Estranged daughter and my will

I would help youngest daughter now, as much as you can. Then leave what ever is left between the two of them.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

User I do not hate my son or daughter in law for what they have done . I still love my son but the son I knew for 32 years no idea who he is now . The love I had for my daughter in law died the moment I read she wrote ' FIL died to get away from MIL'. She never knew my husband and I thought how can anyone who loves my son write something so wicked about his dad. My husband died in agony unable to breath on full oxygen from cancer and she knew that .

I have only hated 2 people in my life my father in law and mother in law. I hated my mother in law for 40 years but I still looked after until she died . I was her emergency contact and saw her ever week. She out lived my husband by 11 years.

Why are you so fixated on blaming estranged parents? Always blaming us for what our children decide to do . Then make out we are bad parents .

Change the record.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

I agree if they are left out of the will out of spite but once again User you are making assumptions about why people you've never met and will never know, have made the decision to disinherit.

You are right when you say sometimes the parents leave no other choice for their child but conveniently 'forget' that it's sometimes and not always the case when you constantly push your agenda of blaming EP's.

For those of us unfortunately familiar with your contributions to anything concerning estrangement as unpleasant as they are, it is now expected and is like water off a duck's back, but for anyone new to GN, it is I'm sure extremely upsetting and off putting.

BlueBelle

Smileless2012

That's been the case for others who have estranged too, and it makes sense to me DL. I wouldn't dream of inheriting anything from someone I'd decided I didn't want anything to do with.

But surely its the message left behind which if left out is ‘you were right to disown me, I don’t love you as much as I love your sister ‘
The daughter can refuse it if she feels that strongly but surely you want to leave the message ‘no matter what you are both my girls ’
Help the kind daughter now and that ll make what you leave behind smaller but the estranged daughter will never know that
You gave birth to two girls they have your blood running through their veins. They are both part of you good and bad
I couldn’t leave a legacy of hate leave a message of love, its all we have left

Agreed.

Leaving them out of the will out of spite only proves that they were right all along about their parents.

Their love was always superficial and conditional. Unlucky.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Well if that's the message an EAC wants to take then they will take it BlueBelle. It's their decision to estrange and if EP's decide to disinherit them, that is their decision to take.

A legacy of hate is the legacy our son has left for us, not what we have and will leave for him.

Smileless2012

That's been the case for others who have estranged too, and it makes sense to me DL. I wouldn't dream of inheriting anything from someone I'd decided I didn't want anything to do with.

But surely its the message left behind which if left out is ‘you were right to disown me, I don’t love you as much as I love your sister ‘
The daughter can refuse it if she feels that strongly but surely you want to leave the message ‘no matter what you are both my girls ’
Help the kind daughter now and that ll make what you leave behind smaller but the estranged daughter will never know that
You gave birth to two girls they have your blood running through their veins. They are both part of you good and bad
I couldn’t leave a legacy of hate leave a message of love, its all we have left

User you never have a nice word to say to anyone on the estrangement threads .

Best if you keep your opinions to yourself. And stop blaming parents . It's their children who make the choice to estrange their parents . And when people like me do not know why stop calling us liars. You may sugar coat it but that's what you are doing.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

As others have said, if you cut out ypyr oldest, your younger daughter may well suffer the consequences. She only has one sibling..why jeopardise that? Worse than any amount of money she may benefit from.

User you appear to simply wish to argue rather than respond to reasoned comment!

Bcow I'm sorry that responses to you have been overshadowed by educated or otherwise guesses. If relevant think about your politics. If not do whatever makes you feel is the right thing to do

But you don't know do you User so how can you claim to be helping the OP with your 'highly-educated^ guess?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

You don't know User; you're making assumptions that are neither helpful or pleasant.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

User, if you cannot be nice better not say anything, you don't know peoples circumstances.

Well I suppose you acknowledging that EAC can be deplorable is something User.

Well said Madgran.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

*User "Why does her estrangement have to rip your heart into pieces?
Shouldn't you be glad that your child grew up to be strong, wise and independent enough to do what's best for their life, even at the cost of a large inheritance. Having your heart ripped apart by their estrangement makes you sound more like a forlorn partner rather than a parent. Also, if you have no idea why she cut contact in 2017, it might have something to do with trump becoming president in 2016 and exposing how awful some people truly are*

Good heavens User have you no sense atall of an entirely human and understandable response in terms of feelings and emotions, of a parent who is estranged! I support someone who after years of abuse *chose to estrange themselves from their adult child*- and even as the one making that choice she has been devastated by the loss of that child etc etc!

And then in a later post you suggest that such feelings are immature (even though difficult to deal with). So the way that Bcowlady expressed her pain in dealing with it is now clearly not up to your apparent guidelines on expressing painful emotions.

And then there is your astounding unpleasantly expressed commentary on an upset posters potential politics being the cause.

At the very least your points could have been expressed more kindly as if one really wants to help on a thread like this, it is necessary to communicate in a way that an upset and hurting person can "hear"what is being said and it is perfectly possible to give very hard constructively critical comments on a way that a person can accept and at least think about your points!

deplorable parents oh dear.

Smileless2012

^I've never understood why some people feel entitled to receive anything^ neither have I Marthjolly. Inheritance is a gift, not a right.

Amen to that.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.