Estranged daughter and my will

Fair point.

You have no idea whether or not Bcowlady is a Trump supporter User so what on earth are you going on about? This is really quite extraordinary even for you.

There's no specific information as to why there's been an increase in estrangement since Trump's election, so we have no idea how many parents have been estranged because they support Trump or because they didn't.

Your assumptions are off the scale.

We only ever know what we're told Basgetti, and whether or not an EAC has good cause to cut contact, doesn't necessarily reduce the pain of the parent they've estranged.

Oh, I see. Tbh, I’d struggle to maintain any sort of relationship with my parents if they supported Reform.

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BlueBelle

Oh no no no treat them the same in your will even though she has estranged herself she is still your daughter Definitely split it three way, her, her sister, and the grandchildren or give the younger daughter who is struggling something along the way which no one needs to know about

Tbf, we don’t know that the daughter didn’t have good cause to cut contact: we don’t know the reason behind it.

Well said Smiles . User that was cruel and uncalled for .

Like Smiles says Bcowlady come onto the support thread . We understand how you feel .

Good grief User is there any need to be so unpleasant, especially to someone new to GN?

I think only someone whose fortunate enough not to have been estranged by their child could ask an EP why their estrangement has ripped their heart into pieces. makes you sound more like a forlorn partner than a parent really!!!

What on earth are you suggesting in your final paragraph? That the OP who you don't even know is an awful person?

This as you well know is a forum for estrangement and there's no need for such unpleasantness. It is, or at least it should be possible to disagree with and/or question a poster without being nasty.

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If you are asking advice about a subject such as this poster and her will, personally I can see no objection to revisiting it rather than opening another with same heading, if no one want to contribute it will just stop.

Hello Bcowlady as DL has posted this is an old thread so maybe you'd like to take a look at the support thread for estrangement on this forum.

Bcowlady56

I'm new here. I have 1 daughter. She is my whole world. In 2017 she quit speaking to me for some reason. I have done everything I know to do but regarding your Will, you don't owe her or anyone anything. If you have other children that do things to help you and will probably be there for you if you got sick, why should you give the child anything that has completely ripped your heart into pieces? I have a farm which my daughter has not bothered to do anything with or for the farm. She won’t bring my grandchildren I have never met to their farm. No im not leaving her anything unless something drastically changes. Which I don't foresee happening.

You have joined an old thread. You might be better starting your own new one.

I'm new here. I have 1 daughter. She is my whole world. In 2017 she quit speaking to me for some reason. I have done everything I know to do but regarding your Will, you don't owe her or anyone anything. If you have other children that do things to help you and will probably be there for you if you got sick, why should you give the child anything that has completely ripped your heart into pieces? I have a farm which my daughter has not bothered to do anything with or for the farm. She won’t bring my grandchildren I have never met to their farm. No im not leaving her anything unless something drastically changes. Which I don't foresee happening.

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My eldest son and his family cut us out of their lives in 2009. He was getting wed for a second time and I didn't agree with him not telling his children until after the event, wife to be had hers there. He told me his family was none of my business and ended contact. He never kept in touch with anyone from his family.
I did have a couple brief online messages when I had to contact him about an inheritance from my father in 2002 but nothing after. All the grandchildren now grown up, never contacted.

So my will was changed and only my partner and younger son are included. I have hand written the reason behind my decision not to include the eldest or his family.

We were advised to state that our ES (the will simply names him) had been adequately provided for during our lifetime Nana, because that's preferable to not mentioning him at all if he chose to contest the will.

Thanks Whiff .

Foggy brain should have said Nana Smiless2012 hasn't got a daughter but 2 sons ..

Sorry missed out Smiless2012

Nana hasn't got a daughter but 2 sons . One estranged for a long time . But still has her other loving son in their lives.

Smileless2012

We were advised by our solicitor to state in our will that our ES had been adequately provided for during our lifetime. That was when we'd been estranged for about 6 years.

It's been more than 12 years now and we were also advised that the length of the estrangement would be another factor if the will were to be challenged.

Sorry can you clarify, you mean you were asked to clarify if you provided for your ED adequately in her lifetime?
I thought it was about not having provided for her, if she's relied upon you surely she would have an argument that you keep providing for her? Or am I misreading

It is a very sad that loving parents even have to think like this, its not a decision to be taken lightly and only done after much heartache that no one can fully understand if they haven't experienced it. Like others I have been more than a decade and
it gets easier coping but I carry it in my heart.

We were advised by our solicitor to state in our will that our ES had been adequately provided for during our lifetime. That was when we'd been estranged for about 6 years.

It's been more than 12 years now and we were also advised that the length of the estrangement would be another factor if the will were to be challenged.

Allsorts

If you leave one child out I was told to leave a nominal amount to that child and a letter stating why so it can’t be challenged, that is why i said if you have money to spare now use it to help the one that is there you,.

Apparently it's better to write it in your own hand. Just in case.

Marg75

Thank you Nana49 people that are not in our situation should never attempt to preach what they consider to be right, how dare they. We made our decision with a lot of soul searching and felt deeply that it is the right thing to do.

I agree it's a very difficult decision. But one that is yours, wishing you all the best

It's hard to understand what the thought process is Allsorts. GC don't visit so you cut them off which means they'll never visit.

Perhaps for some it is a mental illness .