Estrangement and inheritance

We have recently rewritten our Wills to exclude our long estranged son. Our solicitor got each of us to write handwritten letters to go with our Wills explaining why we had left him our so that could be no claim. We have not told our other son, who, apart from several charities, will be the only beneficiary. If the situation changes, then perhaps so will our Wills.

If all the beneficiaries agree, they are able to make what’s called a Deed of Variation. I think there’s a time limit to doing this. But it would mean that your wishes ‘could’ be overridden. Just depends if the beneficiaries think what’s in the Will is fair or not.

Hope you find the official advice puts your mind at rest LittleCupCake.

Sorry for late reply, just a thank you .

Yes, best to go through a solicitor. 🙂

Yes, I'm thinking we need to get official advice on this. I really don't want to be caught out. Thank you for reply.

As far as I'm aware she wouldn't have grounds for contesting your will LittleCupCake but a solicitor will be able to advise you on the best way of ensuring this.

Our will states that our property/money is left equally to our S&D, but recently DS has separated from his wife. She had 3 children previously, he brought them up from very young age. Our relationship with them has not been great, we've tried very hard, but always seems the Mother has influenced them negativiley against us. We now have decided that we don't want her or the children to benefit from our hard earned cash or property. If our DS decides he wishes for them to have something, then we can't do anything about that. But, we want to change our will to reflect our wishes. But wondering if she could contest it as being his wife?

That's actually a great way of putting it, @Smileless2012

Our wills state that our ES was adequately provided for in our lifetime, which until he estranged us was the case in fact more than adequately.

Stillstanding

I read a while ago that the number of wills being contested has gone up in recent years and it was thought this was due to the rise in property values. I have tried to find out the law and it appears that despite the fact that my daughter has not spoken to me for about 30 years she has entitlement. I helped her and her husband buy their first property and then got "dumped" when they moved into it with my grandson who was 2 years old and who I have never seen again..

My grandsons are now about 28 and 32 years old. If they had any guts or gumption they would have tried to contact me years ago via family members or face book. I dont want to leave them anything either.

I have a will made out many years ago, an executrix and a solicitor who all know the whole story.

But I am worried that my will might be contested simply by my daughter and son-in-law claiming rights.

Is anyone else concerned about this?
Has anyone else taken action to prevent their will be overturned?

I was advised by my solicitor to write a letter detailing the reasons why I have not included my eldest daughter in my will. She has the entitlement to claim but I feel confident that if she did the letter explains fully the reasons for my decision.

i hope GSM is ok ?
haven't seen her around on the boards for a while.

Thanks @PamelaJ1 yes she was very helpful on a previous post I made about there being "no money for care" www.gransnet.com/forums/care_and_carers/1336833-Care-needs-but-Attourney-says-theres-no-money-for-care-so-refuses-to-activate-POA

Thanks GSM if you're reading.

Further to onward I think that I read that if you leave a token, cash or a momento to a child then it reduced the chances of them contesting the will. Apparently this shows that you have thought about the action you have taken and made your wishes very clear.
I don’t know if this is true, GSD would have let us know.

What about if you now realise that someone had Alzheimers when they made their will, but they hadnt had a formal diagnosis back then?

Hmm it's interesting.

For me, I remember reading that someone said you can't leave some of your kids out of a will? I need to check this out as I have an estranged child that didn't even bother to check during covid if I was alive or dead and one that is so wealthy that they don't need it. I am wondering if there's a good way to leave it to grandkids. Not written a will yet, as you can tell!

Smileless I can tell you first hand, they have a view of us that put their parents in a good light. Even if they do reunite when older it’s not the same, their minds have been set against us to justify actions. Leave a token amount and then if you’re lucky enough, to charity, unless there’s someone one else that needs the money and you’re close to. I would support young people who want to achieve but have no family support but there’s so many worthy ones. My money would not go to someone who didn’t want to see me.

Summerlove

*My grandsons are now about 28 and 32 years old. If they had any guts or gumption they would have tried to contact me years ago via family members or face book.*

I think this is unfair on the grandsons. You are a stranger to them. Calling them gutless for not reaching out comes across as vindictive.

By all means leave them nothing, they are strangers, but why the name calling?

Agreed. They’re strangers to you and you to them. Of course you’re not obligated to leave a stranger anything but that doesn’t make them spineless or anything of the sort for not seeking out a stanger

VioletSky

It doesn't look like you need to worry given the previous answers

The will may never be contested

But perhaps you could work out your finances and future needs and simply use your own money to bring some joy to your own life...

I agree with this. I can’t fathom being overly concerned as to the point of worry that someone may contest my will once I’m gone. If you are spend some time allocating the funds out and setting it to good use while you’re here

Definition: In Scottish law, when a father passes away, his surviving children have the right to share in his movable estate. This is called the bairn's part or legitim. If the father's spouse is still alive, the bairn's part is one-third of the estate. If there is no surviving spouse, the bairn's part is one-half of the estate.
I have seen this in operation and was horrified that my uncle's wishes were not followed. It also adds a lot to the legal fees.

Perhaps the stories they have been told by your daughter, even if not true have left them with the opinion that you do not want to see them and that you cut them out of your life. In which case, why should they make any attempt to see you?

the best way to show that actually a loving grandmother would be to leave them some money and perhaps a short letter saying how you loved them and missed them and have left them a legacy to show your affection.

Summerlove

*My grandsons are now about 28 and 32 years old. If they had any guts or gumption they would have tried to contact me years ago via family members or face book.*

I think this is unfair on the grandsons. You are a stranger to them. Calling them gutless for not reaching out comes across as vindictive.

By all means leave them nothing, they are strangers, but why the name calling?

This. Fix your will as you want and leave it be. This isn’t something I’d give much headspace.

It’s never worth arguing over a Will. People, rightly, have the legal right to leave any money to who they choose to. 🤷‍♀️

I was left out if a will, my sister got the whole estate. I did not contest as I could not be bothered with this greedy conniving woman.
I have not allowed myself to become angry and bitter, my life is worth more than money. I am estranged from my sister and have no wish to contact her.

you don't know how their minds may have been poisoned over the years exactly GSM.

Grandmabatty

I think the rule is different in Scotland regarding children's right to property. I believe a child can claim a certain amount of moveable estate.

I believe this is so, but I only know about the law of England and Wales. I always forget that a poster may well be in Scotland, not deliberately but because I know nothing of Scots law.