Daughter won't communicate with me at all

Babs03

Smiling2017

I'll say the quiet part out loud.

This entire site, not just the support thread, is meant to be an echo-chamber of support for EP "who have no idea what they did wrong".

VS, you got the memo when you first joined this site. But for whatever reason, you were able to take accountability and grow as a person. I think this forum is evidence enough that people are capable of change, albeit extremely rarely.

Your level-headed advice is more than valid, and pretending their emotionally stunted viewpoint deserves a seat at the table is being done only out of politeness (I'm guessing/hoping).

Seeing the way they continuously behave, it's of little to no surprise their children no longer have the innate, natural desire to love their parent; so much so as to entirely cut all contact.

Anyone who isn't emotionally invested sees right through their provocations, twisting of the situation, skirting details, playing dumb, cat-piling, outright lying, and so on.

Closing statements. Don't take them seriously, it's just the blind leading the blind on here. It's fantastic you're finally able to see, but don't get so emotionally invested in trying to wake up others. More often than not, it's completely futile, and they will just drag you down in the process.

Take care

Not nice. Picking a monicker that is similar to Smileless then saying such nasty things about parents who are estranged.
We are not in any way some sort of club, we are individuals with different back stories, to suggest we are conspiring to do anything is just paranoid.
Whatever point you were trying to make has been negated by your awful remarks so there was not much point in going to such trouble.

Too much of a coincidence for my liking.
BTW it’s obvious that there are some posters here who either have a short memory or are relatively new to the site.

Yep. Trolling for sure.

I thunk a lot of trolling is happening, !

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

mickeysmiles

Websites cannot run without views. It's how they sell ads and get money to operate. The amount of people commenting will always be a tiny fraction of those who actually view the sites. That's just a fact. No one should be surprised at new commenters "coming out of the woodwork". Readers are the many. Those who regularly post comments are the very few. I too am laughing, but only because I have been silently reading Gransnet long enough to know how ironic the insinuations are.

I feel compelled to post today. VS, I cannot wrap my mind around why you subject yourself to the constant nitpicking and piling on, but I appreciate reading how thoughtful you write on this touchy subject. I really just came to say your compassionate, respectful perspective is noted.

To the OP, I hope one day you and your daughter will at least have the opportunity to listen to each other. You cannot force contact, but if she is willing to sit down with you I hope you both can have an open-minded conversation. No one on the internet has the insight into your relationship to say who is right or wrong, so I wouldn't come here for validation at all. Wishing you genuine peace and healing!

Wow. Another moniker with 'smiles' in it.
And another gushing post about VS.
Who would have thunk it.

@Grams2five
Nobody has discouraged the OP from a possible reconciliation, quite the opposite.
When a reconciliation is possible it should be grasped by both parties, with apologies from both sides if necessary.
I would personally never wish upon anyone the hell myself, my DH and our other 3 daughters have suffered. But in some cases a reconciliation is not possible, especially where abuse is involved, as it was with us.
But if you feel you know better than me by all means elaborate.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

We've removed this as it reposts a deleted post.

It does look as if as EP's we are more emotionally invested in the truth than some who post here Bridie.

Well it made me laugh TBH Babs; so obvious.

Another VS supporter coming out of the woodwork!
Smiling2017, I can assure you I'm emotionally invested in the truth ,

Smiling2017

I'll say the quiet part out loud.

This entire site, not just the support thread, is meant to be an echo-chamber of support for EP "who have no idea what they did wrong".

VS, you got the memo when you first joined this site. But for whatever reason, you were able to take accountability and grow as a person. I think this forum is evidence enough that people are capable of change, albeit extremely rarely.

Your level-headed advice is more than valid, and pretending their emotionally stunted viewpoint deserves a seat at the table is being done only out of politeness (I'm guessing/hoping).

Seeing the way they continuously behave, it's of little to no surprise their children no longer have the innate, natural desire to love their parent; so much so as to entirely cut all contact.

Anyone who isn't emotionally invested sees right through their provocations, twisting of the situation, skirting details, playing dumb, cat-piling, outright lying, and so on.

Closing statements. Don't take them seriously, it's just the blind leading the blind on here. It's fantastic you're finally able to see, but don't get so emotionally invested in trying to wake up others. More often than not, it's completely futile, and they will just drag you down in the process.

Take care

Not nice. Picking a monicker that is similar to Smileless then saying such nasty things about parents who are estranged.
We are not in any way some sort of club, we are individuals with different back stories, to suggest we are conspiring to do anything is just paranoid.
Whatever point you were trying to make has been negated by your awful remarks so there was not much point in going to such trouble.

You can see why for some parents, it’s hard to see how much your beloved children change. Sometimes it is just better to remember the happy times. Let them lead the lives they want and let them go. Long past. We couldn't get along now as we are very different people.

Oh dear, here we go again but I would like to thank you for your post Smiling as it clearly demonstrates just how EP's are treated on this forum by some.

Posting seeing the way they continuously behave, it's of little to no surprise their children ....... entirely cut all contact is particularly cruel and unpleasant but I hope no one reports your post, as it says far more about the one whose made it then it can ever say about the EP's on this forum.

I'm proud to be one of the EP's who posts her because I never have and never will see a post of that nature aimed at any EAC.

So are you a 'new' poster or someone whose been lurking for sometime making your first post?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Well. I’m sure we all have our own opinions over what gets dragged off where. The OP has long gone.

Welcome to GN - it’s always nice when new posters join. 🙂

Neither do I. All entitled to our own opinion.

Well I don't agree Lilah.

My family is affected by estrangement and I have generally found this forum helpful. I agree with Meseren's observation of “dog piling.” Claiming a single poster derailed this thread is disingenuous. It went off-track due to several posters’ pages of catty questions and judgmental remarks to and about a particular poster -ironically, while asserting they themselves were unfairly judged. Levying the accusation that any poster is responsible for derailing a thread simply by replying to comments directed to them is both inaccurate and unfair. Open forums permit comments from everyone regardless of personal opinion. All are free to disregard comments that don’t apply to their specific situation. Seems a better choice.

I agree Allsorts. It's just as easy to make someone smile as it is to make them cry.

Its nice making people smile. 😌 Far nicer than upsetting anyone.,

Yes you're right Allsorts there are worse things than estrangement and when I read some of the posts on GN, I'm glad we're out of it.

I do love the classic "just so you know, I didn't read what you wrote" reply. Gets me laughing every time! Okaaaay then.

Smileless2012

Not before today Allsorts. Sometimes as an 'old timer' I think twice so no, I don't expect her to come back and hope she finds the support she needs somewhere else.

Yes, I hope she gets the support needed, somewhere. it seems sometimes impossible to get it here. Shame though. 🙄

Mereren, only read first few lines then saw the length of your post. There are much worse things than estrangement for some parents as living with someone who is a nightmare is so much worse. Talking about parental estrangement by their children, nothing else and won’t be drawn into it.,

Not before today Allsorts. Sometimes as an 'old timer' I think twice so no, I don't expect her to come back and hope she finds the support she needs somewhere else.