Putting myself on the chopping block ...

User138562

I'm assuming OP did not see MIL marching through the home and immediately assume she was going to harm their child. And the incident caused the end of MIL's access. So there is nothing to criticize there.

Agreed...

Estranging a family member is incredibly difficult, especially when it is your partner's mother. Sometimes we give these people far too many chances but we do that because we are good people and we hope they can be better.

They only have themselves to blame when we walk away

Exactly DL.

So there is nothing to criticise there or talk about really as the m.i.l. has been estranged, she doesn't see her son or GC and the OP's done with her.

Well, if there is no contact now, the situation is now sorted out.👍

I'm assuming OP did not see MIL marching through the home and immediately assume she was going to harm their child. And the incident caused the end of MIL's access. So there is nothing to criticize there.

I don't think the OP does want to resume a relationship with her eazybee, her partner no longer sees his mum so she doesn't see her GC and she said in her OP that she's "completely done with her".

Time to move on.

I mean, families are complicated ….

Yes Miss A 😫

My daughter-in-law has a mother who repeatedly "helped" her with her 1st baby. She later told me she felt useless as a new mum and unable to stop it. But, she grew in strength and her mum was warned off baby 2.
We don't all get everything "right" first time.

VioletSky

DiamondLily

Well, I wouldn’t have just sat there. But, then I’m a gobby person who would have slung anyone out who tried to harm my kids.🙄

You've said this 3 or 4 times now

I think OP has done a wonderful job in protecting her child and doesn't need to be held to account here when it is not her behaviour at fault

Please think about how your comments may come across

I wasn’t holding anyone to account, and I’ve not said it multiple times.

Obviously, everyone should protect their children, from anyone who is causing harm, and I’m sure you would agree with that.🙂

It’s common sense. 🤷‍♀️

Umm.
I do not understand why the OP feels the need to resume any sort of relationship with her mother in law after her dangerous behaviour.
If it is true.

DiamondLily

Well, I wouldn’t have just sat there. But, then I’m a gobby person who would have slung anyone out who tried to harm my kids.🙄

You've said this 3 or 4 times now

I think OP has done a wonderful job in protecting her child and doesn't need to be held to account here when it is not her behaviour at fault

Please think about how your comments may come across

I think anyone taking a baby away from her mother, keeping hold of her for hours and refusing to give her back is more than a walking red flag Hithere .

For a start the baby would have needed feeding and changing at the very least over a few hours.

Hithere

Mama

Your mil is a walking red flag from the very beginning.

"From LO being born she would take my baby from me and keep hold of her for hours and refuse to hand her back - for a new mum with post birth hormones all over the place this causes so much stress and anxiety."
Post birth hormones have NOTHING to do with this.

Imagine you buy the car of your dreams, after months of waiting to be delivered and saving and somebody "borrows" the keys for hours to test drive it.

That said person is rude! No hormones involved at all and that person needs to be put in her/his place

I agree with you. No one would normally just sit there whilst someone else ran off with their car keys.

Any more than most people would sit there whilst someone refused to hand baby back, and fed them a product that would harm them.🤷‍♀️

Odd all round.🤔

Mama

Your mil is a walking red flag from the very beginning.

"From LO being born she would take my baby from me and keep hold of her for hours and refuse to hand her back - for a new mum with post birth hormones all over the place this causes so much stress and anxiety."
Post birth hormones have NOTHING to do with this.

Imagine you buy the car of your dreams, after months of waiting to be delivered and saving and somebody "borrows" the keys for hours to test drive it.

That said person is rude! No hormones involved at all and that person needs to be put in her/his place

They certainly can be MissA and as the OP and her partner no longer see her m.i.l./his mother or their children their GM, hopefully she can put it behind her and move on.

Families.
Complicated things aren't they?

But, then I'm a gobby person who would have slung anyone out who tried to harm my kids I'm with you there DL.

The OP said in a later post that she got on well with her m.i.l. before the children came along MissA which isn't uncommon in these situations.

We got on very well with ES's wife until she became pregnant and went on to have our GC, or at least we thought we did but looking back the signs were there, we just didn't read them.

I'd expect my partner to deal with his mother, but then I can only assume the family dynamics were always revolving around a dominant matriarch.

Well, I wouldn’t have just sat there. But, then I’m a gobby person who would have slung anyone out who tried to harm my kids.🙄

I wanted to ask what the relationship was like between the partners and their mums before the children came along, please?

Did the sons just do as they were told when they were single?

Very odd behaviour, giving anyone something that would make them ill DL let alone a baby. You'd certainly ensure they were never out of sight with them again wouldn't you.

No, giving chocolate to a child that age is stupid. I don’t quite get why two parents would sit there whilst the mil stormed past with chocolate though…🤔

Mamasperspective sadly your story is not stand alone... I've heard many such. I myself had an awful experience when my 4 month old lactose intolerant baby with severe reflux was given icecream. Absolutely shouted down and torn to pieces when I protested. He threw up all over the offender then screamed the place down for hours. It was an awful experience.

It can actually be quite hard for new mums to stand up to what feels like "experienced adults". So when they do something so monumentally stupid despite a doctor's advice you absolutely know it is their fault. They, like a child, made a bad choice knowing the potential outcome because they wanted to be in power over you.

That is unforgivable and not a safe person to be around any child.

You as a mum protected your child from a dangerous human and should be applauded.

Thank you Mamasperspective I did think it was chocolate related.
Anal fissures are horrendous.