrong

Write an apology letter with no requests from your side may help

Good luck!

It’s early days if this only happened last week. All is not lost and hopefully this won’t be permanent. You don’t need to know where she lives right now but just need to sort this out. She may need time she is clearly upset.
Writing a letter c/o her parents might be a start.
Good luck

Thanks all of you for your kind words.
I cannot divulge more of my family details as people on here may know who I am.
My granddaughter has a history of substance abuse, although she is off all drugs now it has caused long term side effects in her behaviour. She is known to have given verbal abuse to family and friends before but this is the first for a long time.She also has frequent mood swings, like in this instance.She and I were on a day out together, we were chatting to each other quite normally.I suddenly felt her mood change and she became very aggressive.
I am not saying anymore about the situation on here.My love for her has not changed, I just want for her to snap out f it and speak to me again.
I am quite prepared to admit to her I did a wrong, but she will not contact me or say where she is living.
Thanking you all again.

She seems to be using very strong words (hate) over a "misunderstanding".

I suggest, as you know the facts, that you write a carefully thought out letter to her, sent c/o her parents, to be forwarded to her.

If you owe her an apology, then give it freely - but only you know if you do or not.

Best wishes. 💐

If she's in touch with her parents or other members of the family why not write a letter of apology and ask them to give it to her. Just say there's been a misunderstanding which you want to put right. I hope it calms down and she gets back to you.

Thankyou CrazyH.

I'm so very sorry pinkprincess but try not to despair. It may not be as bad as you fear and when she calms down hopefully she'll see that whatever the misunderstanding was about, the relationship you have is far more important.

Where there is love, there is hope.

Oh how sad. How old is she? She may think better of it as time goes on. Hopefully.

I cannot imagine what you are going through. I have 6 GC, two of who, are 21 and 20 years old. I have come very near to upsetting them, with my thoughtless remarks. But, fortunately they let it go over their head. Sometimes, I feel like crying when I think of something I have inadvertently said although I try to reassure myself that it is for their own good. Doesn’t work like that - we have to be careful with our words. I hope things will work out for you and your GC. As a matter of fact, I’m sure they will