Broken hearted at estrangement

00opisdia lovely see the up beat messages from you . I hope your health problems you mentioned in your first posts on page one got sorted out and you have treatment if it was needed.

Getting abuse and silence is why I never sent any cards or gifts after August 2020. And why I decided last autumn to give up hope of every seeing or hearing from my son ever again . Still miss him and my 3 grandson's. But my decision means it doesn't hurt me anyone . And very happy I got to that stage . We all have to reach the stage when we say enough is enough. Just takes people different times .

Make lots of lovely memories with your darling husband. Friends are the people we choose to care about and love . Like you say better than some family .💐

It's so good to see how far you have come 00opsidia .

Being free of the burden to keep on trying and to keep reaching out regardless of the personal cost is empowering and when it happens, you can almost feel the weight being lifted off you.

I can see a happy, peaceful and stress free Christmas waiting for you this year x.

Yes Smileless we are getting on with it now. Fireworks night was a turning point.
It's freeing that I haven't done a thing for Christmas yet. Always used to make so much effort for them all, but it was time consuming and tiring and the efforts were never reciprocated so we will definitely enjoy a simpler Christmas without them.

They do not appreciate us, so we will appreciate each other and what we do have. Last year I sent gifts. This year I will not as I got silence in return. I'm not going to be the one making all the effort and getting abuse or silence in return, anymore. I have strength in that and spending time with friends who are the family we choose for ourselves.

People who make you feel stronger and more positive are like gems and the older I get, I just want to be surrounded by kind people. I do not care if we are related or not.

00opsidia

PS, Standard Counselling advice: We cant change them, we can only change how we deal with them.

I like this poem, we have one wild and precious life. www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-133/the-summer-day/

True mindfulness.. it is so healing

Making new memories with my husband, just us. Learning that we can celebrate being us together and celebrate there not being any toxicity present. Life is precious and it's better without toxicity it certainly is 00opsidia and you and
Mr. 00ps sound just like me and Mr. S..

Yesterday we went to a gorgeous country pub and watched the fireworks. I had Mulled Wine. Very nice. (We havent been to fireworks since we were allowed to see our Grandkids, so it's often felt sad that we weren't doing anything.)

Fortunately this was predominantly adults of all ages, many single and many without children. It was such a relief to do something fun and move on in this way. Time to make new traditions and find new ways to do nice things at Christmas, next.

Making new memories with my husband, just us. Learning that we can celebrate being us together and celebrate there not being any toxicity present. Life is precious and it's better without toxicity.

I remember many fun fireworks evenings we had when the kids were little, which they loved. But they can make their own memories now, too - and we all move on.

Estrangement. It's all such a waste.

A beautiful poem. Don’t let anyone suck the joy out of you.

Thankyou Babs03. I still think about death a lot and am going to get tested for kidney failure too. I think maybe my body is packing up so I'll just do what pleases me from now on.

I won't give anyone room to abuse me anymore. I've had a lifetime of it. Thankyou xx

Lovely poem, and let’s all make the most of this one wild and precious life.
Xx

00opsidia

MandyMoo I'm so sorry and I understand, but I hope you'll take Smileless's advice and not just turn up unannounced. IF you do, you may find hes too shocked to react, but later gets angry that you caught him unawares.

As time goes on , I have no desire to contact "the source" and I have decided that Christmas is cancelled as far as they are concerned. The door is shut. If in future they want someone to pick at they can go to their (selfish, uncaring, useless and absent) father as HE is the one who deserves the abuse for dishing abuse out and wrecking the family as it was. I wash my hands of them and live in peace.

I did my GC's birthday earlier in the year and got no thanks , just rudeness. I'm done with rudeness and being estranged. My money will be better spent- on myself! Life is short and I plan to do what's good for me from now on.

Life is too short indeed.
Glad you have opted for a much calmer and peaceful life which will give you a chance to heal.
🌹

PS, Standard Counselling advice: We cant change them, we can only change how we deal with them.

I like this poem, we have one wild and precious life. www.loc.gov/programs/poetry-and-literature/poet-laureate/poet-laureate-projects/poetry-180/all-poems/item/poetry-180-133/the-summer-day/

MandyMoo I'm so sorry and I understand, but I hope you'll take Smileless's advice and not just turn up unannounced. IF you do, you may find hes too shocked to react, but later gets angry that you caught him unawares.

As time goes on , I have no desire to contact "the source" and I have decided that Christmas is cancelled as far as they are concerned. The door is shut. If in future they want someone to pick at they can go to their (selfish, uncaring, useless and absent) father as HE is the one who deserves the abuse for dishing abuse out and wrecking the family as it was. I wash my hands of them and live in peace.

I did my GC's birthday earlier in the year and got no thanks , just rudeness. I'm done with rudeness and being estranged. My money will be better spent- on myself! Life is short and I plan to do what's good for me from now on.

Do be careful for both your sake's Mandymoo. If you manage to find out where your son is I suggest that you write to him first. If he doesn't want to see you then turning up wont be good for either of you .

Mandymoo456

Im another heartbroken mum
His birthday is Dec 27 so from now I'm so sad, I have decided to go and find him and that excites me, he will be 42 soon, I will be asking him if this torture is necessary, I agree with others how we are good at masking our heartache,

You do what you think best, but you may not get the response you want. Be careful you don’t end up hurting more than you do now.

Best wishes. 💐

You were so right to start this thread 00opsidia. Your feelings are clearly very raw. It is well documented that physical and mental wellbeing are very closely linked.
Be kind to yourself and remember that you are not alone. Plenty of people have come through this very dark tunnel and there is light at the end even if you emerge a changed person.

Im another heartbroken mum
His birthday is Dec 27 so from now I'm so sad, I have decided to go and find him and that excites me, he will be 42 soon, I will be asking him if this torture is necessary, I agree with others how we are good at masking our heartache,

Yes, it's starting to be that way Smileless. I have put up with too much. Always been too accomodating.

They say don't jump over the sea for someone who wouldn't jump over a puddle for you. I am just quietly realising who is for me, who isn't- and who never was. Not just EC. There is nothing like being unwell and not being "useful" to people to see what they really think of you when they find they cannot use you.

Painful but I'm getting on with stuff. Thankyou Smileless xx

Sometimes that silence that once caused so much pain, can be golden 00opsodia*. Stay strong xx

Thankyou, you too Babs03 xx

00opsidia

Thankyou all. I have not seen or heard from "the source" for quite some time now.

Life is more peaceful. Thankyou I'm not ready to keel over yet.

Good to hear it.
Enjoy the peace and keep well.
xx

Thankyou all. I have not seen or heard from "the source" for quite some time now.

Life is more peaceful. Thankyou I'm not ready to keel over yet.

I can only imagine how distressed you are. I sincerely hope you are able to find some peace and solace from posting on here. The only thing I can ' say' ( and please forget me if I am being insensitive) is put yourself first , self preservation comes to mind. We all have only one life and what time we have left is not for spending on a fruitless situation. Your health is so important!!! Please make yourself a priority, no amount of grieving will change things - but the stress you are under has and will continue to be detremental if you don't make a conscious move to improve your life. I send you strength , (((( hugs,)))) and 💐. Please get as much support as you can , try and find appropriate counselling - look to the future and remember you are so important and deserve peace - do what is necessary to make that happen. I wish you happiness.

Thinking of you Ooopsidia -

You did the right thing creating this thread 00psidia. This is where you are right now and for now this is what you need to be focusing on.

Those calmer waters that Babs mentioned are out there, ready and waiting for you when you're ready x