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Estrangement

Daughter won't communicate with me at all

(378 Posts)
Tuaim Fri 06-Sept-24 07:23:02

Can you speak to one of the siblings who you can trust? Maybe they may know. Was she often like this in the past? You need to look at the surrounding circumstances? Has she got in with a crowd/been to a therapist who may have put ideas in her head? Is there a partner/children? These may all indicate a reason.

Babs03 Fri 06-Sept-24 06:54:03

Hi, firstly you are not alone, far from it. And am so sorry that you are going through this.
This withdrawal without explanation is a torment and I can imagine how desperate you must be feeling.
Your husband, however, could be right, your daughter may come round, and if she only does so in order to communicate with him you might get a better idea of why she is doing this and he could help find a way for the two of you to speak again.
An accusation of mental illness is cruel inasmuch as even if you are mentally unwell it is hardly your fault and sympathy rather than an accusation are in order, but to make this accusation without any foundation in truth shows that your daughter only wishes to hurt you right now, for whatever reason.
In any case if she is saying things like this right now is better if you are not communicating for the time being and if your husband and siblings keep the lines of communication open.
You mustn’t lose hope. 6 months seems like a long time when you feel so hurt, but it really isn’t, there is time to repair this so stay strong. But whatever you do don’t feel so reduced due to her withdrawal that you accept any kind of reconciliation, remember it must be on your terms as well as hers, and she owes you an explanation and apology for putting you through this.
Give her too much leeway and you will leave the way wide open for her to do this again.
I really hope you manage to sort this out.
All he best xx

EleanorRose Fri 06-Sept-24 05:11:26

My daughter has cut me off and she won't tell me why.
She won't answer texts from me or answer the phone.

I wake up each morning feeling sick; she is in contact with her siblings as if nothing has happened.

I feel like I have been erased.

My husband is much more optimistic than me, he thinks she will come round at some point. I think she may, with him, but I fear she won't with me. Hoping feels so painful. The scenario I fear is that she will be in contact with everyone but me.

I am keeping busy but my life feels hollow, to be rejected by your own child is excruciating and I cannot stop thinking about it.

She also insinuates that I am mentally ill.
It's an accusation that is very hard to fight against as it has no basis in reality.

I have offered to speak, to talk to a counsellor, to try and sort things out, but her siblings tell me she see's no point in trying. She also won't tell me what I've done.

This is so traumatic, I just love her so much.
I feel so alone. I don't know anyone else who is going through this. It has been 6 months.