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Estrangement

Estrangement and inheritance

(44 Posts)
Stillstanding Sat 15-Jun-24 13:38:23

I read a while ago that the number of wills being contested has gone up in recent years and it was thought this was due to the rise in property values. I have tried to find out the law and it appears that despite the fact that my daughter has not spoken to me for about 30 years she has entitlement. I helped her and her husband buy their first property and then got "dumped" when they moved into it with my grandson who was 2 years old and who I have never seen again..

My grandsons are now about 28 and 32 years old. If they had any guts or gumption they would have tried to contact me years ago via family members or face book. I dont want to leave them anything either.

I have a will made out many years ago, an executrix and a solicitor who all know the whole story.

But I am worried that my will might be contested simply by my daughter and son-in-law claiming rights.

Is anyone else concerned about this?
Has anyone else taken action to prevent their will be overturned?

M0nica Sat 15-Jun-24 14:19:54

In the UK you can leave your money to whoever you wish and if you wish to exclude your daughter from your will you can.

The only circumstances where an adult child can claim on their parents will is if they were dependent on their parent for any reason, and, occasionally where they had worked for a parent for a low salargy on the understanding that they were to inherit.
Clearly none of these rare circumstances occur in your case. So make your ill exclude your daughter and offspring and do not worry about them being able to do anything about it.

However, I am not the expert. I am sure that GermanShepherdsmum, who is a solicitor, will come on this thread and corect any errors I have made.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 15-Jun-24 14:41:22

An adult child won’t succeed in challenging a parent’s will unless they are financially dependent on the parent, have acted to their detriment on a promise that they would be left a legacy which was absent from the will, or they can demonstrate that the parent was not mentally capable of understanding what they were doing when the will was written or was acting under duress.

It is wise to place a note with the will explaining why someone has not received a legacy, but nothing must be physically attached to the will - no paper clip or staple for instance - or the executor will have to prove what the attachment was (and a disgruntled relative could always try to claim that the attachment was a codicil amending the will).

Whiff Sat 15-Jun-24 14:41:36

When I changed my will in 2020 my solicitor told me anyone can contest a will up to 2 years after you die. I had to get a letter from my GP stating my neurological condition wasn't a mental illness and I was of sound mind cost me £40. Then my solicitor got me to write a letter that would be read out in court if my will was contested. She wanted me to write about my sons upbringing including his dad's cancer and death and what our relationship was after and up until he decides to dump me as his mom in May 2020 via email. Plus what happened in my life after my husbands death Took me 2 days and many tears . I wrote 13 sides of page A4. The solicitor cried when she read it. There is a copy of his email and the letter he sent me in August 2020 with my will. I have left everything to my daughter . At the same time I took out both powers of attorney and my daughter and son in law are my attorney's. When I die there is no need for my son to know as he isn't in my will .

My husband and I believed children inherit from parents and it's up to the parents if they give anything to grandchildren. The only thing my husband's dad left him was a car number plate and a pair of brass cufflinks.

If my daughter dies before me then her son's interit.

After their dad died the children said they didn't want any inheritance when I died. Because I was 45 the government gave me £2,000 towards the funeral but we had already put the money aside as we knew he was dieing . So I gave the children £1,000.

Even though my son doesn't want me I am proud of the fact both couples brought their own homes and paid for their own weddings without any help from me . I wasn't in the position to help them but wouldn't have as if I had. My husband and I saved went without to buy over own home . The phase I hate most is the bank of mom and dad. If people what something then you have to work and save for it.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 15-Jun-24 14:43:34

There is of course a great difference between someone trying to contest a will and being successful in doing so.

Allsorts Sat 15-Jun-24 15:27:10

Agree with you Whiff, so many children rely on the bank of mom and dad, it’s not given they inherit anything. I’ve never inherited money if there’s anything left it will go to family, unless of course the next government decide everything’s taxable without any threshold.

Grandmabatty Sat 15-Jun-24 16:16:02

I think the rule is different in Scotland regarding children's right to property. I believe a child can claim a certain amount of moveable estate.

Granniesunite Sat 15-Jun-24 16:19:48

I was just about to post that Grandmabatty👍

DiamondLily Sat 15-Jun-24 17:53:15

Wills can be contested, but there have to be good reasons, in England. (I think Scotland may be different, although I could be wrong).

I would just leave your money to whoever you choose to.

You could leave a letter laying out your reasons for this.

