Adult children estrangement

IMO you’re being coerced by your two daughters! Why have they come home? Where were they living before and where is your son living now?

To be frank I’d send your daughters packing! How dare they tell you what to do in your own house! Good luck!

Please do it then. This situation is very complex and we are in no position to assess what is happening. However clearly the situation now is not working, so have a family meeting and get to the bottom of why this is happening. Failing that just remember it is your house !! Of course you don't want to lose your daughters, but it seems relationships are almost at the point of no return now! Weigh up what you want and make it happen.

Am I the only one who doesn’t believe this is true?

*Germanshepherdsmum

Am I the only one who doesn’t believe this is true?*

It does seem most odd!

I don't think this rings true either!

Thank you @shelflife, i have tried to call a family meeting, and we have had family discussions before but they havent been successful. I get that i need to be stronger and lay down some boundaries and so I'll try again

Cossy

IMO you’re being coerced by your two daughters! Why have they come home? Where were they living before and where is your son living now?

To be frank I’d send your daughters packing! How dare they tell you what to do in your own house! Good luck!

They obviously take after their father!

Thanks @nannyjan53 and @germanshepherdsmum. Please can you tell me your view on why it doesnt seem true, because it might give me a new or different perspective on the situation. It is real, I'm living this life right now. Its not right, and noone is happy and I'm genuinely reaching out to try and get some way of making it better and you might help me with your view on it.

It doesn't seem odd to me; it is a situation that has built up gradually, and is now difficult to deal with.

What would you ideally like to happen, Sinbad?

Sinbadl700 the question was raised because you posted the same thing on Ask a Gran ..

🙄

@misadventure thank you, Ideally i want all of my children to be successful, living their own lives to the fullest on their own teo feet, being self sufficient, and i want to help guide them where they need help, and watch them grow. Not have them be relient on me. Im getting older now and i want to be able to live my life for me now, while I'm still healthy enough to.

That was the whole point of helping them to get a good education, learning to drive, to move forward

Sorry my bad on navigating the forums. I'm new here and wasn't in a good place last night when d2 decided she didn't want to attend the counselling session i'd arranged for us on Monday

So, you need a plan on how to tackle this.

Would you like them all to move out, or would you like your son with you again?

Which there is nothing wrong with, if he supports you a bit with help you might need.

If this was my life, I’d be tempted to sell up and buy myself a lovely little cottage by the sea, live the rest of my life in peace.
Your children are all old enough to sort themselves out, &’when they’ve decided to grow up & stop arguing amongst themselves, they can visit you for a lovely lunch in your cottage garden. Maybe even get the scrabble out.

Don't worry about posting wherever you see fit, and if it's a double post, well, most people have done it, and the sky didn't fall in.

This sounds a bit selfish, but I'm so tired now.

It's not selfish at all.
None of your children are babies, they are grown, intelligent people, and don't need to be pandered to.

Oh my god @kradinsky this is exactly it. I've seen one and want to make an offer on it, and when i tried to tell the girls about it i was met with being told i was being selfish and manipulative and threatening to rip the roof off their heads

When they've done so much for me through the time we were still living with my ex, and the time going through the divorce

Why not start looking, seriously, at downsizing?
Browse through pictures and details of places, and imagine how you would fit into a new, stress free environment.

Well you’ve done enough for them over the years, maybe too much because you’ve over compensated due to feeling guilty about the divorce? ( maybe? )
It’s your life too & you need happiness, or even just peace.
All the best.

I would like to live with my son again, but i also want him to (and he told me he has his own aspirations to) have his own place, get married some day and have children.
I love my girls, they are individually amazing people. They see me as their antagonist now though, and their rejection kills me more than anything I've ever experienced