Allsorts Sun 16-Jun-24 06:30:32

I think unless your children who were left out of a parents Will would only have a claim if they had been reliant on the parents. Always best to get a Will done by a solicitor with a letter explaining why that person had been left out, such as abondonment of thirty years or such like,

VioletSky Sun 16-Jun-24 12:52:44

It doesn't look like you need to worry given the previous answers

The will may never be contested

But perhaps you could work out your finances and future needs and simply use your own money to bring some joy to your own life...

keepingquiet Sun 16-Jun-24 13:01:02

I was told all wills can be contested but it is an expensive process and maybe not financially rewarding, as some have pointed out there is little guarantee it would succeed.

In some ways I consider myself fortunate that my family have never had very much to leave behind.

I have reason to believe my mum was the first person in my family (including the paternal line) to leave a will.

With my share I had a piece of jewellery made in her memory which I intend to pass on to my granddaughter.

Whatever money I have left which won't amount to much I will leave to my children.

I'm glad my life isn't so complicated.

Cossy Sun 16-Jun-24 13:01:28

VioletSky

It doesn't look like you need to worry given the previous answers

The will may never be contested

But perhaps you could work out your finances and future needs and simply use your own money to bring some joy to your own life...

I completely agree

JaneJudge Sun 16-Jun-24 13:18:44

I agree with VioletSky smile

Smileless2012 Sun 16-Jun-24 13:53:48

We changed our wills about 7 years ago and disinherited our ES Stillstanding. We've never worried about whether or not he'd attempt to contest it because there's nothing we could do about it if he did.

Live and enjoy your life and make the most of what you have and the people you love, who love you in return.

M0nica Sun 16-Jun-24 16:07:15

keepingquiet I do not think it is so much that any will can be contested, as much as no will is immune from being contested.

But you cannot contest a will unless you think you have a good legal reason for contesting it. The 'she was my mother I am entitled to some of her money' claim will never get to court.

Summerlove Sun 16-Jun-24 16:12:09

My grandsons are now about 28 and 32 years old. If they had any guts or gumption they would have tried to contact me years ago via family members or face book.

I think this is unfair on the grandsons. You are a stranger to them. Calling them gutless for not reaching out comes across as vindictive.

By all means leave them nothing, they are strangers, but why the name calling?

DiamondLily Sun 16-Jun-24 16:19:38

Smileless2012

We changed our wills about 7 years ago and disinherited our ES Stillstanding. We've never worried about whether or not he'd attempt to contest it because there's nothing we could do about it if he did.

Live and enjoy your life and make the most of what you have and the people you love, who love you in return.

Best way. If care costs come into it, many will have nothing to leave anyone anyway.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 16-Jun-24 16:29:05

You can’t blame your grandsons, OP, because you don’t know how their minds may have been poisoned over the years. However, such name calling may be a clue to the reason for the estrangement. It’s not what I would expect an estranged grandparent to say.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 16-Jun-24 16:31:09

Grandmabatty

I think the rule is different in Scotland regarding children's right to property. I believe a child can claim a certain amount of moveable estate.

I believe this is so, but I only know about the law of England and Wales. I always forget that a poster may well be in Scotland, not deliberately but because I know nothing of Scots law.

Smileless2012 Sun 16-Jun-24 17:04:58

you don't know how their minds may have been poisoned over the years exactly GSM.

rafichagran Sun 16-Jun-24 17:18:12

I was left out if a will, my sister got the whole estate. I did not contest as I could not be bothered with this greedy conniving woman.
I have not allowed myself to become angry and bitter, my life is worth more than money. I am estranged from my sister and have no wish to contact her.

DiamondLily Sun 16-Jun-24 17:25:15

It’s never worth arguing over a Will. People, rightly, have the legal right to leave any money to who they choose to. 🤷‍♀️

Coosman Sun 16-Jun-24 18:31:29

Summerlove

*My grandsons are now about 28 and 32 years old. If they had any guts or gumption they would have tried to contact me years ago via family members or face book.*

I think this is unfair on the grandsons. You are a stranger to them. Calling them gutless for not reaching out comes across as vindictive.

By all means leave them nothing, they are strangers, but why the name calling?

This. Fix your will as you want and leave it be. This isn’t something I’d give much headspace.

M0nica Mon 17-Jun-24 19:31:32

Perhaps the stories they have been told by your daughter, even if not true have left them with the opinion that you do not want to see them and that you cut them out of your life. In which case, why should they make any attempt to see you?

the best way to show that actually a loving grandmother would be to leave them some money and perhaps a short letter saying how you loved them and missed them and have left them a legacy to show your affection.